


Memories, even bittersweet ones, are better than nothing

by Worldclassbeauty



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Artificial Insemination, Artificial Intelligence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Fake Marriage, Falling In Love, Friends With Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, Marriage, Married Life, Meet the Family, Memory Loss, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Recovered Memories, Romantic Friendship, Same-Sex Marriage, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Teen Pregnancy, Temporary Amnesia, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2018-07-27 09:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 42,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7612381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worldclassbeauty/pseuds/Worldclassbeauty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“No you don't know where you are?’ or no you don't know who I am?” Shaw asked dreading the answer.</p><p>OR</p><p>Root losses her memories</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You can't wake up, this is not a dream...

The hospital waiting room was relatively empty for a Friday night in down town New York Shaw noted as she paced around the room for what felt like the millionth time. 

Root had been on a mission for The Machine alone and it was supposed to be straight forward, until the guy decided to push Root of a motel roof. It wasn't a long fall but she hit her head into the side of the pavement… so here Shaw was waiting for the others and waiting for any word on how Root was doing. 

Shaw couldn't help but blame The Machine for this. She…no it, is the thing that keeps sending Root on dangerous assignments without any back up. And now she was in the OR having brain surgery. Shaw didn't know the specifics of everything that had happened but a man and his kid had seen the guy pushing Root off of the roof and called an ambulance. Root for reasons that she would have to discuss with her later had an ID on her that said ‘Samantha Winifred Shaw.’ So the hospital contacted her, Samantha’s wife. 

John and Finch arrived together around 20 minutes after Shaw.

“How is she Ms. Shaw?” Finch asked in his usually worried tone. 

“I don't know they wont tell me anything… also apparently I am her wife” Shaw said as she finally slumped down into one of the uncomfortable chairs the hospital provided. Then she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. When she pulled it up she could only see the blocked number and just knew that it was from The Machine. 

“Analog interface always keeps that ID on her when she is between identities.” The text said. 

“Why?’ does she not realize that making herself my wife is creepy as fuck?’” Shaw said into her phone. 

“Analog interface did this to assure that you would always be contacted incase anything happened to her. You are also her emergency contact” the second text said. 

Shaw let out a breath. That was so typically Root. Then something hit her, something she had to ask. So she got out of the chair and walked out of earshot of the boys before asking. 

“So what is Samantha Shaw’s maiden name?’ who did I marry?” 

A few second passed, as if The Machine was considering not answering before the third text came. 

“Samantha Winifred Shaw’s maiden name was Samantha Winifred Groves. Analog interface used her original identity for this, to make one permanent identity. One real identity.” 

Shaw could feel her chest tighten like all the air had been sucked out of it. Root had used her real name for this. Even if the marriage certificate was a fake Shaw was in essence married to a real person. Root who hated her given name, Root who claimed that Sam Groves was dead had still chosen to make this real. Shaw was so lost in thought that she didn't even notice John coming up behind her before he touched her shoulder. 

“Shaw?’ is everything okay?” he asked her. 

“No it is not. Because that thing send Root out there without any back up she is now having brain surgery” Shaw said in a hurried angry tone. 

“No one could predict that he would push her off the roof Shaw” 

“It is supposed to be able to” 

John didn't know what to say. Shaw was right Root trusted so deeply in The Machine and in return it did not let her down but this time it had and Root paid the price for her blind trust.

“How about I go get us some food?” he offered, hoping to take her mind off all this at least a little. 

“No thanks, I’m not hungry” was the reply he got. That worried John more that anything. Shaw was never ‘not hungry’ so this must really touch her more than she lets on. 

They sat there for hours. After Shaw being non-responsive for 2 hours both John and Harold had given up on having a conversation with her and were talking among them selves. 

9 hours later a doctor came in and asked for Mrs. Shaw. Shaw jumped up and out of the chair. If the situation wasn't so serious it would have been almost fun to see. 

John and Harold sat in the background and listened to the doctor explain to Shaw that there had been a huge fracture in Roots scull and that her brain had swelled. Due to the fracture they were reluctant to drill and relief the pressure fearing that they would fracture more of the fragile scull if they did. But in the end they had relieved the pressure and the swelling had gone down a bit. But Shaw knew that with swelling in the brain it was more of a ‘if she wakes up’ than when. Root had been taken to the ICU and was being kept there on a ventilator. Shaw was the only one allowed to see her. 

Shaw camped out in Roots room for a week. She had scared the nurses into letting her stay. They even gave her a bed and everything. Shaw refused to deal with any numbers while Root was in a coma, giving John, Finch and Lionel a lot of extra work as 2 of the most efficient team members were out of the game. 

The Machine had informed Shaw that Root wished to be an organ donor but had never gotten around to filling out the paper work… therefor leaving Shaw with the final decision. 

Shaw had refused to take her of the ventilator. 'Root is a fighter' she said 'and she better not leave me with only the guys for company'. That had been the end of that discussion. 

On the 8th day of Root’s coma Shaw had been reading a gun magazine when she heard a choking sound coming from the bed. Root was awake. 

“Hey it’s okay. You are intubated don't fight it I will remove it now” She said in a surprisingly soft tone before raising her voice and calling for the nurses. 

The nurses and the doctors flew in and did their test. And while she passed the physical aspect she had yet to say a word. 

“Root do you know where you are?’ do you know who I am?” Shaw had once read that when conducting these tests it was important to only ask one question at the time but she shouldn't help herself. 

“No” Came a cracked unsure voice 

“No you don't know where you are?’ or no you don't know who I am?” Shaw asked dreading the answer. 

Root looked down at her hands. Sitting there on the bed she looked so small, so unRoot. 

“Both” she almost whispered before looking Shaw in the eyes, her usual twinkle replaced with uncertainty and fright. 

“Who are you?” she asked and Shaw felt like something broke inside her. How dare she make her care so much about her and then have the audacity to not remember her? Before Shaw knew what was happening she felt herself walk out of the room away from the hospital.  
It wasn't until she reached the Subway that she realized. 1 she had left Root there and 2 Root had no idea who she was anymore.


	2. Do we lie?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But if she doesn't remember that, then the person in that hospital bed is by definition not ‘Root’ she is Samantha Groves.

“Shaw what are you doing here… wait did you leave Root at the hospital?” John asked as she entered. 

Shaw ignored his questions and said 

“We have a problem… Root doesn't remember anything. The Machine showed me her MRI. I would say that there is properly a 50% chance that she never regains her memories, 40% chance that she regains some of them and a 10% chance that she regains all of them” while she was talking she walked over to the couch and sat down rubbing her face with both hands. 

“I hate to say it Miss Shaw but this is not OUR decision… she named you next of kin and by ‘marrying’ you she left these kind of decisions up to you. So the question is’ what do you want to do?’” Finch asked from his station. 

Shaw let out a humorless laugh. “You don't want to know what I want to do,” she said 

“Shaw” said John as he sat down next to her. 

“Tomorrow I will go and find out exactly what she remembers… but if she doesn't remember anything I- I think we should let her stay as Samantha.” 

“’Stay as Samantha’ how?” Asked Finch. 

“From what you told me Root became Root after Hanna was taken and killed. But if she doesn't remember that, then the person in that hospital bed is by definition not ‘Root’ she is Samantha Groves, well Samantha Shaw now, who never killed anyone, who never ran away from home at 14. She has a second chance and I think we should give it to her” Shaw said refusing to look at any of them.

“But Miss Groves is vital to the missions, we cant jus-“ Finch began but was interrupted by two voices. 

“She has more that done her duty Finch” Shaw said just as Root’s voice came from the speakers of Johns phone on the table. 

“I Agree with Shaw” 

“Is that you?’ are you using Miss Groves voice?’” Harold asked 

“Yes Harold. Root allowed me to use her voice if I ever needed one and I can mimic her speech patterns with over 90% accuracy” 

“Okay just one question before you go on. Do you use Root’s own voice when you talk to her?” Shaw asked curiously. 

“Yes when I talk to Root I use her own voice” 

“So she hears the sound of her own voice the entire day?” Shaw asked again. 

“I do not see how this is relevant Shaw” Answered The Machine. 

“Never mind, you said you agree with Miss Shaw why?” asked Finch. 

“Well you see Harold, Root has once expressed her desire to completely start over and this is her chance. Shaw I have set up an apartment for you and Root with two deep and permanent identities.” 

“So who am I, permanently?” Shaw asked

Then the computer screen went on and showed:  
Sameen Shaw  
Born January 10th 1980  
Education: High school, New York University, Weill Cornell Medical College, Marine Corps.  
Work history: MD-Unfinished. Marines. Private security.  
Current Occupation: Detective in the organized crime’s division.  
Marital status: Married to Samantha W Shaw. 

And. 

Samantha Winifred Shaw nee. Groves  
Born December 5th 1979  
Education: High school, Massachusetts Institute of Technology  
Work history:Wolfram & Hart (Tech support), Thornhill Corporation  
Current Occupation: INF, inc. Manager/Tech Developer  
Marital status: Married to Sameen Shaw. 

“Wait I thought there was more than a month between Root and I” Shaw said as she was going over both of their identities 

“When she was in her 20’s Root stated lying herself a little older to be taken seriously. So she changed her birth year from 1979 to 1976” The Machine replied still using Root’s voice. 

“Now that you know the basics you can visit her in the morning” continued The Machine

“Just one thing, how do I explain all of her scars?’ and her being deaf on one ear?” Shaw asked. 

“I have created reports of a car crash a few years back, resulting in both her scars and her deafness. I will refrain from talking to her for the time being… I don't want her to think she is hearing voices.” And they all agreed with The Machine on that one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr if you wish at Worldclassbeauty.tumblr.com


	3. Who you are... to me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Nothing… it’s just… I can’t believe I married a woman. I thought that was a phase.” Root said with a slight blush.

Shaw didn't sleep all night. She had gone to the apartment that The Machine had sat up for them and honestly it was a pretty nice place. 

I was a two-bedroom light and airy apartment, but not out of the price range for a Manager and a Detective. 

It did freak her out a little… okay a lot that there were pictures of them all over especially because most of the weren’t fake, apparently they just sat really close normally and in some of the pictures Shaw even smiled. 

But the worse of them was the wedding photo hanging above the bed Shaw was currently laying on. 

It was a fake of course but it looked so real! They were embracing in front of a field. Shaw was in a white suit, black stilettos and her hair up in some kind of bun. But Root… Holy Fuck Root was beautiful! In a simple white lacy dress, very light make up and her hair down. And Shaw wondered how the hell The Machine was able to create something like that. 

Morning came to quickly and Shaw knew she would have to face the music, or well face Root. 

So she got up showered and found to her, well not really surprise anymore, that her favorite products were all lined up on the bottom shelve of cabinet and that out of the two dressers the left one had all of her old clothes and some new ones in it. 

On her way out she grabbed a bagel and a coffee at the nearest café. 

The taxi ride to the hospital seemed to take forever and I gave Shaw a lot of time to thing about what to do with Root, what to say. 

When she arrived and asked about Samantha Shaw she was told that she had been moved out of the ICU and into room 509, a private room. 

Shaw took her time walking to the room counting the lines in the floor until there were no more lines and she had reached the door. She stood there for a few seconds before opening the door.

“Hey stranger” She heard a sweet voice say. She didn't notice yesterday but Root’s voice had more of an accent to it now. Not a full on drawl but heavier than it would be normally.

“Hey um sorry about yesterday” Shaw said looking down at her hands. 

“You know they keep calling me Mrs. Shaw and seeing as you were there when I woke up-“ Root pointed at Shaw’s forgotten wallet on the table next to her “- also based on the fact that your name is Sameen Shaw. I assume that you are my wife” Root half asked half stated. 

Shaw could do nothing but nod, she both was and wasn't. 

“So tell me what is the last thing you remember?” Shaw asked now standing next to the bed. 

Root let out a little huff. 

“The Doctor asked me that too. But you see there is no specific thing. No last memory before it went blank. I remember who I am, who my mother is, I know where I am from, I know I am in New York I know that the year is 2016 and I have worked out that I am married to you-“

Root turned on the bed so she was now lying on her left side facing a now sitting Shaw.

“- But I don't remember High School, I don't know whether or not I went to college, what my job is, where we live, why I am not wearing a wedding ring or whether or not we have any children- I hope we do, I have always wanted kids.” 

Shaw swallowed hard at Root- no Samantha’s little admission. 

“Well maybe I can fill in the blanks. Don't worry about High School you told me nothing much happened. You did go to college you got into MIT on an academic scholarship. You currently work for a Tech company called INF where you are the daily manager. You are not wearing a ring because I lost mine and we decided to get new ones anyway also no we don't have any children.” Shaw said watching the emotions play out on Ro-Samantha’s face. From joy and pride to sadness. 

Shaw didn't know what possessed her to say what slipped out of her mouth next and as soon as she said it she regretted it.

“But we are trying” 

The unfiltered joy that poured out or Root was almost blinding. 

Was this Samantha or had Root actually wanted kids? Shaw thought. 

The more they talked that morning the more Shaw realized that this woman was not her Root…No wait was not Root in general. This was Samantha the person who became Root. 

“Do you remember your friend Hanna?” Shaw couldn't help but ask as they were nearing lunchtime 

“ Yeah I do. She was my best friend in middle school. Why?” Root replied with a smile. 

“Oh just wondering. You said you had a falling out after High School I think you said it was about college” Shaw lied. 

“Oh that is too bad… she really meant the world to me… but I guess I have you now.” Root said as she reached for Shaw’s hand. Shaw let her lace their fingers together. 

By the time visiting hours were over and the nurses threaten to call security on her they had managed to cover most of the bases. 

Like where they lived, how they met… Shaw thought she was going to puke as she explained that they had met when they were 27. She had been a street cop and Samantha, who had been Tech support for Wolfram & Hart at the time, was reporting a client for harassment. It was love at first sight. 

Though Shaw did find it a little amusing that Samantha had the same reaction as Root to seeing her badge. The 4 quick blinks in a row and biting of the lower lip… she was slightly turned on by it. 

As Shaw was gathering her things she felt Root’s eyes on her. 

“What?” She questioned. 

“Nothing… it’s just… I can’t believe I married a woman. I thought that was a phase.” Root said with a slight blush.

Shaw eyes widened how was she supposed to respond to that? She cleared her throat 

“Eh I’ll see you tomorrow” She said before closing the door to the hospital room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr if you wish at Worldclassbeauty.tumblr.com


	4. Happy waifu, Happy lifu Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Unless you want me to admit her to psych..."

“Mrs. Shaw”

“It’s Doctor”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s Doctor Shaw” Shaw said to Doctor Evens, who had saved Root’s life. 

“Okay then, Dr. Shaw we have kept your wife here for almost 2 weeks now. She is healthy and we need the bed. As a doctor you must know this!” Said Dr. Evens in a distraught voice. 

“Healthy? She cant remember anything after middle School!’ how do you call that ‘healthy?’” Shaw asked heatedly.

“Dr. Shaw unless you want me to admit her to psych there is nothing I can do. She is getting discharged at noon.” Almost as if it was planed his pager went off and he had to go, he ran. 

Shaw did consider having her admitted. But no even she wasn't that cruel. 

So Shaw had no choice but to take her hom- back to the apartment. 

When she opened the door she was in awe of Root’s reaction to the place. Her eyes got so wide and her eyes lit up at she explored the two-bedroom. 

“Are you hungry?” Shaw called from the kitchen while Root was exploring. They got kicked out of the hospital before lunch. 

“I could eat the balls of a low flying duck” came the reply from somewhere in the apartment and what the fuck did that even mean? She took it as a ‘yes.’

After having seen it all she returned to Shaw who as making lunch in the kitchen. 

“Is this really ours?’ do we really live here?” She asked and what a weird question it was of course they did. 

“Yeah it is. Why?” Shaw replied never taking her eyes of the sandwiches. 

Root came up to Shaw and hopped up to sit on the counter as she snatched a slice of cucumber from Shaw she said in a quiet tone. 

“Mama always said that I would never amount to anything. That by 30 I would be;at best a drug addict and at worse I would be 6 feet under. But look at me now! I am married to a beautiful woman and I live in New York City… I never even thought I would get out of Bishop let alone Texas.” 

Before Shaw could even think of a reply the radio, which was on a low setting playing pop, changed both volume and song. No doubt The Machine’s doing. 

“Oh my God this is my song” Root said as she jumped down from the counter and swayed her hips while singing. 

“I'm gonna take you to a  
Special place that nobody knows  
Baby get ready, ooh” 

She grabbed on to Shaw turning her slowly in pace with the song. When Shaw was facing her she grabbed her hips and swayed them together. 

“You and me going fishing in the dark,  
Lying on our backs and counting the stars  
Where the cool grass grows  
Down by the river in the full moon light,  
We'll be fallin' in love in the middle of the night  
Just movin' slow” 

”You do realize that I am standing with a knife right?” Shaw asked, the knife in question held in her right hand sticking up between them. 

Root smiled “I know you would never hurt me Sameen” and for a second Shaw thought that Root might be faking all of this in some creepy attempt to play house with Shaw. 

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

While they were eating Shaw asked. 

“So why Winifred?” 

Root looked up from her food and said 

“Well if I didn't tell you then I am not sure I should tell you now” 

“Root” 

“Why do you keep calling me that? My name is Samantha… so most people call me ‘Sam’ or Sammy’” Root questioned. 

“First of all I am not most people. Second of all we cant both be ‘Sam’ now can we? So I call you by your nickname ‘Root’” Shaw explained, “You told me it had something to do with computers” 

Root nodded, taking in the information. After a few seconds she said. 

“Growing up my mother had an older sister. She died when my mom was 9, killed in an accident involving a cow… her name was Winifred.” Root said. 

The rest of the day progressed pretty normally… well as normal as having an amnesiac fake wife can be. 

After dinner, take out because Shaw had cooked enough for one day. They were watching Game Of Thrones on HBO, from season 1 because Root didn't remember it. 

And Shaw noticed something about Root. When the characters got hurt or killed she smiled. Not her normal smile but the same smile she had when she had threatened her with the Iron. She liked the violence… maybe Samantha wasn't as innocent as Shaw had thought… maybe it had always been there and the thing with Hanna just pushed her over the edge.


	5. Happy waifu, Happy lifu Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping the wife happy :D

“You have to help me! I can’t keep babysitting my ‘wife’” Shaw sneered into the phone. 

“Shaw the instructions were clear. Until Root regains her memories you have to stay with her,” John said for the 100th time. 

With both Root and Shaw out of the game things were tight in the numbers department, but hearing Shaw’s frustration over having to spent every waken moment with Root was so worth it. 

“If you don't let me shoot something soon I will shoot her... she is joyful and she wears denim John! Denim and plaid” Shaw whispered, she was in the kitchen and Root was sitting on the couch with a laptop.

“Oh would you look at that 6 hostiles with semi’s, I have to go” John replied way to gleefully.

“John, John?” great he was no fucking help. 

“Who is John?” Root asked looking op from the laptop.

Shaw looked over at the couch. How much had Root heard? 

“John is my colleague and friend. Work has given my leave since you had your accident, they want me to take care of you” Shaw said. 

“And you don't want to take care of me” Root said with a pout but Shaw could see the smile in her eyes. 

“Sameen would you come over here for a second?” Root asked while sitting up and placing the laptop on the coffee table with the screen tilted down a bit. 

Shaw got up and walked over to the couch after a few seconds of hesitation she sat down next to Root. 

“I need you to kiss me,” Root stated

“What?” Shaw replied. 

“We are married Sameen. And it has been weeks since the accident and you haven’t touched me once… so I think you should kiss me” Root said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.  
But kissing Root would mean that she would have to stop talking, also kissing Root was reason enough on its own. 

So Shaw leaned in at placed her lips gently on Root’s. She didn't know what she was expecting to happen but it felt like normal. It felt like warmth and safety and appreciation… everything kissing Root always felt like. 

She was a little surprised when Root broke the kiss right away and pulled back. 

“Is everything okay?” Shaw asked a little hurt that Root who wanted to kiss her acted this way now.

“I saw us… we were making love in- in some sort of alley but we were interrupted by some guy and you kissed me really gently before walking over to him” Root said completely shocked.

Shaw almost cringed at use of ‘making love.’ They had been fucking in that alley before the guy trying to kill their number interrupted them. And yes Shaw had kissed Root gently but she also shot that guy in both knees… so she maintained her badass-ness. But most importantly Root had remembered something, even a little bit, meaning that she was capable of regaining at least some mem- 

Root throwing herself at her interrupted Shaw’s thoughts 

But Shaw retaliated and soon had Root lying on the couch with Shaw on top of her. They were making out and dry humping like teenagers. 

Shaw opened her eyes and moved her head to kiss down Root’s neck when she caught a glimpse of the computer screen and froze. 

New York Fertility Service: Fertility options for lesbian couples. 

Shaw shot up and grabbed the laptop before Root could react. 

“You said we had been trying, but there are no pamphlets or anything in the apartment so I thought I would check it out” Root explained now sitting up on the couch 

“But didn't you think that you having amnesia meant that this would be put off a bit?” Shaw asked getting angry. Not at Root but at herself, if only she hadn’t made that one comment. 

“Sameen, Darlin’ we are 35 and not getting any younger. I may never fully recover from this and I really want children… and I think I want them with you” Root said her eyes shining.

Shaw sighed; maybe she could drag this out till she had her Root back. 

“Okay but we are doing this slowly and taking your health into consideration,” Shaw said and of course that backfired 

“Great I’ve booked us an appointment next Friday… and who said I would be carrying” Root shot her a devious look. 

No absolutely not! that is where Shaw draws her line. So she leaned down into Root’s face, looking her straight in the eyes before saying. 

“Oh no Honey. I am not getting pregnant… If you want a baby you use your own womb” 

Then she saw the smirk and for the second time she was convicted that Root was faking. 

“That was just what I wanted to hear Darlin’” She said “Also I love it when you get bossy like that” 

That little bitch had manipulated her. She had wanted to carry the baby all along and just needed Shaw to refuse. 

Maybe the line between Samantha and Root really was thinner than she thought. 

She shook her head and looked at the text John had sent her while they had been making out. 

“Remember Shaw ‘Happy wife, Happy life’” 

She was going to murder him.


	6. The Doctor will see you now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I used the laptop to look for her and-“ tears welled up in Roots eyes again. “-She is dead!”

   
Under the guise of doing some paperwork at the station Shaw had managed to get out of the apartment without Root for the first time in 6 weeks, yeah 6… she has spent 2 weeks in the hospital and a month at home.

At this point every little thing Root did was driving her mad. And it was everything from her oral fixation with pens to her light tapping on everything that drove Shaw crazy. So The Machine had arranged an easy number for her, just to let out some steam. 

The number had been an easy one, some 17 year old wannabe gangster thinking that he would get more “street cred” if he shot his math teacher. The idiot was with social services now.

Shaw was less angry when she returned ho-to the apartment but that only lasted so long.  
When she entered everything was quiet, usually Root liked background noise but nothing was on in the apartment. Shaw pulled out her gun and called.

“Root are you here?” but no reply came

Then she heard the soft crying in the bathroom she hurried in there. Gun still drawn. 

“Root are you okay?’ What happened?” she asked as she holstered her gun after seeing that Root was alone in there. 

“I-“ whatever Root tried to say got lost in a sob. 

Oh fucking god now she was full on sobbing. 

Shaw had no choice. She walked over to Root who was sitting in the empty bathtub and got in behind her and hugged her. Shaw didn't know how long she sat there just holding on to Root but her stomach started growling making Root laugh a little. 

“We better get up, I think my wife needs feeding” She tried to joke, but the tears were still fresh in her eyes. 

 

Shaw didn't push her to talk, knowing Root she would begin any minute now. But she didn't. They made dinner in silence and ate in silence. Once Root was done cleaning up and sat down in the other end of the couch Shaw couldn't take it any longer. 

“Are you really okay Root?’ you know you can tell me anything right?’” Shaw asked pausing the movie they were watching. 

“ You are so sweet Darlin’ but yeah I’m okay” Root answered

“Root” Shaw was giving her The Stern Look and Root let out a sigh.

“I used the laptop to look for her and-“ tears welled up in Roots eyes again. “-She is dead!” now she was full on sobbing again and Shaw froze. Oh fuck Root had looked for Hanna. It had all been for nothing. She would revert back. Shaw has wasted her time. Did this mean Root would breakdown completely? 

In Shaw’s panic she didn't hear a word of what Root was saying until she caught the word “Mother” in one of Root’s sentences and tuned back in. 

“I mean she was never good to me and I don't owe her anything but… I don't think I went to the funeral. She died while waiting for a kidney and I don't even think I got tested to see if I was a match.” Root said the sobbing and hiccup making her almost impossible to understand. 

But ‘thank god’ Shaw thought. Root had ever mentioned her mother but Samantha hadn’t had the time to detach the same way Root had. 

“Come on” Shaw was turning off the TV and pulling Root off of the couch. “We are going to bed” 

Root too drained from crying barely had the power to get undressed so Shaw pulled off the open plaid shirt, the white t-shirt and unbuttoned and stripped of the blue denim jeans. God she dressed like a cliché southerner. 

Once Root was in her underwear Shaw grabbed a shirt off the dresser only noticing that it was her ‘Marines’ shirt once Root was wearing it. And fuck if she didn't look hot. 

Once she had gotten Root into bed she stripped down her self and joined her under the covers. 

“Thank you for everything Darlin’” Root whispered. 

“Sweetie” Shaw corrected 

“Sorry?” 

“You used to call me ‘Sweetie’ not ‘Darling’” Shaw replied

“Oh well… I will make you a deal Sameen. When I remember, really remember, more that just doing it in an alleyway. I will call you ‘Sweetie’ again okay?” Root said with at tired smile. 

“Okay Root” Shaw said before closing her eyes and falling asleep. 

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

The next morning was the day of their new appointment, the last one had been moved due to ‘overbooking’(Shaw had asked The Machine to cancel it) 

And God was Root fretting. She had changed clothes four times before finally settling on the first outfit anyway, which was a baby blue knee-length dress with long sleeves. And yes she looked amazing. 

Shaw herself was wearing her typical black jeans, black tank-top and a grey blazer, at Roots insistence. 

“What if they don't like me?’ what if they ask about the amnesia… Oh no what if they wont do the insemination because of the amnesia,” Root asked as they were leaving the apartment. 

And might actually be a good idea. Maybe Shaw could bribe them to not actually get Root pregnant… that is an option worth looking into Shaw thought. 

“Don't worry so much the first appointment is just a talk and information one” was the only comfort Shaw gave the very nervous Root. 

They got there way too early, like 45 minutes and decided to take a short walk in the nearby park. 

 

“Oh Sameen look-” Root said gleefully and pointed at the ducks swimming in the pond “-we should have brought bread to feed them with” 

“Bread isn’t actually healthy for ducks” was Shaw’s only reply. God how she wanted to shoot them. 

“Don't be such a sourpuss Sameen” Root said slipping her hand into Shaw’s and resting her head on her shoulder, it was a little awkward do to the height difference but she made it work. 

And to Shaw’s surprise she didn't actually hate it… until of course. 

“Dykes!” Came a shout from a passer by. 

Shaw’s hand went for her gun on instinct. Someone was loosing their kneecap. 

But Root’s hand over hers stopped her. 

“Ignore him Darlin’ he isn’t worth it” she said with a soft smile, the kind Shaw had found was reserved for her. 

“Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. People like him need to be put in their place.” Shaw said firmly. 

“People like him will never learn Sameen. He will always be disgusted by things that he can’t understand; like Homos and algebra. You cannot change that, just like my great grandmother would be disgusted if she was made to eat next to a colored person. The only way to change that is with the next generation” Root explained and tugged on Shaw’s hand. “Now come on we don't want to be late” 

“Bye Duckies” Root said with a silly over the shoulder wave back at the pond. 

“You really love ducks don't you?” Shaw finally asked as they took a seat in the waiting room a the clinic. 

“I do”

“You should watch Duck Dynasty then” Shaw said trying to hide her smirk.

“Is it about ducks?” Root asked obliviously 

“In a way” Shaw said relying on her training to keep from smiling at the stupid confused expression on Root’s face. 

Root was about to say something but was interrupted by voice. 

 

“Mrs. and Mrs. Shaw? The Doctor will see you now”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of you may recognize the Liberal Redneck quotes :D


	7. when a man and a woman love each other very much...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when Shaw was starting to think that Skynet wasn't complete garbage, it did this!

‘Mrs. Shaw’ Shaw still hadn’t gotten used to that. She had been called a lot of names throughout her career but never Mrs. Shaw. For her that had always been her mother and Shaw had never wanted to get married or thought that she would. So she never expected to be called Mrs. Shaw. 

“Hello my name is Doctor Eliza Heern I will be preforming and overseeing your treatment” the doctor said with a way too big smile as she shook first Root’s hand then Shaw’s.

As they sat down she offered them refreshments, which they both refused. Shaw had been trained in not leaving DNA and Root was simply too nervous to eat. 

“Now first things first which one of you, if not both, will be getting pregnant” Dr. Heern asked as she started writing down on a notepad. 

Shaw wordlessly pointed at Root. At the same time Root said 

“Me, I will be the one to carry” 

Dr. Heern didn't say anything she just nodded. 

“I have received all of you information digitally along with enough payment that you can freely choose any donor with any Motility, eh sperm count, you wish. So all you have to do right now is to take home some binders and choose a donor,” Dr. Heern said with a smile 

Wait a second. Root hadn’t paid and neither had Shaw that only left… that fucking traitor! Just when Shaw was starting to think that Skynet wasn't complete garbage, it did this! Just proves that Root is its number 1 concern… well Root and saving the world. 

“Once you have selected a donor you contact us with the registration number and we will book a time for your insemination Mrs. Shaw-” Dr. Heern said and then got up from her chair and unlocked the cabinets holding all the binders. “- Just a few things before you can leave” 

“Ethnicity; African, Asian, Caucasian, Hispanic or Middle Eastern” The Doctor asked them

Shaw hadn’t even thought about this. But Root answered without missing a beat. 

“Middle Eastern, like my wife” 

The cabinets were apparently arranged according to color because Dr. Heern walked over to the left of it, her hand hovering over two binders. 

“Great now just one last thing; Anonymous or Non- Anonymous” She asked. 

This time Root looked at Shaw for an answer. And that was a shit position to put her in, it was Root who wanted this baby. 

“Anonymous” Shaw finally answered after what felt like forever. Even if it was Anonymous The Machine would be able to find the donor anyway so no worries there. 

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

“But Sameen he plays the guitar” Root whined as Shaw shot down her 5th suggestion. 

They had been drinking wine since that came home so they were both a little tipsy and it wasn't that Shaw cared or anything. She just didn't want thei- Root’s baby to end up being a loser. 

They had divided the binder into two piles and were taking turns finding candidates.

“This one” Shaw said and read the page out loud. 

“ ’Dave’ 30 years old. Single. No children. ‘Dave’ is a non-smoker who spends his free time playing hockey. He is an NRA firearm instructor… with a PhD in biomechanical engineering” Shaw said knowing that that would have Root hooked. 

And by the look on Root’s face she was right. Root grabbed the page from her hand and looked it over, cooing at the baby picture of ‘Dave’ that was attached. 

“I think we just chose our donor” Root said before leaning down to kiss Shaw.

“Already?’ don't you want to think about it or look the over the rest?” Shaw said looking at the two piles of donors they still hadn’t looked at. 

“No, this is the one I can feel it… Thank you Sameen I mean it” Root said getting that look in her eyes. 

“Your welcome, as long as I wont be the one to get pregnant.” Shaw said lightly. 

“No I really mean it. You have made me so happy, and I know that with your Axis II it is difficult for you to care, and I don't want or need you to change, but you try and when you do it makes me so happy.” Root said with tears shining in her eyes. 

“How did you know about my Axis II?’ I haven’t told you” Shaw asked.

“I’m not sure, I just know” Root shrugged like remembering a fundamental thing about your wife- fake wife, was no big deal. 

Shaw didn't know what came over her but she leaned forward and caught Root’s lips in a hungry kiss. 

They kissed ferociously as they stripped each other and made their way to the bedroom. 

Once they were both in the room Shaw undid Root’s bra and pushed her down on the bed. She kissed, licked and bit her way down the body that she knew so well. She was about to pull down Root’s blue thong before Root stopped her. She looked up to find Root blushing all the way down her face to her chest.

“Sameen I’ve never done this before” Root said in a shy voice. 

First of all hot as hell. Second of all…

“That's not true, trust me we used to do this almost everyday” Shaw replied but still removed her hands from Root’s underwear. 

“Maybe, but I don't remember… my body really wants to, but my brain doesn’t remember ever actually... you know... Doing IT” Root said blushing even redder. 

And then it hit Shaw ‘oh shit my wife is a virgin.’


	8. Forget-me-nots: a flower by any other name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well that is definitely blackmail material.” Shaw said as she put her phone on the dashboard.
> 
> or 
> 
> Shaw goes to work.

“You seem a bit frustrated Shaw, a bit sexually frustrated maybe?’” John smirked. They were on a stakeout. Their number was working. 

“Shut the fuck up! I should never have told you that,” Shaw grumbled angrily. 

John let out a little laugh. “Properly not… but you did anyways” 

Shaw wanted to shoot him, but that would mean that she had to let go of her sandwich and that was a sacrifice she was unwilling to make. 

At hom- at home she and Root had fallen into a sort of domestic routine. Shaw would get up at 7 and shower while Root got up and made breakfast. 

After they ate Shaw got dressed and Root made lunch for her to take with her. Shaw had convinced The Machine to let her deal with the ‘day job’ numbers while Root thought she was at work. And if anyone at the station asked Detective Shaw was working undercover. It was perfect. 

“I am gonna do something I’ve never done before, I am going to let you have a bite of this” Shaw said turning her sandwich towards John. 

John looked at her suspiciously before taking a bite and holy hell that was the best thing he had ever put in his mouth. 

As Shaw saw his eyes widen at the taste she smirked. 

“I know. And you are never going to taste it again” she said. 

At that moment John was convinced that Shaw really was the Devil. 

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

There was a knock on the door causing Root to jump up from the couch where she had watching Netflix.

“Just a second” Root called as she went to open the door. 

“Hello, how may I help you?” Root asked the man on the other side of the door holding a bouquet of Forget-me-nots.

“Hey Nutella, my name is Lionel Fusco I work with Shaw” He said smiling 

“Oh hello, I guess I don't have to introduce myself… so how can I help you?” Root asked returning the smile 

“I just wanted to see how you were doing. I heard about the accident” 

“And you brought Forget-me-nots?’ I like a man with humor… I was about to make lunch and I hate eating alone, do you want to join me?” Lionel had never heard her speak in such a sweet voice before and was completely stunned. He could only nod. 

“Are you on duty Detective Fusco, or can I tempt you with a beer?” Root asked as she walked over to the refrigerator. 

“Sadly I am still on duty, so no beer for me” he said and sat down on one of the two chairs at the in kitchen-dining table. 

“That's fine. How about some freshly made lemonade?” Root said as she pulled out a large glass can. 

“Yes please” 

They talked loosely, Lionel trying not to reveal too much, until Root heard it, and went to turn the radio up. 

”…Tryin' to pour a little sugar in her Dixie cup  
Talkin' over the speakers in the back of that truck  
She jumped up and cut me off

She was like, "Oh, my God, this is my song.  
I've been listenin' to the radio all night long.  
Sittin' 'round, waitin' for it to come on and here it is."  
She was like, "Come here boy, I wanna dance."  
'Fore I said a word she was takin' my hand  
Spinnin' me around 'til it faded out  
And she gave me a kiss  
And she said, "Play it again, play it again, play it again."  
And I said, "Play it again, play it again, play it again."

Root sang and went over to Lionel, took his hand and pulled him up.

“Come on, I’m gonna teach you how to Country Swing” she said with an excited smile. 

Oh no what had he gotten him self into. 

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Shaw and John were still in the car when Shaw’s phone vibrated and then played footage from the surveillance cameras Shaw had placed in the apartment. 

Shaw laughed, actually laughed as she showed John the live footage of Root teaching Fusco how to dance. 

“Well that is definitely blackmail material.” Shaw said as she put her phone on the dashboard. 

Then John turned to face her with a serious look.

“What are your plans really with Root?” He asked 

Shaw took a deep breath and looked straight ahead, not wanting to look at John. 

“I don't know, there is so much Root in Samantha that it seems impossible to separate them. But how do you tell someone that they used to kill people for a living, but now only maim them in the name of an AI with a God complex?” Shaw asked 

She saw John nodding and continued. 

“But the truth is I lik- yes like them both. I like the joyful and innocent Samantha, but it sucks to not hear Root’s unrelenting come-ons and innuendoes. So right now I think I’m just waiting for her to remember who she is” she said her face emotionless but her words betraying her. 

“But what if that waiting involves you and her actually having a baby together” John asked a bit concerned. 

“I never wanted any of this and I cant promise that I’ll be good at it or anything but if Root gets pregnant before regaining her memories I will stand by her whatever she chooses to do… as long as it makes her happy” while she was speaking Shaw has pulled out her gun, to feel les sappy. 

“Wow Shaw, she really got to you huh?’ you are going soft” he joked.

Shaw pushed the gun into his side, safety still on, and said 

“Say that again I dare you” 

when John put his hands up and apologized she put her gun down and whispered to herself. 

“It’s not that, it’s just I miss my Root”


	9. Big Strong Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The more you struggle the more oxygen you loose” Root said in that cold voice that she usually only used when their number was the perp.

Now this was a party. 

They had been cleaning up after dinner and Shaw had no idea what came over Root but now she was sitting on the counter with Root standing between her legs, aggressively kissing her.

This was going somewhere. She might actually get laid tonight.

Shaw reached down and pulled up Root’s t-shirt, she had finally gotten Root to stop wearing the flannel shirts. Once it was off she brought her hands up to the blue bra and squeezed the breasts. 

Ding Dong --- Ding Dong --- Ding Dong 

AGGH God dammit. 

Shaw picked up Root’s shirt and passed it to her. 

“I’m coming!” She yelled. Not in the fun way. 

Shaw opened the door and saw John standing there with Bear. 

“This better be good” Shaw said angrily.

“I am going out of town for a few days and need someone to watch Be-“ he began to say but was cut off by Root. 

“Bear” She called and he ran straight to her, she sat down and began petting him. 

“You remember Bear?” Shaw asked, both of them watching her play with the door. 

“Who could ever forget bear?” Root laughed as she was pushed to the floor by the dog, which kept licking her face. 

Once she had pushed Bear off of her she stood up and looked at John

“I feel like I remember you,” She said reaching to touch his face 

“Him?’ you remember him but not me?’” Shaw asked 

Root laughed, “Are you jealous Sameen? Besides it is not like that. It’s just when is saw him I was reminded of the song ‘Big Strong Man’… you know ‘He was my brother Sylvest" 

“Really that’s the song you connect to me?” John asked but couldn't help the small smile on his lips. 

“Yes, I mean you are a big strong man” Root answered back, her and on his cheek.

“But I am not your brother” He said, keeping still as Root stroked her fingers along his hairline and the side of his face. 

“Really?’ because I swear it feels like it” She said, continuing when she saw the confused looks on his and Shaw’s faces. 

“When I look at you I feel a sense of admiration, affection, competiveness and a little bit of disappointment… and are those not the feeling of a sibling?’” Root asked with a knowing smile on her face. 

“So you think me your brother?” He asked, surprisingly okay with this.

“As good as” she replied, removing her hand.

Shaw cleared her throat to get their attention and said. 

“Well now that we got it covered, that you think John is your brother, he should leave so we can get back to what we were doing” 

“And what were you doing?” John asked with a smirk at the same time Root asked. 

“No, why don't you have a glass of wine and some Fruit Salad?” 

John didn't really want to, but simply to annoy Shaw he said yes. 

They sat and ate for three hours before John left and honestly he had a good time. Root was a wonderful hostess, even if she didn't have her full skillset yet. 

They had talked most of the evening away and it had actually been entertaining, well Root and John talked, Shaw refused to say a word the entire time, and the fact that Root ignored it proved to John that if anyone could deal with Shaw it was Root. 

By the time John had left and Root had cleaned up the kitchen, yes it was mostly Root because Shaw’s idea of ‘cleaning up’ meant throwing everything away… yes even the plates and stuff. 

It was midnight and Shaw said that she was going to take Bear for a walk.

“Wait, I want to come too” Root said as she put on her jacket and shoes. 

Shaw rolled her eyes, but waited non-the less. 

They walked around for a bit going nowhere in particular. Neither of the spoke, they didn't need to. 

They were passing an alley when they hurt grunts of pain. 

They looked at each other before heading down the alleyway, with Bear growling. 

When they got there they saw three teenagers kicking and beating an elderly homeless man. Bear barked and that got their attention. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Root yelled at the boys.

“Non of your business bitch” Thug #1 said

“Hey, watch how you speak to my wife” Shaw almost growled as she spoke. 

“Oh I’m sorry. Non of your business Dyke” He said. 

That caused Shaw to see red.

“You got 3 seconds to leave before I kick your asses all the way back to the womb” She said clenching her fists. She was going to enjoy this. 

And of course Thug # 1,2, and 3 didn't listen and started walking towards her while Root took care of the homeless man. 

Thug #1 launched at her with a fist but she sidestepped and hit him in the back of the neck with her elbow, he went down hard and face first. 

Thug #2 was much bigger and better at fighting than Thug #1 and actually managed to get a hit in on her before she kidney punched him. He went down too.

While doing that she had seen Thug #3 pick up the bat they had been using to beat the homeless man and knew that she couldn't block it in time as he swung for her head. But it never hit her. 

Shaw turned fully to see Thug #3, who was about her height, with a yellow plastic bag over his head, being forced to the ground by Root. 

“The more you struggle the more oxygen you loose” Root said in that cold voice that she usually only used when their number was the perp. 

Once Thug #3 was down Root checked his pulse, he was still alive. Then went over to look at the angry blue and purple bruise Thug #2 had left on Shaw’s cheek. 

She then swiftly turned around, walked over to Thug #2 and kicked him in the stomach before turning abound with a smile and making her way over to the homeless man who was holding Bear’s leach. 

“Hey man, are you okay?” Shaw asked as he handed her Bear’s leach

“Yes thanks to you two” He said in a small voice. 

“It’s nothing, just helping where we can” Shaw said and then looked at the man’s arm, the shirt was torn so she could see the tattoo clearly. 

“You were in the marines?” She asked, her voice kinder than before.

“Yes, a long time ago… but a bomb left me deaf and blind on the left side, so they had no more use for me” he looked down, as if her was ashamed. 

“What’s your name Sir?” Shaw asked 

“My name is Walter Garret” 

“And your rank?” 

“It doesn’t matter now” he replied 

“Your rank Soldier?” this time her voice was firmer. 

“Master Sergeant” he finally admitted. 

Before Shaw could say anything Root intervened 

“Well then Master Sergeant Garret, would you do us the honor of spending the night at our place?” She asked in that sweet voice that no one could resist, even Shaw found it difficult. 

“Oh no ma’am I couldn’t impose.” he said looking down again. 

“Sir when I left I was a Captain and believe me it would be an honor having a Master Sergeant staying with us” Shaw said and bowed her head a little to him. 

Wordlessly he nodded and packed up his stuff, Shaw helped him carry it back to the apartment. 

Once they were there Root made up the couch for him and started the washing machine with his clothes while he showered and Shaw made tea. 

Root went to bed at 3 o’clock while Shaw and Walter stayed up and shared military stories. 

At 5 in the morning Root felt Shaw slip in beside her. They laid there for a little while before Shaw moved onto her side and slipped her arm around Root’s waist. Root smiled to herself. 

As they laid there two things hit Shaw. #1 she did not get laid tonight and #2 Root had actually strangled someone till they passed out, with a plastic bag, without even flinching and had even warned that struggling would make it worse… the only conclusion was, that she was remembering more and more, and fast.


	10. Pure as the driven snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey Amy, I am looking for something sexy but elegant. I want to seduce my wife” Root said with a smile.

Root had a plan. She was going to seduce her wife.

Today Sameen would leave at 8:15, as always, and be home around 19:00, again as always. So Root was spending the day turning the apartment into a seduction haven. 

Once she had gotten Sameen out of the door her plan began. First she needed to grocery shop so she could make the perfect meal.

She did not bring Bear with her as she went to shop for that special steak Shaw liked, along with potatoes, for mashed potatoes and the ingredients for coleslaw… and candles.

Once she had gotten that done she went home again, put everything away and took Bear for a walk. 

At 12 she returned, time to go lingerie shopping. 

She went to Manhattan and found a small boutique.

“Good afternoon ma’am my name is Amy how may I help you today?” the shop assistant asked.

“Hey Amy, I am looking for something sexy but elegant. I want to seduce my wife” Root said with a smile. 

If Amy was surprised it didn't show. 

“Yes of course, we have just gotten a new collection that I think you will like” 

After an hour of trying bras and panties Root decided on a set. A white bralette with a matching white thong, Sameen would appreciate the irony. 

When she returned home the second time she put the lingerie in the bedroom and cleaned up a bit in the apartment, Bear really did shed.

At 15 she wanted to take a quick nap, but ended up goggling ‘How to seduce wife’ ‘How to seduce woman’ ‘How to loose virginity’ and ‘How to loose virginity after 30’ instead. 

It was very unhelpful and made her more nervous than she was. 

At 15:30 she started writing code for what could in theory be a working bionic eye on the laptop Shaw gave her. She lost track of time. 

At 17 she started preparing the food and left to take a shower and ‘doll herself up’ as her mother would have called it. Oh no now she was thinking about her mother while getting ready to seduce her wife. 

Root looked at herself in the mirror and damn if she didn't look hot. 

She had curled her hair and left it down. She knew that Sameen liked it down, the first week home she had wanted to cut it just above the shoulders but Sameen wouldn't let her, said that she liked it flowing down her neck like a waterfall. 

She had also put on some light make up and the lingerie. Sameen would hopefully devour her on sight. Root went into her closet and found a green skintight dress that she didn't remember buying, but knew would be perfect for this. 

At 18:19 she got the apartment ‘ready’ she lit the candles, put the massage oil in the bedroom and the scented bubble maker in the bathroom next to the tub… yes, she had a plan. 

At 18:30 she opened a bottle of red wine and set the table, the nice one in the living room. 

At 18:54 she poured a glass of whiskey, neat, for Sameen.

At 19:12 she was still waiting for Shaw.

At 19:30 she got a text: ‘ will be home late, ate at work’ 

At 20:10 Root ate by herself, and drank half a bottle of wine. 

At 20:30 she put the rest of the food in a container and cleaned up. 

At 20:49 she changed clothes, put the lingerie away and the dress back. She put on sweatpants and Shaw’s marines t-shirt, sports bra and hipsters underneath. 

At 21:25 she took Bear for a walk, they walked down to Walter and gave him the food along with a few beers. 

At 21.50 Root returned to find the apartment empty, still. 

Root took her laptop and started coding in the bed, Bear next to her, the almost finished bottle of wine on the bedside table, who needed a glass anyways.

At 00:58 Root heard the door being unlocked. But stayed in bed, where she had fallen asleep, with the dog.

Shaw turned on the lights and found Root in bed, Bear next to her and an empty wine bottle on the floor next to Root’s laptop. 

Well maybe she should have come home after all…

The next morning, a Saturday, Shaw got up at 8 and let Root sleep in. She took Bear for a walk and planed to make pancakes when she got home. 

On her walk she picked up a coffee for Walter. 

“Hey Soldier, you are quite unpopular” He smiled while accepting the coffee. 

“What do you mean?” Shaw asked confused. 

Walter laughed, almost spilling the coffee. “All I’m saying is that if I had a wife as hot as that I would get my sorry ass home when she had planned an entire evening of pampering and sex” 

“What?” Shaw asked, if she had been drinking she would have spat it out.

“Too be fair she was a little drunk when she told me, but yesterday she had spend the day buying lingerie, cooking your favorite meal, which I enjoyed. Lighting candles around the apartment, dressing up, she even bought ‘oils’ with the intention of massaging you and was going to end the night in the tub where she had bought some bubble thing” Walter explained to a Shaw who was getting paler word by word. 

“Eh sorry I have to go” She said backing away, tugging Bear with her. She could still hear Walter laughing as she left the alleyway. 

When she returned home Root was up, singing and making breakfast, not even a bit hung-over. 

“´Morning” Shaw called as she went into the kitchen. 

“Hey” Root replied, her tone colder than when she was singing. 

“Hey eh about yesterday-” Shaw began. 

“Never mind, nothing happened” Root said still not turning to look at her.

Shaw grabbed Roots arm forcing her to turn around. She pressed her body up against Root’s sliding her arms around her waist… and turning off the stove. 

“I talked to Walter, you had something planed yesterday didn't you” it wasn't a question. 

“I- it was silly Sameen, forget it” Root said with a blush, she did that a lot now Shaw noted.

“it’s not silly Root, you don't remember sex and you wanted to do it yesterday and I wasn't here… and I am sorry” Shaw said, she really meant it too. 

“It doesn’t matter Sameen, I know that I am not really a virgin. We should just do it and get it over with” Root said, embarrassment still evident in her tone. 

Then it was Shaw turn to have a plan. 

“No this is your virginity and we are doing this right. Tonight we are dressing up, going out to dinner and then spending the night at some fancy hotel where we will… make love” Shaw said, the last words hurting her teeth. 

But the look of joy on Root’s face was worth any pain. 

Root was giddy the rest of the day, much to Shaw’s dismay. 

She packed an overnight bag, for them both, while Shaw made reservations… or well The Machine did. 

 

While she showered Shaw couldn't help the small smile on her lips, she was getting laid tonight.


	11. You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That made you sound like some teenager on prom night” Root giggled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait. 
> 
>  
> 
> Due to complaints, I have changed the title of this chapter.

Root had insisted that they’d arrive separately for ‘Romance’ and being the one to arrive later Shaw didn't mind. However Root had also made Shaw drop Bear off at Johns first so that she could change and leave without Shaw seeing her, something about it being bad luck. 

When Shaw returned home she was completely alone for the first time in forever. It felt so calm and quiet but something was missing, Root letting the radio or TV play in the background while coding on the laptop, Bear’s paws hitting the floor when he walked or his light snoring. 

Shaw shook the thoughts from her head and went to take a shower. When she entered the bedroom she saw a lingerie set and a dress laying on the bed. Yeah no way she thought as she went to grab a pair of pants and a shirt from her dresser… only to find it empty. No… she went over to the closet, empty. Every place she had clothes was completely empty. She had to wear the dress. 

After getting into the black lace lingerie and the way too short navy blue dress, Shaw did her makeup but refused to do her hair. She just left it loose, Root loved that. 

She put on her heels and grabbed the black leather jacket that Root had bought for her on a mission in Italy, to stop her from stealing hers. 

The hotel The Machine had chosen was an upscale one with full room service and all. And in all honesty Shaw was looking forward to it. 

Once she arrived at the agreed upon restaurant, close to the hotel, she couldn't see Root anywhere. She checked her watch 19:16… they were supposed to meet at 19:20 but Shaw knew that Root was always early for everything. 

“Hello Ma’am how may I help you” The Hostess at the front desk asked as Shaw entered. 

“Hey ehm… I am looking for my eh- wife” Shaw said, she hated referring to Root as her wife in public- it was something personal. 

“Yes of course, the name please” the friendly Hostess. Tess from her nametag, said. 

“ Oh right. The reservations are under ‘Shaw’” Shaw replied. 

Tess checked the screen in front of her before looking up at Shaw and smiling. 

“Right this way, your wife requested to be seated in the more private area of the restaurant” Tess explained as she led Shaw through the cluster of people and to a booth hidden behind a half wall, where Root smiled at her. 

“Here you are, a waiter will be with you shortly and if you need anything just press the button on the side of the table and a waiter will appear” Tess said before leaving. 

“Wow Darlin’ you look gorgeous” Root smiled at her before taking a sip of her water.  
“What did you do to my clothes” Shaw asked as she sat down and started eating the breadsticks. What? she was hungry. 

Root smirked at her, that one that usually meant that she knew something Shaw didn't. 

“They are in storage, don't worry you will get them back… eventually” 

Once the waiter, Thomas, came Shaw ordered the 96oz steak. Yes it was all for her, yes she knew that it was six pounds, just because she wasn't a man didn't mean that she couldn't eat six pounds of steak, yes she wanted fries with that. 

After that long discussion with the waiter she ordered spaghetti carbonara with grilled zucchini and thinly sliced fennel as a side. She finished it off with ordering whiskey for herself and white wine for Root. She knew what her girl liked. 

“Did you just order for me?” Root asked once the waiter had left.

“Yes?” Shaw asked. 

“How did you know what I wanted?”

“We’ve had a lot of dinners together”

“Like dates?” 

“No. Like dinners” 

“And do you always order for me?”

“Yes. You are indecisive when it comes to food” 

Root didn't reply she just smiled fondly until the waiter returned with their drinks. 

“So how did you propose?” Root asked a while after they got their food. 

Shaw, who had been chewing, almost chocked. 

“Who said I proposed,” she countered 

“….” Root just gave her that Are You Kidding Me look. 

Which was so unfair because Root literally married her against her will, so if anyone ‘proposed’ it would have been Root. But of course she couldn't say that. 

“Fine. I just asked you to marry me.” Shaw said.

“Sameen” Root whined, she had a habit of doing that.  
“You visited me a work to drop off food and complained that your boss kept calling you Miss Groves and that you hated that name… I replied that you could just use mine. You took it as a proposal and said yes. Next thing I know I am married to some crazy woman” Shaw grumbled the last part. 

It was as close to the truth as it could get, and that would properly have been how they’d gotten engaged. Not that Shaw thought about it. 

“Aw that is so adorable” Root gushed at the made up story. 

After they finished the waiter, who was leering at Root, asked them if they wanted dessert. 

“Yes but not anything you sell here” Root had said while staring lustfully at Shaw. 

The waiter popped a boner. How inappropriate. 

The walk to the hotel was short and the fresh wind sobered Root up, which meant that she was now getting nervous. 

“I have made reservations under Shaw” Shaw said to the receptionist at the hotel.

“Ah yes here you are. Mrs. and Mrs. Shaw, the honeymoon suite” She said as she gave Shaw the key card. 

The Piccolo took the overnight bag Shaw was carrying. 

“The honeymoon suite?” Root asked once they were in the elevator going for the third floor, room 306.

“It was the only one available on such short notice” Shaw lied. She would deny to her dying day that she had The Machine book it on purpose to make Root happy. 

Root just hummed in reply, she knew that Sameen was lying. 

When they were there Root tipped the Piccolo 10$ and shut the door behind him.

Turning around she saw that the huge room was filled with lit candles and rose pedals were lying across the floor, bed and in the hot tub in the corner of the room. It looked like heaven to Root. 

To Shaw it was hell on earth but this wasn't about her, this was about Root. 

“How about we get rid of our dresses, have a glass of champagne, some strawberries and see where it goes from there.” Shaw said 

“That made you sound like some teenager on prom night” Root giggled. 

Shaw smacked Root’s ass hard to make her stop giggling, and she did, but the giggles were replaced by a moan. 

That apparently was enough to set off Root who turned on the spot and kissed Shaw hard on the mouth. 

Shaw unzipped Root’s dress while kissing and walking her to the bed. 

When Root’s legs hit the side of the bed Shaw pushed her down and gently pulled the dress off of her. Revealing the white lingerie Root had bought.

Shaw kissed from her lips down to her nipples, lightly kissing and sucking them through the white lace. She didn't remove the bralette, she liked watching the hard nipples poking up from the lace they were confined in. 

She kissed further down her body until she reached the line of the white lace thong. She looked up at Root whose eyes were closed and a small smile was playing on her lips.  
She felt Shaw stop and looked down, catching her eyes. She nodded, giving her permission. 

Shaw spread Root’s legs and started kissing her over the lace of the panties, she did this until she could feel Root’s lips start to spread and get warmer. Then she removed the panties, slowly sliding them down Root’s long legs.

There was now nothing separating Root’s naked flesh from Shaw’s tongue. 

It didn't take long for Shaw to make Root climax, she knew her body very well after all. 

Shaw took off her own dress while Root was basking in the after glory. 

“So how was it?” Shaw asked sipping champagne from the bottle. 

“’How was it?’ what do you need a review of some sort, a grade?’” Root laughed teasing Shaw.

“No. I just wanted to know if you liked having sex with me” Shaw said embarrass- annoyed. 

“It was good Sameen, I liked having sex with you” Root replied her fingers drawing lazy patterns on Shaw’s arm.

“’Good’ it was just ‘good’ what is that like a B-?`” Shaw asked getting worked up. 

“What is wrong with a B-?” 

“Nothing, unless it comes to sex, then it should always be at least an A-“ Shaw placed the bottle on the nightstand.  
“Well it was good, just not A-“ Root defended

“What was wrong with it?” Shaw was taking this more personally than she expected.  
“Nothing was wrong with it. It just feels like something is missing” Root tried to explain.

‘Missing’ Shaw thought… ‘could it be…?’

Shaw flipped over so she was now straddling Root’s waist, she took both of Root’s wrists and held them in one hand above her head, with the other hand she grabbed Root’s throat lightly before leaning down to kiss her roughly, biting her lip hard as she pulled away.

“Something like that?” Shaw asked, but she already knew the answer. Root had been squirming and moaning from the moment Shaw kissed her. 

With one rough yank Root sat up, resulting in her having Shaw in her lap. She ran her fingers through Shaw’s hair before roughly pulling it in her fist. She pulled Shaw’s head back and started kissing, licking and biting at her neck. 

‘Oh yes’ Shaw thought as Root managed to get her unto her back and bit lightly at her breasts. ‘This is going to be fun.’


	12. "Go get yourself a wife or you'll be lonely."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can try but I will shoot you in the knee” Shaw grumbled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once I was eleven years old, my daddy told me,  
> "Go get yourself a wife or you'll be lonely."  
> \- 7 years Lukas Graham

When they finally stopped having sex it was 5 in the morning, they decided that they should just get some sleep and order room service when they woke up. 

Shaw woke up at 9 and looked first around the room with the burned out candles, Shaw had blown them out before going to sleep, then at Root who was sleeping soundly beside her with her arm over Shaw’s hips. 

Shaw got up and ate a few strawberries before looking at herself in the mirror in front of her. She had hickies, teeth marks and bruises all over her body, when she turned a bit she could see the beginning of the scratch marks Root had left up and down her back like a personal claim. But looking back at Root through the mirror she could see that Root’s body was just as marked as, if not more than, her body. She especially liked the light purple finger formed bruises on Root’s throat and hips, they proved that it was by her hand Root got her pleasure. 

One thought hit her now that she had done it and had time to think, had she taken advantage of Root? Root had consented but only based on the fact that Shaw told her that they were married. Would Root had wanted her if she only said that they were friends. Did she remember her feelings for her or was she just assuming the role of a loving wife out of respect? 

Shaw looked around at the scattered clothes and found her jacket. She walked over and lifted it up. 

She reached into the pocket and stopped when she felt it, the small black box. 

Shaw had bought wedding bands for both her and Root, and one engagement ring for Root. But now she was unsure about whether or not she should give her the rings. Would she be forcing Root into this?

She heard a groan from the bed and dropped the jacket. She picked up the bowl of strawberries and returned to the bed.

Before she could get there she tripped over Root’s stilettos from last night. The bowl went flying.

Root who was barely awake caught the bowl mid air, before most of the berries fell out. 

“Are you okay?” Root asked picking up the few strawberries that fell on the bed.

“I am, but I would have been so mad if I broke a leg because of your shoes” Shaw said as she got under the covers with Root.

“Did you see how I caught that? Maybe I am a secret ninja.” Root said as she put the bowl down between them. 

“You don't move fast enough to be a ninja, you sloth.” Shaw teased.

“I don't even work for the DMV” Root replied, a smile playing on her lips.

“Don't start with that damn movie again” 

“You were the one who wanted to watch it” 

“I did not, it was the only thing on TV that night”

“That's not true, Die Hard was playing on the other channel” 

“The explosions in that movie is shit”

“And for that reason you wanted to watch a Disney movie about a bunny?”

“…” 

“Hold on a second, the Bunny is a cop and you are a detective which is also police… can I call you my bunny?” 

“You can try but I will shoot you in the knee” Shaw grumbled. She took the bowl and placed it on the other side of her, Root didn't deserve them anymore. 

“But there are much more satisfying things you can do to me to get revenge” Root smirked as she leaned over Shaw to get the strawberries. 

Shaw didn't reply. She was too distracted by the feeling of Roots naked body against hers. 

“I got something for you” the words flew out before she could stop them, which happened a lot around Root.

“Really my Bunny?’ What?” Root sat up on the bed with a happy smile on her lips.

“Well to get it you have to promise to never call me ‘Bunny’ or anything like that ever again” 

Root pouted but agreed nonetheless. 

Shaw got up and went to get the rings in her jacket, her heart pounding loudly in her ears the entire way.

When she finally got it, hit it behind her back and returned to bed she felt like she had run a marathon, which she had actually done once.

“I should have given this to you long ago, but it was never the right time.” Shaw explained as she handed Root the box.

Root took it and opened it, delight present on her face.

She gasped as she saw the rings. 

They were all solid gold, hence the weight, the engagement ring was a classic solitaire engagement ring with a little bigger that average size diamond. 

But the wedding bands were what really caught her eye. 

They were round solid gold with one small, discrete, diamond embedded into the gold. On the inside was a fingerprint in both, one slightly smaller than the other. They were also engraved with the date 2/21/13* and ’26 FE.’

Root was crying and her hands shaking as Shaw slip first the engagement ring then the wedding band down her slim ring finger. Before putting on her own ring, it felt foreign but she refused to analyze why she like the weight of it. 

“Where did you get my prints?” Root asked still crying 

“I am police, I have my ways” Shaw answered, closing that line of questions.

“What does the writing mean” Root asked as she brushed away a few tears.

“Well February 21st 2013 was the date we got married” ‘met’ Shaw thought but didn't say. 

“And 26 FE?” 

“That is Iron on the periodic table… it is an inside joke that you will just have to remember” Shaw said, there was no way she was explaining the thing with the iron. 

Root pouted again but instead of giving in Shaw suggested that they’d take a bath in the unused tub. 

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

While Shaw filled the tub with hot water Root gathered their clothes and laid some new ones on the bed.

She did it a bit slow, stopping every minute or so to look at her rings Shaw noted. 

Shaw’s hands might have wandered in the tub, but who could blame her with a wife who looked like that. 

Once they had were done in the tub Root ordered breakfast while Shaw drained the tub and dried off the water that had spilled over the top.

While Root was getting dressed, slowly with Shaw watching, Shaw asked. 

“What did you do to my clothes? I wont wear the dress back home again” 

“Oh don't worry Darlin’ you wont have to, I packed a set for you” Root pointed at the pair of black skinny jeans, a thin white t-shirt and a black lace set of underwear. 

“Tell me what you did to the rest of my clothes.” She said backing Root up against the mirror. 

“Make me” Root smirked.

“If you don't tell me I will-“ She began but was cut off. 

“Be careful Sameen, I might like what you will do to me.” She said in a teasing tone. 

“I know, Hood and Zip ties aside, I will keep you just in the verge of orgasm every time and then leave you high and dr- well wet when we have sex until you give me my clothes.” Shaw threatened

“You wouldn't” 

“I would enjoy it too” 

Root sighed in defeat. 

“Fine they are in the large suitcase in the closet over there.” 

Before Shaw could do anything but nod there was a knock on the door. 

Root let Room Service in, even tough Shaw was only in a towel, and the young guy delivered pancakes, bacon, fruit and scrambled eggs in a large enough quantity to feed at least 4 people or well Shaw. 

While they ate they talked about guns, Root’s reasoning for knowing so much about guns was that she was Texan. Shaw didn't comment. 

“Do you have work today?” Root asked as they finished their food, it was 12 now they had to check out in 20 minutes. 

“No, I have the day off” Shaw answered as she grabbed the bag and they went down to the reception.

“Today we are going to bake a cake and call the clinic to get an appointment for the insemination” Root said once they had checked out and were waiting for a cab.

Shaw had hoped that Root had forgotten about the whole pregnancy thing, but apparently not. 

“Why cake?” was the only thing Shaw could say. 

“Because we are celebrating.” 

“Celebrating what?”

“The fact that I remember something new about us” 

Shaw froze for a second before turning towards Root, missing the empty cab that drove right passed her. 

“What do you remember?” 

Root smiled before kissing her. 

“I remember having a snowball fight with you in Anchorage before you pushed me into the snow and kissed me” Root said after breaking the kiss. “And I remember us being in Miami and you telling me that you knew where to get steaks which were better than sex.” 

“Do you remember anything else from that trip?” Shaw said looking deep into Root’s eyes. 

“No” She said, but Shaw knew when she was lying, she was hiding something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *21/2/13 in most countries.


	13. What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sameen!” 
> 
> “Tell me what more you remembered from our trip” 
> 
> “Its personal” 
> 
> “You have amnesia and I am currently eating you out. How much more personal does it get?” 
> 
> “I will tell you after you make me cum” 
> 
> “Fine”

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

John, Lionel and Shaw were in a car. And it wasn't even a bad joke.

John had noticed Shaw’s new ring and was teasing her mercilessly.

“I thought you would be more of a ‘ring in chain’ person, not that you would actually wear it “ John said while Shaw continued to punch him in the arm, hard.

“Is it engraved?”

“…” Shaw reached to punch John in the throat but he caught her hand and managed to slip the ring off of her finger.

John quickly passed the ring to Fusco in the backseat, as Shaw was assaulting him.

“ Wow Short and Angry, you really went all out” Lionel was impressed he had thought that Shaw would just get a standard wedding ring.

“Is it engraved Lionel?’ What does it say” John said as he caught one of Shaw’s hands, but was slapped in the face with the other.

“ It has the date ‘2/21/13’ and ’26 FE’ written in it. It also has a fingerprint, Nutella’s I think” Lionel said.

“Children behave” came Root’s voice over the cars radio. The Machine.

“See even Robo Cop thinks you should stop this before both of your numbers are up” Shaw gloated as she gestured Fusco to give her the ring back.

“Oh no Shaw, I was talking about you and Reese.” Said The Machine, that stupid disembodied thing.

“Haha you heard her Shaw, stop being a child” Lionel said.

“Okay so ‘2/21/13’ was the day you first met, how _romantic_. And 26 Fe is Iron, how sentimental Shaw, one would almost think that you love her.” John said. But as he had already dug his own grave he continued. “But why the prints?’ with all of us more or less in hiding and due to our jobs I wouldn't think that it was a good idea”

When Shaw didn't answer Lionel gave her the ring back and said.

“Those are exactly the reasons why she did it. The prints are miniature, embedded into the gold and properly can’t be scanned, I think that it is about trust. They are both on the run and assumed dead so for them to be carrying around each others fingerprints is a huge gesture.”

John was looking at Shaw while Lionel talked and from the minimal body language she showed he knew that for once Fusco had hit the nail on the head.

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Shaw had decided to go home for lunch, today was a slow day at work and she wanted to see if she could pressure Root into telling her what she remembered.

“Hey Darlin’” Root called from the bedroom as she heard Shaw close the door behind her.

Root rushed out of the bedroom dressed in her silk gown and closed the door behind her.

“I didn't know that you would be here for lunch” She said her face flushed.

“What were you doing in there?” Shaw asked as she came closer to Root, both of them now standing in the middle of the living room.

“Oh I just finished showering” Root tried to explain

Shaw smirked at her “Then how come your hair not _wet_ ” She dragged out the last word as she brought her hand up and undid the tie holding the gown together, revealing the naked skin underneath.

“ _Sameen_ ” Root said with a breath.

“I think you were masturbating in there-“ She was now sliding the silk passed Root’s shoulders and let it hit the floor, leaving Root naked in the living room. “-Were you thinking about me?’ about what we did in that hotel room?’”

Root nodded and let out a whimper at Shaw pinched both of her nipples before leaning forward and catching the left one in her mouth.

Shaw stopped and led her to the couch, sat her down and kneeled on the floor between her spread legs.

She looked up at Root and said “This doesn’t count as food, you still have to make me lunch”

Root let out a laugh and agreed.

Shaw brought down her tongue and went to work.

Just before Root could cum Shaw stopped.

“Sameen!”

“Tell me what more you remembered from our trip”

“Its personal”

“You have amnesia and I am currently eating you out. How much more personal does it get?”

“I will tell you after you make me cum”

“Fine”

Shaw went back to licking and softly biting Root’s lips, one quick lick at her clit was enough to send her over the edge. Shaw kept licking throughout her orgasm.

Root was still breathing heavily as she started talking.

“I remember sitting in our hotel room in Anchorage, you had been complaining about the cold and demanded to take the first, warmest and longest shower. While you were showering I was talking into my phone, maybe a video diary or something, but I remember confessing out loud for the first time that I love you. No one heard me, but for the first time I was overwhelmed by feelings and I _needed_ to say it out loud.”

Shaw didn't know what to say, she had been expecting that Root remembered stealing the jet or something not this.

So she didn't say anything, she simply leaned up and kissed her softly at first then it got harder, Shaw was trying to project everything she couldn't say into that kiss. She hoped Root would get it.

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- 

While Shaw cleaned herself up, and ehem changed her shirt, Root was making lunch only wearing her frilly pink apron as per Shaw’s demand.

Shaw was sitting on the bed thinking about what Root had said. Did she love Root? She was a sociopath she wasn't even supposed to feel anything for her.

And she wasn't sure what she really was feeling towards Root, but she knew that she even though Root, well _her_ Root, made it her mission in life to annoy the fuck out of her she was less angry when Root was around.

She liked it when Root smiled and laugh even if it sometimes meant having to do stupid shit like holding her hand in public.

Shaw had told her that she was holding her hand out of spite, to piss off homophobes. But Root had still smiled.

But at the same time she **hated** it.

She hated that she wanted to make Root smile.

That she was always slightly disappointed when Root went on missions without her.

She **hated** that she was worried about her when she went on those missions alone.

She **hated** when Root went undercover and wasn't Root anymore.

She **hated** when Root’s cover involved flirting or kissing other people.

She **hated** that she was affected by it.

She **hated** how she always found herself in Root’s personal space, that she had moved on her own accord.

She **hated** that Root was a huge nerd who wore bunny slippers and sometimes talked to inanimate objects.

She **hated** that she found it _endearing_.

She **hated** that was worried about getting **her** Root back.

And more than anything she hated wondering whether or not her mother would like her.

“Sameen, Darlin’ lunch is ready!” Root called from the kitchen.

As they were eating Root asked where her office was, she had taken more than enough time off.

Luckily The Machine and Harold had a plan for this.

“Your office is in Manhattan, but you usually work from home, the address should be in your phone and you will just have to show your ID at the entrance. But know that you rarely use that office so most of the people working there will know you by name only.” Shaw said with her mouth full. So charming.

“Oh ok, I just need to get out of the apartment before I get cabin fever” Root explained.

“Speaking of, I have booked an appointment a the clinic a month from now on the 9th and we need to start looking at apartments or houses”

Shaw swallowed hard.

“ _Wait what_?”

“Well for some reason the clinic was fully booked a month in advance, the lady said that it rarely happens. But in this apartment the only ‘rooms’ are the bedroom and the bathroom, we need another room for the baby” While Root was talking Shaw felt faint, fuck this was moving too fast.

Shaw stood up and looked at the clock “I need to get back to work”

Root must have known that something was up but she didn't say anything.

As Shaw was walking back to the Subway she felt overwhelmed and confused. She had married Root, they were so close to having a baby and now they had to go apartment hunting.

Why wasn't she on a plane on the way to Germany right now?


	14. Please don't make any sudden moves...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Shaw we need to talk”
> 
>  

Sameen Shaw was a marine she did not run away in the face of danger, yet she had run from Root twice now.

 

She was sitting in a rundown cheap motel near the airport. She had actually gone in there, bought the first transatlantic flight out, destination Amsterdam, and watched the plane take off while her feet stayed rooted to the ground. So here she was in a bed that was at least 20 years old, glaring at the unnerving blood marks in the ceiling.

 

She had been gone for 17 hours when the light began to return and she knew that Root was bound to be freaking out by now, and she wanted to go home to her but she just couldn't.

 

She reached underneath her pillow and took out her phone. It was off. She had wanted peace and quiet.

 

Once she had turned it on it became flooded with texts.

 

Low budget G.I. Joe: Where are you?

 

G.I. Joe: Are you and Root doing it?

 

Low budget G.I. Joe: come on, breaks over.

 

G.I. Joe: stop doing you wife and get back to work Shaw.

 

Root Of All Evil: Sameen are you okay? We need to talk when you get home. :)

 

G.I. Joe: Shaw?

 

G.I. Joe: are you still alive?

 

Root Of All Evil: Sameen, Darling when are you coming home? It’s over 20 o’clock.

 

Root Of All Evil I don't know if you are angry with me or something but please just let me know that you are ok!

 

G.I. Joe: TM told me that she saw you in the airport… Shaw, what are you doing?

 

Root Of All Evil: Fine! Then don't come home at all!

 

Root Of All Evil: I can’t sleep when you’re not here.

 

Root Of All Evil: I feel like I am arguing with myself.

 

Root Of All Evil: are you even reading these?

 

Root Of All Evil: I remembered something else ;)

 

Root Of All Evil: you have to come home if you want to hear it.

 

Root Of All Evil: Please Sameen. Come home!

 

Root Of All Evil: okay I get it you need space… just please let me know that you are _alive_ … just send an empty text.

 

Root Of All Evil: it is now 4 in the morning and you have been gone for 16 hours, I pray to God that you are not dead somewhere, please call me when you are ready. I wont be mad at you.

 

Shaw sighed, she knew that she should call or at least text Root that she was alive… but a part of her, the part that had been locked away since the accident didn't want to call her, it wanted her to hurt, just a bit, as payback for all the shit Shaw had had to endure, for _forcefully_ and _illegally_ marrying her.

 

Shaw got up when to the bathroom to splash some water on her face. As she looked at her reflection she saw how terrible she looked. She hadn’t slept either.

 

She took a cab to the alley where Walter was currently staying. She needed to talk to someone who was in it like the others were.

 

“Wow you look like hell!” Walter said sitting up in his brand new sleeping bag, courtesy of Root.

 

“Gee thanks” Shaw said rolling her eyes.

 

“So what did you do this time?” He asked

 

“Who said I did anything?”

 

“Well you better half came down here last night looking for you. I should really start charging you two for the therapy” he joked.

 

“Root was here last night?”

 

“Yeah, she said that you had just left for work after lunch and never came back… she paid some of my friends to keep an eye out incase you were passed out drunk somewhere”

 

“I never pass out, but never mind. I want to ask you something”

 

“Shoot”

 

“Were you ever married?”

 

“Yes I was, to a wonderful woman named Elise”

 

“Did you ever feel like running away?”

 

“Yes many times”

 

“And did you ever do it?’ What happened?”

 

“Well you see kid after I got back from the army I was a cold and bitter man. I was mean to her, I was mean to our children but she still kept believing in me… and one day I woke up without resentment and self pity”

 

“That is good right? You are saying that I should just ride it out?” Shaw asked.

 

Walter shook his head sadly.

 

“There is more to the story kid. That one morning I woke up one the streets, I had spent 5 years dragging my family down until my wife couldn't take it anymore. She kicked me out and divorced me. Last I heard she is living in somewhere in Florida with her new husband… neither of my boys speak to me and I don't even know whether or not I have grandchildren.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Yes ‘oh’ in a marriage you have to make sacrifices, and when I didn't my wife got tired of giving up everything for me”

 

“But I **do** make sacrifices! I didn't want to get married but now we are! I don't want kids, yet I am letting her have one! I don’t wan-“ Shaw’s rant was cut short by Walters slightly raised angry voice.

 

“You are ‘ _letting_ ’ her? She is your _wife_ and you are ‘letting’ her have a baby?” he face was set in an angry frown. “She has properly always wanted a child and now you are acting like you are granting her the privilege. Even if you’ve never wanted a child, she does and your job as her spouse is to make her happy, to put her happiness above yours _even_ if it means doing something you don't want to”

 

Now it was Shaw’s turn to get angry.

 

“A child is not the same as letting her choose the color of the bedroom walls Walter. It is a life long commitment! And I am a sociopath I don't do stuff like that… I don't even know if I love her” She admitted “What if I wont love the baby?”

 

Walters face softened at this, as did his voice.

 

“First of all let me tell you, I don't know how you feel but I’ve seen the way you are with her and I think you love her the best you can, and I think she knows and accepts that. Second of all, is that what you are afraid of?' not loving the baby?’ trust me kid whether it is yours by marriage, birth or adoption the moment you get that child and realize that it is yours now you will love it, you don't know that kind of love until you see the kid. And even if you don't feel that you can label it ‘love’ the fact that you will feel protective, responsible and proud. These feelings are what will make you care for the child, it what makes you a parent.”

 

He reached out and touched Shaw’s hand for a brief second.

 

“You say you don't know if you really love, so lets pretend you don't for a second. Doesn’t she deserve someone who loves her unconditionally? Doesn’t she deserve for you to give her this someone?”

 

“Yes she does, but it makes me feel like running away” Shaw said looking down.

 

“Have one room in your new house or apartment that is only yours or keep an extra one bedroom apartment that you can go to when you feel like running. It will give you breathing space without breaking up your marriage” Walter suggested.

 

Shaw gave a weak smile “ I will think about it, but I have a feeling that I need to get home”

 

Shaw left Walter with a nod and a ‘thank you.’

 

Shaw tiptoed into the apartment, everything looked normal. She walked in to the bedroom.

 

There was Root, on her own side softly breathing.

 

Shaw took off her clothes and crawled into bed with her. Root shifted flat onto her back and said.

 

“You are back”

 

“Yeah”

 

“I thought you were dead”

 

“I’m not”

 

“I see that”

 

“You sound mad, you promised not to be mad”

 

“Well I lied”

 

“That is an important survival skill, and a bad habit”

 

“Shaw we need to talk”

 

“Shaw?’ you never call me ‘Shaw’”

 

“I changed my mind Sameen, I don't want a child anyway.”

 

“Are you saying this for my sake?”

 

Root turned so they were now looking at each other.

 

“Sameen I love you and if not having a child will make you stay with me then I don't need one, I just need you.”

 

“Don't give up having a child for me Root I am not worth it.”

 

“You are to me”

 

“When I was gone I was at the airport trying to leave but I couldn't, I don't know why, but what I do know is that I am a sociopath Root, I will need to leave from time to time… but I will come back to you.”

 

While Shaw spoke tears rolled down Root’s cheeks. Root the tucked herself into Shaw’s arms, placing her head on her chest.

 

“Thank you Darlin’ this means so much to me”

 

“I know Root, I know… so... what did you remember”

 

“oh eh this may sound a bit weird but eh are we like into role play or something?”

 

“ _Why_?”

 

“I remember opening the door for you at a hotel, you called me Veronica and we talked about some money trail… then I remember tasing you, zip tying you to a chair and threatening you with an Iron… oh my god that is where the Fe in our rings come from! You had a kink written in our _wedding rings_ Sameen!” She sounded outraged at the last part.

 

Shaw couldn't help but laugh “Well it was a kind of role play and we were both liking it a bit too much.”

 

“Well yeah I think I enjoy hurting you, just a little” Root blushed.

 

“Well I enjoy hurting you too, just a little” Shaw said and kissed her on the lips.

 

After a little while Root pushed her away.

 

“Sorry but I am so tired”

 

“Me too, let’s sleep for a few hours”

 

Root cuddled into Shaw and Shaw found that she didn't really mind, at least she was warm now.


	15. Swimming in Oreo's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For fucks sake Sameen Shaw!’ Am I pregnant or not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from... nope that is a spoiler :D

“Stop singing”

 

“I sing when I’m nervous”

 

“Oh really I didn't know”

 

“Sameen, was that sarcasm?”

 

“If you have to sing, then sing something better than ‘ _Toes_ ’”

 

Root smirked and started singing loudly and off tune.

 

“ _My bartender she's from the islands her body's been kissed by the sun…_ ”

 

Shaw pulled over in the car, ignoring the honking behind her, and kissed Root on the mouth, hard.

 

Once they stopped kissing Shaw looked Root in the eyes and said.

 

“Root I know that you are nervous and that you think this is scary, but trust me I haven’t seen anything you couldn't do yet.”

 

Root was breathing heavily and staring at her wife. God she loved her.

 

“When did you get so good at this comfort thing?” Root asked

 

“My dad always told me that actions speak louder than words, so as long you can show someone how you feel it’s okay if you can’t say it- my mom of course said that it was a 100% bullshit, well she said that it was ‘utterly untrue’ but that is parent speak for bullshit.”

 

Root laughed, a bit of the tension leaving her body.

 

“Well I think your dad was right, you show me how you feel when you do sweet stuff like this… so lets go get me pregnant.”

 

The wait at the clinic felt like forever with Root turning in her seat every 10 seconds. And Shaw was actually relieved when they were called in to Dr. Heern’s office.

 

“Good afternoon Mrs. And Mrs. Shaw I just want to talk you through the procedure and make sure that we have selected the correct donor before we begin. Please have a seat.” Dr. Heern said with that big fake smile of hers.

 

“Dr. Heern I was wondering if there is any way I can have Sameen do the insemination? She is a doctor and this is a really intimate thing so I kind of want my wife to do it.”    

 

 

Dr. Heern’s eyebrows shot up as she looked at Shaw.

 

“Oh I didn't know that you are a doctor Mrs.S- Dr. Shaw… well it is highly unusual for a patients spouse to do the insemination and we do have regula-“

 

“We will pay you extra and you wont have to do anything.” Shaw said her no nonsense tone.

 

“Oh well then I guess I can make an exception for you two, Dr. and Mrs. Shaw.” Dr. Heern replied.

 

“I have written here that you chose donor Nr. 45509511 aka ‘Dave’ the donation is anonyms meaning that the child will not be privy to any information after reaching the legal age of 18. You have also chosen, rarely does this happen, to buy out the stock of semen provided by this donor and keep it frozen here in case you want more children. Is all of this information correct?”

 

“Yes, it is” Root replied. Buying out the stock had been her idea. ‘ _Dave_ ’ was a new donor, following the clinics new one donation rule and had never been used before, so by buying the rest of the ‘donations’ she ensured that there wouldn't be any siblings besides the ones they decided.

 

“I also want to make sure you know that most women do not get pregnant on their first try so there isn’t anything wrong if this does not take” Dr. Heern said.

 

“We know” Root answered.

 

“Well okay then just sign here-“ Dr. Heern handed them both some release forms “-and here”

 

Shaw signed, ** _S. Shaw(*1)_** , right away but noticed that Root was hesitating. She leaned over and whispered.

 

“Root are you okay?’ you can still back out”

 

Root turned her head and whispered back.

 

“No it’s just… I don't know how to write my signature” She blushed a little bit. The blushing was starting to grow on Shaw.

 

“Just write S. W. Shaw” their whispering was earning them a weird look from Dr. Heern.

 

Root’s hand moved on it’s own accord and she was left staring down at her own signature, Samantha W Shaw(*2), it looked both foreign and familiar. She put hers on the table next to Shaw’s and saw the way their signatures lined up next to each other, the way their handwriting was so different but yet complimented each other so well.

 

Then Dr. Heern handed her a paper gown. “Please go through that door there-“ She pointed to the door to the left side behind her desk. “-Put this on, no underwear, and wait for your wife and I on the examination table.”

 

Root nodded. As she left she could hear Dr. Heern briefing Shaw on what to do and how to do it.

 

 

Root slowly took off her clothes she could feel her entire body starting to shake, this was really happening and even if it didn't take nothing could erase this, they had started trying for a baby.

 

Once she had put on the paper gown she slid her panties down her legs and jumped up on the table, and waited.

 

Then the door opened.

 

“I see you are ready Mrs. Shaw… well as I explained to Dr. Shaw the method we are using is Intrauterine Insemination or IUI the procedure is basically done by inserting sperm directly into the uterus. The purpose of this process is to position the sperm as close as possible to the egg cell to increase the chances of conception. The sperm we are using has been washed,

Meaning that we have separated the ’bad’ sperm from the ’good’ sperm.-”

 

Dr. Heern pulled out a pair of gloves, two gowns and two scrub caps and gave half of it to Shaw. She then opened the fridge and pulled out the plastic cup containing the sperm. She opened a drawer to get some sort of needle with a long tube, a tube a lube and a mean looking spreader.

  
“-So, your wife will start by using the lube to make sure you aren’t hurt, then using a vaginal speculum she will open you up a bit before a thin flexible catheter is inserted into your cervix via the vagina. The sperm is then inserted through the catheter into the uterus.

 

After completing the procedure, you must lie still for at least 15 minutes. Later today you may experience mild cramping in the uterus. And finally fifteen days after the procedure, you can take a pregnancy test and depending on the results you can go to a gynecologist to have it confirmed.”

 

Root had tuned out long ago and was only looking at Shaw who looked so hot in her hospital get up.

 

“Lay back and spread you legs.” Shaw said trying not to enjoy this too much, there was another person here after all.

 

Root smirked “Well, when you say it like that Dr. Shaw” she said flirtation clear in her tone.

 

Root laid back and put her legs up into the leg holders. Shaw could feel them shake slightly.

 

Shaw ran her hands up and down the inside of Root’s thighs, trying to clam her down. To hell with Dr. Heern.

 

Shaw slowed down her hands and moved her right hand higher and higher until she made contact. She heard a small gasp and smirked a bit this was fun.

 

Her gloved fingers stroked Root’s lips softly for a moment before she pulled them back and coated her right hand in the cold lube.

 

When she put them back she heard a louder gasp, she knew that her fingers would feel cold and wet now but she kept going anyway. It was a good thing that Root wasn't an actual patient to her because the way she was touching her would definitely get her sued Shaw thought as she circled Root’s clit with the index finger before inserting two fingers.

 

After about two minutes Root’s thighs started twitching and her breathing changed. God Root was always so easy to get off.

 

Shaw looked down and saw clearly that the spread wetness was no longer only lube. Yes now was the time. She inserted the vaginal speculum slowly, both to make sure she didn't hurt her but also to tease her, then she spread it a bit. She loved the sounds Root made when she was trying to keep from moaning out loud.

 

Once that was in place Dr. Heern handed her the thin flexible catheter with the bottom container for the sperm.

 

Shaw took it and inserted the catheter but before she pushed on the end to release the sperm she looked at Root.

 

“Root look at me-“ Root did- “you can still say no, I will support you no matter what”

 

Root shook her head “Do it”

 

So Shaw did.

 

\---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---

 

While Root had to lay with her hips elevated Shaw pulled out her phone and laid next to her. They watched Adventure Time on Netflix.

 

\---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---

 

15 days had passed since the clinic and Root had just peed on a stick.

 

1 minute later.

 

“Darlin’ what if I cant do this?”

 

1 ½ minute later

 

“No buying 8 tests was not a stupid decision”

2 minutes later

 

“Sam you are not the boss of me, if I want to drink a gallon of Cranberry Juice I can”

 

2 ½ minutes later

 

“Sameen here take it, you have to look I can’t”

 

3 minutes later

 

“So?”

 

“So what?”

 

“Sameen I swear to God, not now”

 

“…”

 

“Sameen!”

 

“Okay, Okay, calm down”

 

“Just tell me Sam, am I pregnant or not”

 

“If I say yes will you still pee on the rest of the pregnancy tests or did we just waste out money?”

 

“For fucks sake Sameen Shaw!’ Am I pregnant or not?”

 

“You know what, I am not telling. If you want to know you’ll have to look for your self.”

 

Root all but ripped the pregnancy test out of Shaw’s hand and looked down at it.

 

‘+’ She was pregnant.

 

1.

 

2. 

 


	16. Better an honest no than a false yes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is something I haven’t told you”

 

It had been a month since the blood test had confirmed Root’s pregnancy. During that month they had moved from the otherwise perfect apartment to a new one Shaw had found, well The Machine had but Shaw took credit for it.

 

Their new place was very similar to the old one the only differences were the two extra rooms and the fireplace in the living room.

 

During that time Root also nearly drove Shaw to suicide with her constant baby talk and nursery decorating.

 

“Would you rather have a boy or a girl” Root asked on a snowy Monday morning.

 

“I don’t ca-“

 

“Don’t say ‘I don't care as long as it’s healthy’ I know you have a preference Sam”

 

“….”

 

“ _Sameen_ ”

 

“Well you go first, what would you prefer?”

 

“No I asked first”

 

“Well I’m more insistent”

 

“On three?”

 

“Fine”

 

“1”

 

“2”

 

“Boy”

 

“Girl”

 

They both stared at each other for a few seconds before Shaw chuckled.

 

“Guess only one of us are getting what we want”

 

“Yeah, but I’m telling you Sam it’s a mothers instinct… we are having a girl”

 

“Sure you believe that, but don't cry when HE is born and I gloat over how fucking wrong you were”

 

Root smiled, her competitive one.

 

“Well if you are that sure Sameen then why don't we bet on it?”

 

“Fine, what do you want to bet?”

 

“…Hmm I don't know yet” Root replied.

 

“Well I know what I want. W _hen_ I win I want 10 uninterrupted hours in an undisclosed location where I get to do whatever I want to you.”

 

“Wow Sameen that is both vague and threatening… I’m in” Root smirked.

 

“If I win I want to meet you mother” Root said with a look on her face that Shaw couldn't quite understand.    

 

“No” Shaw said.

 

“Sameen, I know you said that your relationship is complicated but come on by the time I meet her I will have given birth to her grandchild.”

 

“Still no”

 

“ _Please_ Sameen. I can't see my parents, my mom is dead and I've never met my father. I want our child to have at least _one_ grandparent.”

 

“You've never met your father?”

 

“No”

 

“Why not?”

 

“That doesn’t matter Sameen.”

 

“come on Root, you can tell me.”

 

Root poured more coffee in her cup before answering.

 

“He was a married man who got my mother pregnant at 17... he refused to leave his wife so I've never met him.”

 

“Oh”

 

“Yeah _oh_ , so even if I did find out who he is I don't want him to meet our child ”

 

BEEP BEEP BEEP

 

“Shaw” Shaw answered her phone

 

“Ms. Shaw you are needed by Mr. Reese in Midtown” came Finch’s worried voice over the phone.

 

“Text me the addressee” Shaw said as she got up.

 

When she had hung up she looked up to see Root holding her gun and badge.

 

“Thanks” Shaw said as she took them and headed for the door.

 

“Bye Sameen”

 

“Bye Root”

 

 

Root cleaned up after breakfast and went to the room that would be the nursery.

 

Maybe she should paint it pink once the OB/GYN had confirmed that is was it girl in her belly.

 

Pink would go with her Ballerina… wait her Ballerina? Yes the one she brought when she ran away from home.

 

 _Oh god_ she had run away at 14.

 

Why had she run away?

 

maybe something with her mother?

 

Yes it must have been her mother.

 

Root shook the thought from her head and started unboxing more of their stuff, maybe she would find the doll in there.

 

 

By the time Shaw returned it was already 18 and Root hadn’t even started diner yet.

 

“Should we just order something?”

 

“ _No_ Sam, we’ve got chicken breast in the fridge just put in on a pan while I cut up some vegetables”

 

“Aggh fine”

 

They cooked in silence until Root cut her finger.

 

“Aw damn it” She cursed while holding it under cold water. She then reached for the knife to wash it as well.

 

 

A piercing scream and a loud bang made Shaw turn towards her.

 

Root was sitting on the floor, knife in hand and pale as a sheet.

 

“Root. Root is everything alright”

 

“I- I- Shaw you have to call the police”

 

“What?’ why?’ you are not making any sense Root”

 

“I- I killed him Sam, I killed a man” Root looked up at her with eyes full of fear and tears.

 

“What?’ Root who did you kill?’”

 

“I don't know just some guy. I snug in while he was sleeping and slid his throat. Oh god he was sleeping next to his _wife_!“

 

“Root listen” Shaw placed her hand on Root’s knee.

 

Root quickly flew back against the wall.

 

“NO DON'T TUCH ME! I AM A MURDERE”

 

“ROOT LISTEN” Shaw yelled, loosing her patience.

 

“There is something I haven’t told you” Shaw continued.

 

“Like what?”

 

“Do you remember the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith?” Shaw asked.

 

Root nodded.

 

“We are like them or well we were, now we are the good guys. We work for an artificial super intelligence called The Machine. She talks to you via the implant in your ear. We work with John and a guy called Finch and sometimes Fusco. I am not really a cop and you aren’t really a Tech developer either, they are cover identity The Machine sat up for us. ” It felt good to finally get it off her chest. Was this how Catholics felt?

 

“I don't believe you. You are lying to me”

 

“No Root I’m not”  

 

Then suddenly Root jumped up.

 

“Something just spoke in my head”

 

“Yeah that would be The Machine, it does that”

 

Root had that vacant look on her face she always had when The Machine spoke to her.

 

After about a minute she looked at Shaw, who had gotten up to turn the water off, and said.

 

“So I’m a trained assassin who met your gang and in order to obtain access to The Machine I joined you guys and then we fell in love and got married?”

 

“Well about that Root…we aren’t _actually_ married, it was just a cover you had made incase you got hurt and needed someone to make medicinal decisions for you”

 

“Oh… well I feel foolish now” Root said, a tear making the run from her eye to her chin.

 

“But the certificate is still in the system Root, as far as the public is concerned we have been married since 2013” Shaw offered.

 

“But it is not real Sameen”

 

“That is what I said at first but these last few months with you made me realize that a stupid piece of paper doesn’t matter. Even when you didn't remember me you trusted me and we work as couple… I wouldn't have given you a ring if I didn't mean it Root”

 

Root looked up at Shaw.

 

“Do you really mean that?”

 

“Don't make my say anymore sappy stuff. I’ve filled my quota” Shaw complained and Root laughed a little.

 

“But that doesn’t mean that I didn't kill that man” She said after a little while.

 

“No it doesn’t but back then you were a different person, you’ve changed now… The Machine helped you change” Shaw said and helped Root up from the floor and got her a Band-Aid.

 

“Shaw will you promise something?”

 

“What?”

 

“From now on you tell me the truth about everything”

 

“Okay”

 

“Well in that case. Why can’t I meet your mother?”

 

“Root!”

  


	17. love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "did I suddenly snap and kill the Delivery guy or was I always like this?’”

Root was currently 3 months pregnant was slowly gaining her memories back, which was good, but she also had the morning sickness from hell… which was bad.

 

Shaw had forced Root to drop the notion of meeting her mother, in exchange Root got veto right when it came to naming the child- which was a terrible idea because Root was shit at names.

 

Currently Shaw was walking Root to the Subway, she had talked with the team and they had agreed that Root should be reintroduced now that her memories were coming back.

 

“Hello Ms. Groves” Finch said standing up from where he had been sitting at his desk.

 

“I- um- hello Mr.?” Root was nervous and Shaw knew that part of it was the whole ‘Ms. Groves’ thing.

 

“Oh of course I’m Harold Finch.” He said and held out his hand for her to shake, the hand with a faint scar from when she had kidnapped him.

 

Root took his hand but didn't shake it. She traced the scar with her finger before looking him in the eyes.

 

“I did this?” It was somewhere between a question and a statement.

 

“It was another you Ms. Groves and a long time ago.” His voice was kinder that before.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the pain I caused you.” Root said and then did something neither Shaw nor John who was also in the room had thought would happen.

 

Root hugged Finch.

 

His arms flailed for a moment, before settling behind her back mindful of not putting too much pressure on her belly as they hugged.

 

They stood like that for a while before they pulled away.

 

“Do you know why I hate being called Ms. Groves?” Root asked.

 

“No, I must confess, I do not” Finch said

 

“Back in Bishop it was meant as an insult. I was the bastard child of a young high school drop out and a married man so I could only have my mother’s maiden name and my mother was always a ‘ _Miss_.’ So when you call me that it reminds me of how my mother and I were treated.” Root explained.

 

Shaw almost laughed, Finch looked like he had just swallowed a camel. Even John smiled a little, he didn't know Root’s story but had told Finch to call her Root many times.

 

 

“You have my most sincere apologies, eh, _Root_ ” Finch said.

 

Root smiled and nodded.

 

“Besides she is a ‘ _Mrs._ ’ now” John said glancing at Shaw, who glared in return.

 

The rest of the day Root was shown the work they did, more or less, Shaw refused to take her on any missions due to her pregnancy, but Root convinced her to let her come on a small one.

 

So now they were sat at a café, watching their number.

 

Root was being off Shaw noted.

 

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

 

“Nothing Darlin’” Root said and took a sip of her decaf coffee.

 

“We promised no lies Root” Shaw reminded her.

 

Root let out a small breath before answering.

 

“It’s just I keep remembering all these people that I, eh, killed but not what made me a killer. You know?’ it’s like did I suddenly snap and kill the Delivery guy or was I always like this?’”

 

Shaw should have known this would happen. Because Root was right, she knew that she was a killer for hire but nothing about how she got there.

 

“If I tell you will you promise not to panic or anything?” Shaw asked.

 

“No”

 

“Oh okay.”

 

“Sam just tell me” Root reached over the table and grabbed Shaw’s hand.

 

“You remember your friend Hannah?”

 

“Yeah, you said we had a falling out”

 

“I lied. She was kidnapped and killed… you framed the guy who did it and ran away with 100.000 $ of mob money” Shaw said.

 

“Hannah died?’ wow yeah I guess that would push me over the edge” Root said and pulled her hand away from Shaw’s.

 

 

“Root”

 

“I’m fine Darlin’ I just need a moment, watch the number” Root got up and headed towards the bathroom.

 

 

Shaw wanted to follow her, to make sure that she was okay, but she also had to keep an eye on their number. So she stayed.

 

15 minutes passed, the number was leaving after receiving a text telling her to where to be in 20 minutes and Root hadn’t returned yet.

 

Shaw made her decision.

 

Root was in the last stall. Soft crying could be heard.

 

She knocked gently on the door.

 

“Root, can I come in?”

 

She heard the toilet flush before the door unlocked.

 

Root was a mess when she opened the door. Her hair was in a messy bun, her mascara was running and her lipstick gone.

 

Shaw would properly still do her.

 

“It came back to me Sam, everything about Hannah came back.” She said, her voice shaking.

 

“Root I am so, so sorry. Do you remember that John found her? That she got a proper burial?”

 

Root nodded with a sad smile.

 

“Yeah, that was the first time since her murder I felt like I could breath.”

 

Then Root’s expression changed.

 

“Sameen, where is the number?’” Root asked.

 

“Fuck the number. This is more important.”

 

Root smiled for real this time and was about to answer before getting that vacant look in her eyes.

 

“ _She_ says that the girl is in trouble.” Root said standing up, ready to leave. It was almost like the old Root was back.

 

While they were driving, fast, to get there in time Root looked over at Shaw.

 

“By the way I felt something weird in the bathroom. Like the baby had a hiccup or something.”

 

Shaw’s lips twitched upwards, just a little.

 

“Well you are 16 weeks along so he would get hiccups now.” She explained.

 

“There!” Root said and pointed at their number, who was headed down an alley.

 

It turned out that the number was indeed the victim, being targeted by a gang who’s leader her brother had killed.

 

“Stay in the car” Shaw said after having parked.

 

“No”

 

“ _Samantha_ this is not a fucking discussion! You are pregnant with our son, you will stay in the car.” Shaw almost roared.

 

Root didn't say anything but nodded angrily.

 

Shaw walked into the alley, gun drawn.

 

She was met with the number on her knees crying, being held at gunpoint by 5 gang members.

 

She should have worn her bullet prove vest… well fuck it… Maximum effort.

 

Shaw took the first two down, shot in the knee, while she walked in there.

 

The three others started firing at her, but she ducked behind a conveniently placed dumpster.

 

She managed to take down another one. And fuck she was out of ammo. She had two extra clips in her jacket, which she had given to Root because she was cold and had only worn a cardigan even thought it was fucking snowing. FUCK.

 

Then she head three shots ring out.

 

The two remaining gang members fell to the ground and Root helped their number up from the ground.

 

“Root I told you to stay in the car” Shaw felt her self get angry. Root had intentionally defied her and put the baby at risk.

 

“This is the second time I’ve saved your ass. How about a little gratitude?” Root replied.

 

“You weren’t pregnant the first time, Root you can’t just go running into gunfire anymore.”

While they were arguing one of the men managed to get to his gun and took a shot at Root.

 

It hit the wall behind her but the sound made her jump a bit and slip on an ice patch behind her.

 

Shaw, who had taken the gun from Root, shot the guy in the hand before checking on Root.

 

“Root, Root are you okay?” she asked while pulling Root up into a sitting position.

 

The look Root gave her was different. It was confused but most of all angry.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine” Root sneered. “ _Sweetie_.”

 

Oh.

 


	18. Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shot little extra chapter :) enjoy <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. - Gilbert K. Chesterton

“ _So_ ”

 

“So”

 

“You remember everything?’ because the deal was that you could only say ‘Sweetie’ when you remembered everything.” Shaw said. Why was she nervous?

 

“I think I remember everything. But it’s like when you've been drinking and you think you remember everything, but someone could tell you a story about yourself that you don’t recall.” Root said.

 

“Ok, but you remember how we met?”

 

“Yes, _vividly_ ”

 

“And you remember, eh” Shaw pointed to Root’s shoulder.

 

“Yes, I remember you shooting me. But I also remember you letting them put me in a fucking asylum like I was damaged, and I remember being locked up in that cage like an animal unable to talk to the one thing that gave me a sense of purpose because Finch was acting like a jealous child!” Root stood up and shoved Shaw not so gently away from her.

 

“I remember you, the only person I trust, lying to me for months and taking me for a fool, and then as a cherry on top letting me get fucking _pregnant_!” Root was shouting while walking away.

 

“Now hold up one fucking second, you wanted to become pregnant. You said that you wanted this.” Shaw said, now it was her turn to get angry.

 

“No, the version of me that hadn’t been through all of this shit wanted a child, you should have know the difference.” Root opened the passenger side door. “ In this line of work a good death is a privilege and you don't have children. Those are the rules.”

 

Shaw got in on her side of the car and turned it on.

 

“Oh so what now? You want an abortion, is that it?” Shaw was speeding. She didn't care.

 

“No but you left me to deal with this alone Shaw.” Root’s had landed on her small belly for a brief second before she ripped it away as if it had burned.

 

“Root, you are not alone in this.” Shaw glanced over at her. Root refused to meet her gaze.

 

“Oh for fucks sake Shaw, spare me the lovey dovey bullshit. I know that we aren’t really married. I only made that identity so someone could legally make decisions regarding my life; by the way I wanted you to have taken me off life support.” Root said.

 

“Then fucking forgive me for not wanting you to die. My fucking mistake, next time we are on a mission I will make sure that I let you die.”

 

They were finally in front of their apartment building.

 

Shaw turned off the car and unbuckled her seatbelt.

 

“Come on, we can talk more up stairs.” Shaw opened her door and looked over at Root.

 

“No.”

 

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Shaw asked.

 

“I mean I’m not coming up, I need some space Sameen.” Root replied.

 

“No”

 

“No?” Root asked, raising a brow.

 

“No, when I had my freak-out I left and I hurt you, you begged me not to just leave like that again and I won’t let you do the same.”

 

“So you are telling me that I can’t leave?” Root asked.

 

“Yes. No. I guess I am asking you not to.” Shaw looked down at her hands, the ring on her finger catching her eyes.

 

“Answer me this, did you guys laugh at me?’ pathetic little Root who hit her head.”

 

“No never!” Shaw slammed her door, walked over the passenger side and roughly opened the door. “ Root I would never do that to you and you know it. Right now you are confused and your pride is hurt. But please just come home with me, I’ll even sleep on the couch if you want me to.” Shaw bargained.

 

“Fine, but only because I’m hungry and I love our bed.” Root said getting out of the car.

 

They ordered Chinese but ate in silence. Shaw walked Bear and Root went to bed.

 

Shaw woke up to the feeling of someone touching her face. Her eyes flew open.

 

Root was looking down at her, her eyes red and puffy.

 

“Please come to bed?’ I can’t sleep when you’re not there.” Root asked in a very small voice.

 

Shaw got up. She had barely gotten any sleep either.

 

They went to bed and Shaw felt Root curled up against her.

 

“I’m sorry I overreacted.” Root spoke softly.

 

“It’s okay, I’m glad you didn't leave.” Shaw admitted.

 

Root didn't reply, she leaned in and kissed her.

 

It was soft and sweet at first. Then it got hotter and heavier until kissing turned into sex.

 

They were both sweating and panting when they were done.

 

“ I love you.” Root said before falling asleep.

 

“Me too” Shaw whispered.

 

On second thought maybe she should let Root meet her mother.


	19. If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Cocca puffs, she left, didn't she?” He asked.

When Shaw woke up the next morning she knew that something was wrong before she even opened her eyes.

 

She laid there for a few seconds, listening, the apartment was completely quiet.

 

Shaw opened her eyes and looked at the spot that used to be Root’s. On her pillow was a folded note and a ballerina doll.

 

Shaw grabbed it and began reading.

 

“ _Hey Sweetie,_

_Please don't be mad at me, I need space to figure all of this stuff out. I know I said that I wouldn't leave and that I overreacted, which I did, but I still need to be on my own for a while… well not completely on my own I guess… But I need to know where I am and where I'm headed and I am sorry but I can’t do that here._

_I will be back in a week._

_Love Root_.”

 

Shaw didn't know what to do now, with this, with all of this. Had she, the sociopath, actually pushed Root away? Root who kept coming back no matter how much Shaw pushed and pushed.

 

A part of her was happy thought, was this the end of it?’ was she free?

 

As she got up and walked around the apartment she could feel that voice grow smaller and smaller, till it was just a whisper. She now realized how big this place was, how lonely it seemed.

 

 

**Day 1.**

 

The rest of the day Shaw was in a kind of trance, she received no numbers or calls. It was just her alone in the apartment… I was sort of nice… she watched tv, cooked and worked out… then she went to bed… nothing exceptional happened.

 

**Day 2.**

 

Today she got up and went to make breakfast, and then she noticed that the door to the nursery was opened a little. She closed it quickly without looking into the room. The rest of the day she avoided the door like the plague.

 

**Day 3.**

 

On the third day she got a number. Emma Hays, 35, married to some old rich playboy.

 

The number was a quick fix. Emma was a gold-digger who planed to kill her husband of 2 years, Keith Hays.

 

Fusco picked up Emma and noticed Shaw’s mood, not that she was ever really in a good mood… but this seemed worse.

 

“Are you okay Shaw?’”

 

“Mind you own business Fusco.” Shaw bit back. She was so quick to anger today; she had almost punched an old lady who took the last pudding at the store.

 

“Oh I see” and he did, he had that knowing look in his eyes.  

 

“What?’” Shaw asked, anger still evident in her voice.

 

“Cocca puffs, she left, didn't she?” He asked.

 

“Did Big Sister tell you that?” What was that things deal? This was personal; it had nothing to do with It.

 

“No, but I am a detective you know.” He defended.

 

“…” Shaw gave him a cold look.

 

He sighed. “ I work long hours for bad pay, I have seen that look” He pointed to her face. “ On both myself and my colleagues… that is the ‘my wife left’ look.” He explained.

“She said that she needs time, she should be home in 4 days” Shaw said, and 8 hours and 32 minutes.

 

Fusco nodded.

 

“Meet me at the station at 5.” He said.

 

“Why?”

 

“We are going drinking.”

 

“No offence Fusco but I’d rather not.”

 

“No?’ let me guess you plan to watch something on Netflix, something you’ve been meaning to watch together, out of spite then eat take out and drink yourself stupid on the couch.”

 

How the hell would he know that?

 

“Because I’ve been there Shaw and trust me getting out will be good for you. We don't have to talk or anything like that, we will just go to a sports bar and watch whatever is on in silence while we drink” he offered.

 

“ _Fine_ , but if I have to talk about anything not sports related I am going home.” Shaw said.

 

 

They met up and went to the first place they found. It was Australian and they were showing Rugby. Shaw loved Rugby.

 

Fusco kept his word and didn't force her to talk about anything other than the game all night.

 

That night when she came home she wanted to tell Root that despite popular opinion, Fusco was not terrible company. But the apartment was just as empty as when she left it.

 

**Day 4.**

 

Day 4 she spent in the Subway with Finch. Leon had fucked up again and both John and Fusco were helping him out.

 

Shaw was playing with Bear when Finch spoke up.

 

“She is okay, just so you know.”

 

Shaw’s gaze shifted up towards him quickly. How did he know? Had Root contacted him? Why him and not her?

 

As if he could read her mind he continued.

 

“Ms. Grov- Root didn't contact me but The Machine told me that, she, that they are both safe.”

 

Shaw cleared her throat.

 

“Does It know where she is?” She asked trying, and failing, to sound casual.

 

“Yes but it wont tell me.” At this he actually sounded sad, but whether it was because his creation was refusing him or because he wanted to know where Root was she couldn't tell.

 

Shaw spend that night ordering, bargaining, threatening and begging The Machine to tell her where Root was. But it didn't help the damn thing didn't even answer her.

 

Just before she fell asleep she received a text from an unknown number.

 

“Bishop, Texas” was all it said.

 

Shaw sat up in bed. She was tired of waiting.

 

Root did not get to do this to her, just disappear.

 

She was going to Texas.

 

 

**Day 5.**

 

Shaw flew out the next morning. It took a little over 5 hours to get to Corpus Christi, and then she still had to drive to Bishop.

 

Thankfully The Machine had rented a car and provided coordinates for Roots location.

 

The drive there and taken a while, and it had given Shaw time to realize that she was chasing after her, like in some bad teenage movie.

 

She drove through the inner part of town all the way outskirts and geez that was a boring, old, town.

 

She could see on the GPS that her destination was near something called Carreta Creek.

 

When Shaw arrived at her destination she was a bit surprised to see a rundown small wooden cabin, it looked like it had been build a hundred years ago. A car was parked in the driveway. It must be here.

 

Shaw carefully pushed the door open and called through the house.

 

“Honey I’m home.”

 

There came a crashing sound from a nearby room and then Root appeared in the doorway.

 

Root’s hair was messy, her eyes were puffy and she looked tired.

 

“Sameen.” Root said.

 

Then a figure appeared from behind her. It was a police officer, a woman with pale skin, long red hair and striking green eyes.

 

The woman put her hand on Root’s shoulder.

 

“Who are you?” She asked, her voice hard, protective.

 

“I’m her wife, who the hell are you?” Shaw’s tone matched the woman’s.

 

“Sameen this is Molly Quinn, an old friend I ran into today.” Root said in what could only be described as a drawl. Before the woman, Molly, could answer.

 

“You should take better care of your wife Sameen, she passed out at the cemetery today, we just got back from the hospital.” Molly said.

 

Shaw wanted to bite the woman’s head off. But instead she focused on Root.

 

“Are you okay?” She asked a small amount of worry in her voice.

 

Root gave her a soft smile before turning towards Molly.

 

“Thank you for everything today Moll, I owe you one. Now I don't mean to be rude but I need to talk to my wife.”

 

Molly smiled down at her. Yeah thats right Molly was taller than Root. Everything really was bigger in Texas.

 

“It was no trouble Sammy, it was really good seeing you again.” She hugged Root before nodding to Shaw and leaving.

 

“…So Molly huh?” Shaw asked.

 

Root let out a small laugh.

 

“Molly has been married to Jimmy Quinn since high school, they have 5 children.” Root explained.

 

“Oh”

 

“Yeah ‘oh’” Root said as she pushed past Shaw to get the now warm Iced Tea on the coffee table.

 

“What did the doctors say Root?” This time Shaw voice was softer.

 

Root patted the seat beside her. Shaw sat down.

 

“Root.”

 

“She said that I need to take it easy, no excitement of any kind… my heart isn’t handling the stress of the pregnancy well.” Silent tears slipped down Root’s cheeks.

 

Shaw didn't know what to do or say. She took Root’s hand and that seemed to open the floodgates.

 

Root was now full on sobbing and hugging Shaw close.

 

Shaw wrapped her arms around Root and just held her until she calmed down. Like she had done before.

 

That night Shaw slept better that she had all week.

 

 **Day 6**.

 

On the sixth day Root showed Shaw around the small town. She showed her the school she went to and the places she used to hang out with Hannah when she didn't want to go home.

She also showed her the cemetery where generations of Groves’ were buried. Where Hannah was also buried. She told her stories about all the stuff the two of them would get up to when they weren’t at school or at the library.

 

She had even shown Shaw her yearbook pictures.

 

That evening they told each other silly stories from their childhoods. Root swore that their child would have a better one than she did.

 

Shaw silently hoped that their child would turn out to be just like Root.

 

**Day 7.**

 

On the seventh day, they left. Shaw drove them back to the airport where they waited for a few hours.

 

Shaw was a bit annoyed, upon traveling with Root The Machine provided 1st class tickets… The Machine clearly had a favorite.

 

Root fell asleep on the plane and Shaw asked for an extra blanket to keep her warm.

 

They took a cab home from the airport when they landed.

 

As Root entered the apartment she laughed. She walked around a bit taking in the mess Shaw had left everywhere.

 

“You can’t function without me huh?” Root teased her before walking in to the bathroom.

 

Shaw shook her head. No, it appeared that she couldn't.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell”
> 
>  
> 
> ― Philip Henry Sheridan


	20. A mother gives you a life, a mother-in-law gives you her life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She is my wife. Her name is Root.” Shaw answered simply. 
> 
> “What? Sameen that is not acceptable! I raised you better that that” Her mom sounded mad.

Things settled down after Shaw brought Root home. Whatever she had needed from Bishop she had apparently gotten, because she was back to herself.

 

Well almost, she was so frustrated with having to be in the Subway most of the time, seeing as they all agreed that letting a 4 month pregnant women, even a former killer for hire/ psychopath, out in the field was a bad idea.

 

One day Root had demanded a number from The Machine, which she had gotten.

 

Turned out her ‘number’ was Amanda Little, a yoga instructor for pregnant women and was in no way in danger or a danger to others. The Machine had tricked her.

 

Root had been so angry when she found out. Shaw had thought it was _hilarious_. Shaw slept on the couch that night.

 

There were still small missions Root had to do as The Machine’s interface, but The Machine assured Shaw that she wouldn't be in any danger. So far The Machine had kept her word.

 

It was an early Tuesday morning when Shaw caught Root looking at her pregnant belly in bedroom mirror, a sad look on her face.

 

Shaw got up and placed her hand on the small of Root’s back.

 

“Morning” Shaw said.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Are you okay?” Shaw asked  

 

“I never wanted to be a mother.” Root whispered.

 

 _Oh…_ This argument _again_ , they seemed to have it every week now.

 

“You don't understand Sameen, I love you and I trusted you to know me. To do right by me but instead you got me pregnant.” Root continued.

 

“I saw the look on your face when I said that we were trying for children. It was a look of pure joy.” Shaw defended. “And I did not ‘get you pregnant’, we are both women remember? Its not like I could accidentally knock you up.”

 

“That was not me and you know it. Also no it wasn't an accident, it was deliberate and you did the insemination remember?’ you actually did get me pregnant.” Root stated, her hand resting on her belly.

 

“So it’s all my fault because I did as you told me? Because I wanted you to be happy?” Shaw removed her hand and took a step away from Root.

 

“No Sameen I didn't say that. But this will fundamentally change our lives. We can’t risk it on missions anymore; our main priority will be the child, staying alive for the child. I am not happy about this, but it is done Sam. We will have this child and raise it, the best a psychopath and a sociopath can, and we will love it. But there will still be days where I will regret it, where I will be mad at you. You have to understand Sameen you broke my trust; you let me do this when I was unable to consent. “ Root explained, turning to face Shaw.

 

“‘Unable to consent’ you are making it sound like I _raped_ you.” Shaw said.

 

“ **NO**. Nothing like that Sameen, but this was not my choice, it’s like I was in a coma and woke up pregnant.” Root defended

 

“Whatever, I’m going to take a shower.” Shaw turned to leave when Root grabbed her hand.

 

“Shaw, don’t. I have a right to be mad about this.” Root said.

 

“Yes you do. But you keep bringing it up, how many times do I have to apologize before you realize that I am sorry.” Shaw raised her voice.

 

“You haven’t.”

 

“I haven’t what?” Shaw asked.

 

“You haven’t apologized. Not even _once_.” Root’s anger had fated into sadness.

 

Something in Shaw snapped. She turned, facing Root and grabbed her hands, looking into her eyes.

 

“I am sorry that I broke your trust Root, I am sorry that I got you pregnant.” Shaw said. There were no excuses this time just a heartfelt apology.

 

Root practically threw herself at her.

 

“I know. I wont bring it up again Sameen, but this has changed everything.”

 

“I know it has. But do you think in time you can forgive me?” Shaw asked, she had never felt this small before.

 

Root smirked.

 

“I think I can. On one condition.”

 

“Let me guess. You want to meet my mother.” Shaw said.

 

“Well now that you’ve suggested it Sweetie.” Root was smiling now.

 

Shaw let out a sigh.

 

“Guess it’s time to tell my mother that I’m not still in Afghanistan.”

 

It took Shaw a little more than a week to get the courage to contact her mother.

 

 

She decided to call her. Texting was too casual, a letter was too formal and just showing up would properly give her a heart attack.

 

The phone rang 2 times before a kind voice answered.

 

“Dr. Atefeh Shaw speaking.”

 

At the sound of her mother’s voice Shaw went speechless, her entire body felt heavy and her mouth felt like cotton. She couldn't do this.

 

“Hello?’ if this is some kind of prank I’m hanging up.” Her mother said after a few moments.

 

“Maamaan” Shaw whispered, her voice like a child.

 

“Sameen, _my_ _baby_ , is that you?” Her mother answered, her voice a bit strained.

 

“Yeah Maamaan, it is. I was wondering if we could meet?” Shaw asked.

 

“Of course Dear, when?’ oh we have so much catching up to do.” Atefeh said.

 

“How about tonight? Do you still live up state?” Shaw asked glancing at Root who was in her own world typing furiously on the laptop.

 

“Yes I do Dear, but I do have to warn you Sameen. I am seeing someone, his name is David and we both live here.” Her voice was firm; she needed Sameen to understand this.

 

“Oh… Well I that case, I need to tell you I’m bringing someone.” Shaw replied. What the fuck her mom was dating someone? Some guy named Dave?

 

“Oh really?’ that I wonderful Sameen. Who is he?” Atefeh asked thrilled.

 

“She is my wife. Her name is Root.” Shaw answered simply.

 

“ _What_? Sameen that is not acceptable! I raised you better that that” Her mom sounded mad, like the time she almost put a knife in the toaster mad.

 

“What?’ no you raised me to be with the person I care about no matter gender or religion. So don't you backtrack now and say that I can’t with the person that matters the most to me just because she’s a woman.” Shaw answered her voice was strong but she felt like her entire body was shaking with worry. Did her mother really not approve of Root because she was a woman? Would she disown her? Would she really care whether or not she was disowned?  

 

Then she heard her mother’s soft laughter.

 

“Oh Sameen, Love, I don't care who you love. What is unacceptable is the fact that you got married without me there, you took away my change to see my only child get married.” Atefeh explained.

 

 _Oh_.

 

“Oh. Right I am so sorry Maamaan, it was sort of sudden” Shaw tried to explain. How do you tell your mother that your ‘wife’ faked your signature on a three-year-old marriage license?

 

“You better explain everything when you come to dinner tonight young lady. “Atefeh said, though her voice sounded a little amused.

 

“I will Maamaan.” Shaw promised.

 

They agreed on a time before hanging up.

 

Shaw glanced over at Root to find her watching her, tears rolling down her cheeks.

 

“I am the person that matters most to you?” Root asked.

 

Damn it. Well no point in denying it.

 

“Yeah you are. I know I never tell you, but you mean so much to me Root. I am truly and deeply sorry for what I did to you and I know that I can’t change it but I am sorry.” Shaw said as she walked over and kneeled in front of Root.

 

 

“ I know that you are sorry and I am dealing with what happened, which is why I went to Bishop. I was so happy when you came for me. That was when I realized how much you mean this. I love you Sameen, I have for a long time and I am so glad that you have caught up with me. “ Root said. She knew deep down that with time she would forgive Shaw, she didn't know when but at some point she would be able to forgive her.

 

Shaw reached up and stroked Root’s tearstained cheek before saying.

 

“We are having dinner at my mom’s place at 8… her boyfriend Dave will be there.” The last part was said with dislike.  

 

“Sweetie, be nice. Also his name is David Ferring, he is 51 years old, born in Dallas, owns a law firm up state. His only run in with the law is a few speeding tickets, all paid. He was married to Jennifer Ferring for 20 years before she died of lung cancer 4 years ago. He has 2 sons. Peter and James Ferring.” Root said. Well repeated from The Machine.

 

“So?’ knowing stuff about him doesn't make me like him.” Shaw huffed.

 

Root smiled.

 

“No, but it did make you a little more comfortable.”

 

Okay yeah, that was true.

 

Shaw waited an hour before Root was ready to leave. They were going to be late.

 

Root had changed her clothes 7 times already. She was feeling self-conscious about her nearly 4 month pregnant belly being visible no matter what she wore.

 

Shaw walked up to her as she put on the 8th dress.

 

“Root stop. You look beautiful in everything you wear. It doesn’t matter that your belly is visible now, you are _stunning_ and that doesn’t change just because your stomach does.”

 

Turns out that was the right thing to say? Root started crying. Would this madness never end?

 

“That is the nicest thing you’ve ever said about my appearance.” Root said as she put on the first dress again.

 

_Thank fucking God._

 

It was green, knee length and cut under the bust, making room for the stomach. Root looked so gorgeous.

 

They were late, not only because of Root, but apparently everyone it the city had to go up state on this specific Friday.

 

They arrived at 8.38.

 

They sat in the car for a few moments. Shaw was breathing heavily.

 

**DING DONG.**

 

It took only seconds before the door opened.

 

“Sameen.” There stood Atefeh Shaw in all her glory. She looked exactly like Shaw, except for the eyes those were her fathers.

 

“Hey Maamaan” Shaw sounded nervous for the first time in forever.

 

Behind her David appeared.

 

“Hello Sameen, it’s nice to finally meet you, I’m David Ferring.” He extended his hand.

 

Root gave Shaw a slight nudge and she shook his hand.

 

Once they were all in the foyer Atefeh remembered her mannors and greeted Root.

 

“So you are the one who married my daughter?’ It’s nice to meet you.”

 

Root shifted her weight a bit and glanced at Shaw before answering.

 

“ Yes I am. And it’s nice to meet you too Dr. Shaw, I have been pestering Sameen about it.”

 

“Hehe yeah that sounds like my Sameen. And please call me Atefeh… or even Mom if you’d like.” Atefeh replied before putting her hand on Root’s shoulder. “And what may I call you Dear?”

 

“Oh I barely know what to say to that… eh my name is Samantha Gro- well Samantha Shaw now… but please just call me Root.” Root said with a blush.

 

“Root?’ that kind of an odd name.” David said.

 

“No it’s not, it’s my wife’s name. Do you have a problem with that Dave?” Sameen said harshly.

 

David glared at Shaw, Shaw glared at David, Atefeh glared at David and Root looked at the floor. It was marble.

 

“Let’s go eat.” Atefeh suggested before anyone could say anything.

 

“Yes, I’m starved.” Root said as she took off her coat.

 

Then Atefeh and David noticed for the first time.

 

“Oh dear your pregnant, Sameen why didn't you tell me?’ my grandchild is in there. My first grandbaby.” Atefeh was almost bobbling with happiness.

 

“Well that’s sort of why we are here… I couldn't tell you over the phone.” Shaw explained.

 

While they had drinks, iced tea for Root, both pairs shared their ‘first meeting’ story.

 

“Well I had been in a 14 hour surgery and really needed coffee, and the machine was broken so I had to go to the coffee shop around the block. Then this jerk showed up and not only cut in front of me but also bought the last muffin, so I started yelling at him, really making a scene. I won, because the idiot let me have the muffin and left. Two days later the idiot shows up with his son, who needs surgery, he brought me a muffin. A few weeks past before he asked me out and we have now been together for a year and a half.“ Atefeh explained with a fond smile.

 

“Aw that is so cute.” Root gushed.

 

Shaw tried not to roll her eyes. Shaw failed.

 

“So tell us Sameen, how did you two meet?” David asked.

 

“We’ve known each other for years, we work together and we got married. That’s it” Shaw said.

 

“I think we need a little more than that Dear.” Said Atefeh with a smile.

 

Thankfully Root took over.

 

“When we first met we didn’t know that we worked for the same person, we were both in private security, so we kind of had a mix up identity wise… she thought I was someone named Veronica and I thought she was the new top level guard… we… to put it nicely weren’t very fond of each other at that time. But we got assigned as partners and we got closer after traveling together, working together, training together and all that.” Root took a sip of iced tea before continuing.

 

“After what feels like forever I was complaining about how our boss kept calling me Ms. Groves, which I hated being called, so Sam straight up offered me her last name… I – eh misunderstood and thought is was a proposal, so I said yes and Sam just went with it. It wasn't until after the wedding she told me that it was actually a joke, but she was glad that we were married… we have been for 3 years now.”

 

“Wait 3 years?’ you have been married for 3 years and you are only telling me now?’ I thought it had been 6 months or something.” Atefeh said, a bit upset.

 

“Where do the two of you live?” David asked.

 

“We live in the city, in a nice apartment with two bedrooms and a nursery. And sometimes we have a dog” Shaw said vaguely.

 

“Sometimes?” David asked.

 

“Yeah a colleague of ours has him most of the time.” Shaw said.

 

“Colleague, he acts more like he’s your brother” Root said amused.

 

“I thought you said you saw him as your brother?’” Shaw asked.

 

“Well I was wrong back then, I think of him as my brother-in-law… and for him I’m properly the weirdo who married his sort-of-sister.” Root answered.

 

“Well… you are a weirdo.” Shaw said, a slight smile on her lips.

 

Atefeh noticed this small interaction and it warmed her heart, her daughter. Her closed off, cold daughter was loved.

Throughout the rest of dinner David kept staring at Root. 3 hours in and Shaw couldn't take it anymore.

 

“I know that she is hot but after 3 hours the staring is getting creepy.”

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just you look _so_ much like your mother.” David said looking Root straight in the eye. He hadn’t been able to piece it together before he had heard her last name. she was Natalie Groves' daughter.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “A mother gives you a life, a mother-in-law gives you her life.”  
> ― Amit Kalantri


	21. An assumption is the joke; truth the punchline.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root let out a deep breath. She looked at her self in the bathroom mirror. 
> 
> “Okay, next question why didn't you tell me?”

 

Root dropped her fork.

 

“My mom had an affair with a married man. Was that you?’ are you my father?”

 

“No, I’m not that idiot… I’m that idiot’s little brother.” He said.

 

Root motioned for him to go on.

 

“I was your mother’s best friend in high school. One week, in March, he came to visit me. He was a Math’s professor at college in the town he lived in and your mom was terrible at math, like at the point of failing. So I asked him to tutor her while he was there and he did… but that was also when you were conceived.”

 

Root was looking pale as a ghost as he continued his story.   

 

“After he had left, your mom found out that she was pregnant I begged my brother to acknowledge you and help you mother financially as I knew he would never divorce Allison. He refused, he told me that if I cared so much then I could marry her but I was already dating Jen at that time… you wont remember but you actually lived with me for the first 3 years of your life.” He finished.

 

“I lived with you?” Root asked.

 

“Yeah your grandfather was a fire and brimstone preacher, allowing his daughter to get pregnant out of wedlock was shameful… so he disowned her. Your grandmother, eh my mother, was so angry with Adam, your father, that she let you and your mother live with us and got her a job after you were born. When she died your mother got the house. The house you grew up in.” He finished with a small smile.

 

“So you are my uncle, I have family?” Root asked.

 

“Yeah Baby-Sam, you have family.”

 

“Baby-Sam?” Sameen asked.

 

Root and David both laughed a little.

 

“Yeah it’s what my mother used to call me as a child.” Root explained.

 

“Wow this certainly took an unexpected twist… if you’ll excuse me I need to use the bathroom.” Root said slowly standing up.

 

“Oh yes of course dear, upstairs then down the hall and third door to the left.” Atefeh explained.

 

Root nodded and left, she could hear them speaking in hushed voices as she walked away.

Once she was out of earshot she asked.

 

“Did you know?”

 

No reply came.

 

“This really isn’t the right time to go silent on me, I need to know, did you know that Atefeh’s boyfriend was my uncle?” this time her voice was firmer.

 

“I didn't know for certain, but I did know that he and your mother used to be friends and that his mother left the house to the two of you when she died. Adam Ferring’s name is not on you birth certificate, but after cross referencing all the dates where they could have met I calculated that there was at 83,952% chance that you’d be related to the Ferring’s.”

 

Root let out a deep breath. She looked at her self in the bathroom mirror.

 

“Okay, next question why didn't you tell me?”

 

“I wanted you to be unbiased when you met him.” Came the simple reply.

 

Before Root could ask another question there was a knock on the door. She knew it was Shaw.

 

“Root are you okay?’ can I come in?’” came Shaw’s voice from the other side of the door.

 

Root didn't answer but she did unlock the door.

 

“Are you okay?” She asked again

 

Root shook her head.

 

“I don’t know how to feel about this, all of this… I mean a baby with you I can handle, but this?’ this is too much.” Root said.

 

Shaw nodded. She never really knew what to say to Root, but she knew that Root responded positively to physical contact when she was upset.

 

Shaw reached out around Root’s steadily growing middle and pulled her into a hug.

 

After a moment Root whispered.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“What do you have to be sorry for?’ Dave is the idiot who sprung this on you.” Shaw answered a bit confused.

 

Root couldn't stop herself from laughing, a bit hysterically Shaw noted.

 

“No I mean this was supposed to be about you, you know?’ telling your mother that you aren’t MIA, assumed dead in Afghanistan. But instead I created drama.” Root explained looking down.

 

“Well first of all I think my mom always knew that I wasn't dead and you give yourself too much credit, you didn't create any drama Root, there is no drama just the two of us reconnecting with our families.” Shaw said stroking her hands up and down Root’s back to calm her down.

 

\--- Meanwhile downstairs---

 

“Correct me if I’m wrong but I thought that your daughter was dead?” David asked/stated.

 

“No dear, I said that she was assumed dead. But trust me I know the difference between ‘assumed dead’ and ‘dead.’ Sameen’s father was caught up in some shady stuff in our youth and I was a combat medic for two years, so I know not to accept that someone is actually dead until they send you a body.” Atefeh explained while clearing the table.

 

“So you knew that she wasn’t dead?” he asked.

 

Atefeh nodded.

 

“Sameen would never just die like that, she would go down in a blaze of glory, everyone would know that she had died honorably if she actually did die. But I assumed that whatever her new assignment was, it required that she died.”

 

“Well I guess that explains why you were always so calm about it.” David said.

 

“Well yes. But crying over it for years would not have brought her back either. She wouldn't have wanted me to cry over her like that.”

 

Atefeh turned so she was facing her.

 

“My turn. You never told me about Root.”

 

“Honestly I sort of- well not forgot- but I had put it out of my mind. Samantha ran away when she was 14 and her mother died a few years back so I never thought that I’d see either of them again.” David clarified.

 

“Did you ever look for her?” Atefeh probed.

 

David shook his head.

 

“By the time she ran away I lived here in New York with Jennifer and we had our sons to take care of… I didn't have time to look for her, I mean I wasn't even in the state anymore.” He defended. He looked a little ashamed.

 

“But that doesn't mean that I don’t care for her, I loved that girl like my own child. I was there when she was born, I was the second person to ever hold her, I was the one who cut her cord, who named her, who held her when she was christened and I was the one who got up at night when she cried… so no I didn't look for her after she ran away because I thought that she would come to me when she was ready.” He confessed.

 

“Really?’ you did all that and I still don’t remember you?” a voice came from behind him.

 

He turned to see Root standing there, holding Sameen’s hand.

 

“Yeah, but I don’t blame you I had to leave when you were three… Jen didn’t like how close your mother and I were so when I got a scholarship to NYU she made me accept it, I asked Natalie to come with me but she wanted you to grow up in Texas, even though the town were so mean to her.” He said taking a few steps towards Root.

 

Root stood as frozen, she didn’t want to move back and make him think that she didn’t like him, but she couldn't move forward either.

 

In the end Shaw was the one to step between them.

 

“We’ve had a long day and having this sprung on her didn’t help so I’m going to take my wife home.” Shaw said glaring a David, daring him to try and touch Root again.

 

David looked like he wanted to say something but Atefeh interrupted him.

 

“That's alright Dear, I have packed up some dessert for the two of you to enjoy at home, Root love come with me to get it please.” Atefeh motioned for Root to follow her into the kitchen.

 

When they were there Atefeh embraced Root, who froze for a moment before returning the hug.

 

“I just wanted to say that I am so, so glad that my Sameen has found someone to love her.” Atefeh said, as they pulled apart.

 

Root nodded.

 

“I do, she’s my entire life. I would kill for her and I would die for her.” Root said, truth evident in her strong voice.

 

Atefeh believed her when she said that, she honestly believed that Root would both die and kill for her daughter.

 

“There is something I need to tell you about Sameen, I know that she isn’t very forthcoming with information.” Atefeh said.

 

“If it is about her disorder then I already know. She did tell me.” Root replied.

 

“Oh. She did?’” Atefeh asked in wonder, she would never have guessed that Sameen would have told her anything, wife or not.

 

“Please understand Atefeh that I don’t want her to change. I love her just the way she is. Every little thing about her is beautiful, even her Axis II.” Root explained.

 

Atefeh felt like her heart was melting. Root was talking with such conviction that even her cynical heart believed that her Daughter-in-Law loved her daughter more than anything in her life.

 

\--- Meanwhile in the dining room---

 

“Okay lets get something out of the way, I know that you don’t like me and I’m not really fond of you either… but you are married to my niece and I want to be a part of her life again, please tell me how.” David asked.

 

“No I really don’t… you are hiding something and I’m going to find out what…you better not be her father, I will not be married to my step-sister… wait no don’t marry my mother.” Shaw poked him lightly in the chest before answering. “As for Root, give her time… right now she needs some time to think before she can make a decision.”

 

David nodded just before Atefeh and Root returned.

 

They said their goodbyes. Root hugged both Atefeh and David.

 

Shaw hugged her mother and shook David’s hand before turning to Root.

 

“Lets go home.” Shaw said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “An assumption is the joke; truth the punchline.”  
> ― Criss Jami, Killosophy


	22. In my cousin, I find a second self.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If David and your mother gets married it kinda makes us cousins.” Root said in a light voice.

 

Once they got to the car Root held her and out for the keys.

 

“Nope” Shaw said popping the ‘p’ “I’m driving, you seem distracted and I don’t want you to crash and you know… kill me.”

 

“If I wanted to kill you I wouldn't have to crash the car, I would just inject a steak with Pancuronium…” Root stopped when she saw the look on Shaw’s face. It was amusement.

 

“You have thought about this before haven’t you?” Shaw asked trying to keep her face from doing that ‘ _smiling_ ’ thing.

 

“Well yes Sweetie, if I ever killed you I would do you the courtesy of planning it out beautifully.” Root smirked.

 

“How would you kill me?” She asked playfully.

 

This was good. It kept her mind off all that stuff with _Dave_.

 

Shaw walked up to her, their bodies pressed together as much as Root’s belly would allow. She ran a hand through Root’s soft hair and leaned in.

 

“I would properly strangle you, that way your death would be ruled as ‘ _erotic asphyxiation_.’”

 

Root leaned her head back and laughed.

 

“Yeah, you would.” After a moment she said. “Nothing against your mother’s cooking but…eh… do you want to go get something edible?”

 

Shaw nodded. She was just as bad at cooking as her mother.

 

“Get in, we’ll order take-out when we get home or something.” Shaw said as she got in the driver seat.

 

Root gave up on driving and got in the passenger seat.

 

As they were driving Shaw felt Root’s eyes on her.

 

“What is it?” She finally asked.

 

“If David and your mother gets married it kinda makes us cousins.” Root said in a light voice.

 

Shaw’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel.

 

“Well that won’t happen because they won’t get married.” Shaw said.

 

Root continued like she didn’t hear her.

 

“It would make your mother my aunt and it would make my uncle my Step-father-in-law.” She mused.

 

Suddenly Root started laughing. It lasted for a few moments before she calmed down enough to say.

“That is such a southern cliché, ‘ _I married my cousin._ ’ That how I’m going to introduce you from now on ‘ _this is Sameen, my wife and cousin._ ”

 

And Shaw just couldn't help it she laughed.

 

“Well Step-cousin.” She said.

 

“Nope, just ‘cousin’ he is my actual uncle remember?’ if they married your mother would legally be my aunt and you’d be my cousin.” Root explained.

 

“If they get married we are getting divorced.” Shaw said.

 

Root nodded in agreement.

 

“It they get married we delete the papers and were never married at all… _Cousin_.”

 

“Well we might legally be cousins, but we’d be kissing cousins” Shaw said.

 

Root looked a bit surprised.

 

“You know what that is?”

 

“I didn’t grow up under a rock.” Shaw simply answered.

 

“I wouldn't know, you never talk about your childhood” Root mumbled.

 

“Wow hello pot, I’m kettle.” Shaw answered back only slightly annoyed.

 

“Okay, happiest childhood memory, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Root wiggled her eyebrows.

 

“Don't say stuff like that when you are talking about childhoods, it’s weird.” Shaw chastised.

 

“Go on tell me.” Root persisted.

 

Shaw knew that she didn’t really have to tell Root anything. Root would never push her like that, but for some reason she didn’t really mind telling Root, she knew that Root would never tell anyone but would cherish that she trusted her with it.

 

“It was my 6th birthday and everything went wrong. My mom had to stay late at the hospital due to a massive accident in a nearby factory, she had forgotten to send out invitations to my birthday party and she and my dad argued so long that the food burned… so Dad and I were alone with no guest and no food.” Shaw said as she pulled into the parking space in front of the 24 hours Chinese place.

 

Root wanted to hold her, but knew that if she wanted to be told anything she needed to let Sameen control the situation, as she so often did.  

 

“So my dad got up and told me to get my coat while he got something from his office, I wasn't allowed in his office. So we drove until we were surrounded by nothing but forest and sunset. He got few bottles and cans and placed them on these logs a few yards away and then he taught me how to shoot. I remember that it had to be our secret, mom couldn't know. So when she had long days we would drive far away and shoot stuff…” Shaw smiled a little as she trailed off.

 

“Thank you for telling me.”

 

Root slowly leaned forward and kissed her gently on the mouth.

 

When they parted Shaw traced her lips.

 

“Well I didn’t do it for free, now show me yours.”

 

Root leaned back in her seat and smiled a bit

 

“One week, a random school week, my mom decided that we were going to drive to Mexico and get real burritos… the trip was the best part, just before the border we hit this small town that was showing ‘The Little Mermaid’ in the theater and we snug in and watched it. We did make it to Mexico but I got food poisoning from the burrito and was in some Mexican hospital for a week extra… mom got me all these Spanish books that I couldn’t understand but I loved it when she would read it to me.”

 

Root sat up and unclicked her seatbelt.

 

“Of course a month after we got home she woke me up at 4 in the morning and slid her wrists in my bedroom. But still it was a nice trip.”

 

“Your mother tried to kill herself?” Shaw asked.

 

“Yeah, well only half kill herself, it usually wasn't really fatale so I managed to take care of her by myself most times or I’d ask Hanna’s mom for help, she was a nurse. I couldn’t tell anyone or they’d take me away.” Root said.

 

“Did she often try to kill herself?” Shaw questioned further.

 

“She was always Bipolar, but it only really went downhill after her father died and she wasn't allowed at the funeral.” Came the explanation. “It was another reason why I had to leave when I did.”

 

“I am sorry that happened to you.” Shaw said.

 

Root just nodded before leaving the car to go order food, Shaw followed behind her.

 

They ate at the restaurant and once again discussed baby names.

 

“I still don’t get why you have a problem with it.” Root said eating a dumpling.

 

“We are not naming a child ‘Hermione’ Root and that's final, end of discussion.”

 

“Well we aren’t naming the child ‘Wesson’ either.” Root countered.

 

“What about Clara for a girl and Samuel for a boy?” Root suggested.

 

“Samuel?’ what are we the Bates’?” Shaw asked.

 

“Oh please, it would be fun, Sameen, Samantha and Samuel Shaw.” Root said.

 

Shaw rolled her eyes.

 

“I can agree on Clara if her middle name can be Laleh. It’s Persian and it means tulip flower.” Shaw offered.

 

“Clara Laleh Shaw. I love it.” Root said. Her eyes were shiny with tears.

 

“Are you going to cry again?” Shaw asked

 

“No… you ass” Root said blinking the tears back.

 

“So Clara for a girl and Samuel for a boy?” Root asked.

 

“What is your fascination with the Sam, Sam, Sam ting?” Shaw asked.

 

Root smiled and shook her head.

 

“I’m not sure, I just like it.”

 

“Does it really mean that much to you?” Shaw asked while stuffing a spring roll into her mouth.

 

“Yeah it does… how about this, if it’s a girl we name her Laleh Clara and if it’s a boy we name Samuel -something- Shaw.” Root proposed.

 

“Please don’t name our son ‘Samuel Something Shaw.” Shaw said with a small smirk.

 

“Speaking of son, I’ve met your mother so I want something else when we have a daughter.” Root pointed out.

 

“…Okay… what do you want?’ 10 uninterrupted hours somewhere?” Shaw asked a little hopeful.

 

“Nope. I want a honeymoon. I want to take you somewhere, Paris, for a week just the two of us.” Root said with a smile.

 

Shaw watched her for a few moments.

 

“You better be a son, son.” She said while pointing a Root’s belly with her chopsticks.

 

Root laughed and placed one hand on the largest part of her stomach.

 

“Yes because this is the 1700 hundreds and if you aren’t a boy you are worthless.”

 

Shaw took a sip of her water before answering.

 

“If this was the 1700 hundreds we wouldn't be sitting here.”

 

“In this Chinese restaurant?” Root asked playfully.

 

Shaw rolled her eyes.

 

“No in general. My mother would be desperately trying to marry me off. As their only child it would be my ‘duty’ to marry well.”

 

“And me?” Root asked.

 

“You would be the illegitimate daughter of well off professor and despite the circumstances of your birth your company would be sought after, I’m woman enough to admit how damn charming you are. “ Shaw said giving Root a small wink.

 

“You’d properly marry some upper-middleclass lawyer or something, who fell blindly in love with you, and your uncle would tell you that with no family name or a sizable dowry you couldn't hope for better.” She finished.

 

Root nodded.

 

“So how did we meet?”

 

“Who said we did?”

 

“We would always meet sweetie.” Root pointed out.

 

“What like soulmates?” Shaw said and rolled her eyes.

 

“… So how did we meet?” Root asked again while stealing a piece of chicken from Shaw.

 

“We met through my mom and your uncle… the have been friends since my father died.”

 

“Sure ‘friends’” Root sniggered.

 

“Do you want me to tell the rest of the story?” Shaw asked.

 

Root nodded and made the ‘zipping’ motion over her mouth.

 

“My mother invited your uncle over, and as you were staying with him it was only polite to invite you as well.”

 

Shaw motioned the waiter for the check.

 

“I didn’t like you when we first met.”

 

Shaw paid.

 

Root tipped 10$.

 

“You didn’t?” Root asked while they walked to the car.

 

“No. I mean you were charming and all, my mom adored you, but there was something in the way you watched me. Like you see every secret I’ve ever had, as if it was written on my skin.” Shaw said while she drove.

 

“Could I?’ see all your secrets?” Root asked. She hoped Shaw didn't notice how much she was giving away.

 

“Maybe, you acted like it, it was all innuendoes and double meanings with you. It made me feel uneasy, which I never felt before.”

 

“Did we fall in love?” Root inquired. Would Shaw tell her, even indirectly, that she loved her?

 

“You loved me and I felt for you the closest I could come to love.” Shaw answered.

 

“But we never acted on it. You were to be married and would move away with your husband and I would stay in up state New York until I was forced into marrying or my mother died… we kept in touch but it wasn't the same.” Shaw explained.

“I prefer this then.” Root said after a few moments.  

     

Shaw looked at her.

“Yeah me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my cousin, I find a second self.  
> -Isabel Norton


	23. you're most beautiful on a Sunday in my t-shirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root is nest building... Shaw is eh going with the flow?

“You know we should paint the nursery.” Root said one morning as they were laying in bed.

 

“Isn’t that too early?” Shaw asked and received a look from Root that clearly meant that they were going to paint the nursery no matter what.

 

“What color do you think?’ I am thinking maybe a forest green or something.” Root pondered.

 

“I think that if we are going for gender neutral, we should chooses grey or yellow or maybe even navy blue.” Shaw suggested.

 

“Uhh that’s great, navy blue and a soft pink.” Root said sitting up.

 

Shaw nodded, she didn't really care what color the nursery was but if it mattered to Root she would participate in the project.

 

She could hear Root talking to The Machine in the bathroom; they had been talking much more lately. It made Root really happy.    

 

“No I’d prefer somewhere where we’d be able to buy furniture right away so the colors will match perfectly.” Root said while she brushed her hair.

 

Then the news came in her head, she dropped the brush and ran out to Shaw.

 

“It happened, it finally happened.” She said with a smile.

 

“What?’ did the baby kick?’” Shaw asked as Root jumped up and down on the floor in front of her.

 

“What?’ No I found the perfect place for us to live.” Root said taking a seat next to Shaw on the bed.

 

Now Shaw was confused and a bit mad. Did Root go apartment hunting without her?

 

“You did what?” Shaw asked.

 

“Well She did but I asked her to keep an eye out for somewhere safe, near a good school and with easy access to The Subway and she found it.” Root was still very excited.

 

“What is wrong with our apartment?” Shaw asked getting up.

 

“Well it’s kind of small and I mean we both know that we can afford better and I really want our child to grow up somewhere nice.” Root said.

 

“Root we only _just_ got this one and are you forgetting that our current identities are _permanent_? We have to live like a Tech developer and a detective would.” Shaw was putting on her clothes now. She was not having this conversation naked.

 

“And you know what?’ this apartment is nice, it has a soul, has the beginning of a story. We will have the child here, in our _home_ , and if at some time both of us feel like it then we will talk about moving.” Shaw said before turning and leaving the room.

 

Shaw went into the kitchen to make some coffee for herself, she refused to stop drinking coffee, or alcohol, just because Root had to.

 

She didn’t make breakfast she just stood there staring at the coffee drip down into the pot.

 

Then she felt arms wrap around her and a round belly poke into her back. Root kissed her hair, then her neck.

 

“I’m sorry” Root mumbled against her skin. “I shouldn’t have done it behind your back and I didn't know that this place meant so much to you… we will raise our child here and if we both agree then we can look into moving.”

 

Shaw nodded.

 

“I know that it’s silly. I normally never get attached to a location but there is something about this place that just makes it different.” Shaw explained before turning to face Root.

 

“Over there-” She pointed”- is where you tried to hang our wedding photo but you missed the nail and dented the wall.”

 

Root smiled brightly and pointed at the floor in front of the kitchen sink.

 

“And there is when you tried, and failed, to be a plumber resulting in water damages.”

 

“Those-” Shaw pointed at the light scratched in the kitchen table’s surface “- were when I bent you over and fucked you so hard that you actually clawed at the table.”

 

Shaw sounded proud and Root blushed.

 

“I see your point Sameen, this is our home now.” Root tried to nuzzle into Shaw but she had other plans.

 

She kissed Root fiercely on the mouth and moved her hands down to lift her t-shirt when Root broke away from her with a laugh.

 

“Sorry. It’s just you have morning breath.” Root tried to move away but Shaw held her tight.

 

“Oh really?’ but I thought you loved everything about me.” She smirked as she kept breathing into Root’s face.

 

“I do.” Root giggled still trying to get away.

 

“What does it feel like?’ loving me I mean.” Shaw asked when she finally released Root.

 

Root stopped and just stared at her for a while. How could she explain it? What if she scared her away?

 

“I could tell you that my love for you is as vast and deep as the ocean but I don’t think you’d appreciate it.” Root said leaning against the counter and looking at Shaw.

“The truth is that loving you feels pretty great. Whenever I’m with you, like now, I feel my whole world stopping and when you smile at me or do one of your small kind gestures it feels like the world turns on its head. You have become my… my reason for, well not for living, but for changing. I needed to be worthy of you.”

 

Root reached over and took Shaw’s hand.

 

“I can say with confidence that I’d kill for you, I’d die for you and if anything happened to you I would burn this city to the ground.” Root held Shaw’s gaze as she said this, she had to make sure that Shaw understood her.

 

Shaw smiled, a kind almost loving smile and squeezed Root’s hand.

 

“I know you would, little psycho.”

 

“ _Your_ little Psycho.”

 

“ I can’t say all that romantic bullshit, you know.” Shaw said. “I could tell you that you turn the volume up, and you do but it’s more than that.”

 

“To me you are like my Nano.”

 

Root looked at her with that adorably confused look.

 

“My favorite gun, the _perfect_ gun. It has the right amount of power and force.”

 

Shaw brought her hands up Root’s arms and down her sides gently.

 

“The right size.”

 

Her hands were now on Root’s breast, squeezing. Then she brought them around her back and down to Root’s ass.

 

“It’s accommodating to your needs.”

 

Root giggled.

 

“And it’s best-in-class”

 

“So you are saying that I’m like your favorite gun?” Root asked with a smile.

 

Shaw nodded.

 

“There is non other I want in my hand. You are my favorite person in the world, I honestly think that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

 

Root kissed her.

 

They kept kissing.

 

They both got dressed, ate breakfast and brushed their teeth.

 

“I don’t actually know how to play poker, I just know how to cheat.” Root said once they were in the car.

 

Shaw turned to look at her briefly.

 

“I knew it! There is no way you could have beaten both me and Reese without cheating.”

 

“Well then you should teach me.” Root said in a flirty tone.

 

“Yeah no, I think you’d be too good at it.” Shaw replied.

 

“Tell me something random about yourself.” Root insisted.

 

“Hmm do you deserve it?” Shaw teased.

 

“Sameen.”

 

“Fine. I didn't learn how to swim until I was 12.” Shaw confessed.

 

They parked in front of the large warehouse looking baby store.

 

“Hello my name is Ryan how may I help you today?” the smiling man in the horrible green and white uniform said.

 

Root smiled, the ‘suburban housewife smile’

 

“Hello, yes my wife and I are expecting and are looking to decorate the nursery.” Root answered.

 

“Congratulations, you look beautiful ma’am, so what are you thinking in regards to the nursery?”

 

“We want the gender to be a surprise so we are looking for some neutral colors.”

 

“Well we have a great selection on gender neutral colors Mrs…”

 

“Mrs. Shaw.” Root said proudly.

 

Shaw would be lying if she tried to claim that she didn’t like it just a little when Root said that.

 

“Mrs. And Mrs. Shaw then please follow me, over here to the left we have some earth tones…”

 

“Actually Ryan we are looking for navy blue and pink.” Shaw said.

 

“Ah yes a popular choice, but if I could recommend something?” He offered.    

 

Shaw nodded.

 

“Go with beige and light blue it will be more soothing for the baby and if you feel like you need to add something more ‘feminine’ then a soft pastel pink goes well with the color theme.” He offered with a polite smile.

 

Honestly Shaw was a bit impressed she had thought they guy was only 'sales' and didn't really care about this baby stuff but he clearly did.

 

“Ohh that would be so pretty.” Root gushed.

 

They spend hours picking out furnisher. Root vetoed almost everything they were shown.

 

Shaw wanted something modern and minimalistic, for convenience.

 

Root wanted something traditional and decorative.      

 

In the end they compromised.

 

Root would get to decorate when the kid got older but right now the baby would get a simple nursery.

 

Most of the things they ordered wasn't in stock and had to be delivered sometime next week, which gave them time to paint the nursery before hand, Shaw liked this idea.

 

When they got home they ate and changed into something they could paint it. For Shaw this meant and old faded black tank top and sweatpants and for Root it meant one of Shaw’s old t-shirts, it had ‘Gun violence is fun violence’ written across the chest, and a pair of old pink PJ bottoms.

 

Shaw started by painting the end wall beige, Root painted the side one blue. Shaw was impatient and accidentally hit Root’s are with the wet roller brush.

 

“Eiik!” Root turned. “You did not just do that.”

 

“It was an accident.” Shaw quickly said.

 

“Accident my ass. You did that on purpose” Root had a worrying gleam in her eyes.

 

“No Root I swear it did-“

 

Shaw was cut off when Root slashed her brush with blue paint across her chest.

 

That was how the infamous paint war of 2016 began.

 

They were both panting by the time they were covered in mixing beige and blue paint, the walls splattered.

 

“That went well.” Shaw said.

 

“Honestly?’ I like this better, it’s more us” Root said taking in the mixing paint all over the room.

 

Shaw stood in front of the blue wall and touched the surface. It was dry enough to be written on. She took a small brush and dipped it in beige paint and began while Root watched.

 

“یه توپ دارم قل قلیه”

 

Followed by.

 

” سرخ و سفید و آبیه”

 

”میزنم زمین هوا میره”

 

” نمیدونی تا کجا میره”

 

” مشقامو خوب نوشتم”

 

” بابام بهم عیدی داد”

 

” یه توپ قل قلی داد”

 

When Shaw had finished writing Root touched her shoulder gently.

 

“What does it say?” She asked.

 

“It’s a nursery rhyme ‘Ye toop daram’ my mother used to sing it to me, she also wrote it on a wall in my room, her mother also sang it to her and so on for generations… I just wanted to do the same for our child.” Shaw explained suddenly feeling vulnerable.

 

Shaw turned when she heard soft sobbing. Root was crying again.

 

Shaw hugged her and softly started singing.

 

They were interrupted when Shaw’s phone went off.

 

“What Finch?” She growled.

 

“I’m sorry if I catch you at a bad time but you are needed here Mr. Reese got shot.”

 

Shaw sighed.

 

“I’m leaving now. Where did he get shot?” Shaw asked while leaving the room to get her car keys.

 

“In the shoulder from the back. The bullet is still in there and he is getting worse.” Finch clarified in his usually worried tone.

 

Shaw put on her jacket and called to Root that she was leaving after hanging up on Finch.

 

When she made it to The Subway she found John face down on the couch his right shoulder bleeding under a soaked cloth.

 

Shaw unzipped her jacket and went to work.

 

“Aghh!” He yelled as she dug out the bullet with a pair of tweezers.

 

“You big baby even Root handles this more gracefully than you.” Shaw teased.

 

“Yeah well, Root is properly more used to having you roughly dig around in a bodily opening with an inanimate object.” John retorted.

 

Shaw stabbed the tweezers back into the wound.

 

“Watch how to talk about my wife, Asshole.”

 

Before John could say anything Finch spoke.

 

“Miss Shaw, is that paint on your chest?”

 

Shaw began cleaning the wound before responding.

 

“Why are you looking at my chest Finch?” Shaw asked not looking op.

 

Finch blushed violently and began to stammer out an answer.

 

“I- eh- It wasn’t like- miss Shaw I would nev-“

 

“Relax Finch, she is teasing you.” John said while Shaw began on the sutures.  

 

Shaw smirked a little but remained silent.

 

When she came home it was late, way after dinner late. She heard laugher from the bedroom.

 

But there were no new shoes in the hallway, no new jacket hanging on the coat rack.

 

Who was in there with Root?

 

Shaw walked through the apartment and silently pushed the door open.

 

There was Root freshly showered, in PJ’s and talking to The Machine.

 

“… No way, really?’ wow that’s just wow” Root said smiling up at the ceiling.

 

“What’s just wow?” Shaw asked as she entered.

 

“Sameen, you are back.” Root sat up in the bed and smiled at her.

 

“Yeah sorry it took a while John was being a baby and tore the first stitching I did.” Shaw said while taking off her clothes.

 

“What were you two talking about?” She asked.

 

“She was telling me about this young Danish scientist who is working on a very promising ‘neo Band-Aid’, which in theory should be able to repair broken brain connections.“ Root said amazed.

 

“How does She know about this? It seems like something that would be kept a secret.” Shaw said now getting into bed in only a tank top and panties.

 

Root liked it when Shaw refered to The Machine as 'She' so she tried to remember it.  

 

“It is, She accessed the server and told me about this amazing new discovery.”

 

“Well who knows maybe in a few year that tech will be public knowledge.” Shaw yawned.

 

“The song you wrote on the wall ‘Te toop daram’ will you sing it again?” Root asked a bit shy.

 

“‘Ye toop daram’” Shaw corrected but began singing anyway.

  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Du' så go' i din sommerkjol',  
> men du' smukkest på en søndag i min t-shirt.  
> \- Smukkest på en søndag, Joey Moe


	24. Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Root and I have no intention of getting divorced so we wont need it.” Shaw answered her anger returning.
> 
> “Well you never know.” David said looking almost hopeful.

“Your mom just called. They are coming over for dinner on Friday” Root said as Shaw entered the apartment.

“What?’ no, they can’t come here… the nursery is a mess and also I don’t want them to.” Shaw said in a slightly whiney tone.

“Get over it Sam, they will be here Friday at 7.” Root said.

“We will have to repaint the nursery then.” Shaw insisted.

“Nah it’s fine.” Root shrugged.

“Did you just say ‘ _nah_ ’?” Shaw asked a smile playing on her lips.

“So?”

“In all the time I’ve know you I’ve never, ever, heard you say ‘nah’”

“My point is that I kinda like the nursery the way it is.” Root defended.

Shaw rolled her eyes, grabbed Root’s hand and dragged her into the room that would be the nursery, once the furnisher arrived.

The room was on the small side with the window on the now beige wall facing the other building.

In all honesty the room was a mess. After the paint war and the nursery rhyme they had decided to get ‘creative.’

Root had written ‘Your moms love you’ in binary code, which was so much longer that Shaw had anticipated.

So next to the entirety of ‘Ye toop daram’ was written.

“01011001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101101 01101111 01101101 01110011 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000”

The numbers made zero sense to Shaw.

They had also decided to paint stuff on the blue sidewall with the beige splotched.

Root painted a motorcycle. It looked like a banana with wheels.

Shaw painted two guns.

Root tried, and failed, at drawing the two of them. It ended up at one very tall stick figure and one very short stick figure, with big breasts.

Shaw found it offensive.

“This room is a mess Root, my mother will think so too” Shaw tried. “There is even paint in the ceiling, who did we get it up there?”

Root took a deep breath then released it.

So maybe Shaw was right, just a little, they had gotten paint everywhere the back wall was a weird mixture of beige and blue from when Shaw threw the paintbrush and it smacked against the wall.

“Fine but we get to write our stuff again.” Root bargained.

“Yeah, we both write on each of the sidewalls… _but_ we have to paint it before my mother gets here.” Shaw agreed.

Root was about to answer when she got that calm vacant look on her face.

“She wants you to know that there is a very exciting number for you. You’ll need to get your guns, oh and do you speak Spanish?” Root asked.

“Yes finally. And yeah I speak Spanish, why?” Shaw was already looking for her guns.

“No reason, I just wanted to know, it’s hot.” Root pointed to the drawer where she put Shaw’s guns, last time they were on the couch.

Shaw picked up her guns and rolled her eyes at Root.

“Do you speak Spanish?” Shaw asked.

“I’m from south Texas Sam, what do you think.”

“Hey don’t get snappy with me.” Shaw said turning away to hide her smirk.

Shaw grabbed her car keys and opened the front door.

“Bye” She called.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Root asked with her arms crossed.

Shaw patted at her pockets.

“Eh no?” she said a little uncertain.

Root walked up to her placed her fingers under her chin to tilt up her head up and kissed her softly on the lips.

“There, now you can go.” Root said before turning to leave with swaying hips.

Damn if that wasn't hot.

The number was indeed a fun one.

A wife had discovered her husband’s mistress, slept with her, taped it and played it for her husband in revenge.

The husband had then decided to kill the mistress for sleeping with his wife and the wife for cheating on him.

So yeah Shaw had really enjoyed putting a bullet in his knee, and foot.

As a bonus it looked like the wife and the mistress were getting a little more that friendly.

Root was going to appreciate the fairytale ending.

Shaw didn’t return home right away. She decided to go to the Subway to see if she could help.

When she got there she found Finch at the computer, typing away, with Bear sleeping on the couch.

“Where is Reese?” Shaw asked while siting down to pet Bear.

“Mr. Reese is dealing with a repeat number.” Finch said not looking away from the computer.

“Leon?” Shaw asked knowing.

“Yes, it appears that he decided to con some mobster who figured it out.”

“Oh Leon, he just never learns.” Shaw said with a little smirk on her lips.

Shaw was about to leave when she got the next number.

Some witness to a murder. She saved the guy and zip-tied the prep’s hands together behind his back before dropping him off at the police station with a broken nose.

She was on her way back when she got another number.

A young girl with a stalker, who decide to take it to the next level.

The girl was saved, and forced to tell her parents about the guy who was also dropped off at the station.

Her fourth number for the day came as she was buying a hot dog from a street venter.

An elderly man who was planning on killing his son-in-law.  

Throughout the day numbers just kept coming, like everyone in New York had decided that today was the _perfect_ day for murder.  

When she finally returned home it was dinnertime already.

“Honey, you’re home.” She heard once she had shut the door behind her.

“You know normal people would get worried when they visit their wife’s work and they haven’t been there in hours.” Root called from the kitchen.

“Yeah well you aren’t exactly normal.” Shaw replied entering the kitchen finding Walter sitting on a chair with a beer in his hand.

“Hey Shaw, your wife enlisted me to help paint the nursery.” He said.

“Yeah and he thought I was artistic.” Root said without turning away from her cooking.

Walter smiled and shook his head ‘no’ at Shaw.

“So the nursery is painted done, we just need to do the writing tomorrow.” Root said.

Shaw took a beer from the fridge.

“Nice.”

“I invited Walter to stay for dinner Sweetie, would you set the table?”

\------------------------------------------------

After The Machine had informed Root of Shaw’s long day she decided to make steak and mashed potatoes, as a reward.

The dinner was light hearted very domestic. Walter was cracking jokes and wild tales from his military time, Shaw was calming that most of it was bullshit and Root was just looking lovingly at Shaw the entire time.    

The week passed quickly and before they knew it, it was Friday.

They had finished painting on Tuesday, gotten the furniture on Wednesday and finished decorating on Thursday.

The room now stood with it’s side walls a nice beige and blue end walls, Shaw had written on the right side wall and Root on the left.

The crib was a matte white, very minimalistic, it matched the rest of furniture perfectly.

Root had decided on lasagna with a side of shredded carrots for dinner.

Shaw had been working a number, on the promise that she would be home before the guests got there, and Root had been stressing; cleaning, shopping, cleaning (again), and cooking.

Shaw got home an hour before her mother and Root’s uncle were supposed to arrive.

She took a quick shower and tired to clam Root down from her neurotic state.    

The greetings once they arrived were a little awkward, Atefeh had hugged both Root and Shaw, David nodded at Shaw and tried to hug Root, it ended in a handshake.

Root gave them the tour around the apartment while Shaw found something to drink.

Atefeh gasped when she saw the, albeit fake, wedding photo hanging in the bedroom and demanded that she’d get a copy for her office.

Then she showed them the study/ where Shaw kept her workout stuff, and guns.

The study was in general a mess, with computers, Frankenstein computers and hard drives mixed with weights, a mat and a Century Bob Punching Bag.

The last room they were showed was the nursery, by then Shaw had joined them.

Atefeh actually cried when she saw ‘Ye toop daram’ written on the wall.

“Sameen, my love, you have no idea how much this means to me.”

“It’s just a silly tradition mom.” Shaw said looking away.

“No love, it’s is you growing up and settling down with a family of your own, which is everything I could hope for. You father would be so proud.” Atefeh said taking Shaw’s hand for a moment.

“What does that mean?” David said pointing to the binary code Root had written on the other wall.

“Oh that, that is binary code. It means ‘Your moms love you.’” Root answered.

“That is lovely sweetheart.” Atefeh said smiling at Root.

Atefeh looked up.

“Is that paint in the ceiling?” She asked.

“Come on, let’s eat.” Shaw replied.

\----------------------------------------------------

“So, Sameen are you going to adopt the baby once it’s born?” David asked, as they were finishing dinner.

“Sorry?” Shaw asked.

“Oh, I’m just saying that legally speaking you don’t really have any rights regarding your wife’s child… so if Samantha decided to get a divorce it would only be her child in the eyes if the law.” David explained.

“ _Root_ and I have no intention of getting divorced so we wont need it.” Shaw answered her anger returning.

“Well you never know.” David said looking almost hopeful.

“David, stop it.” Atefeh scolded.

“I think we should arrange for you to adopt the baby once it’s born and, I’m sorry Atefeh, but I think you should leave.” Root said standing up.

“Samant-“ David began but he was cut off by a sharp gasp of pain coming from Root.

Root bend a bit and clenched the side of her stomach.

“Root are you okay?” Shaw asked hurrying over to her.

Root gasped again but nodded.

“She is kicking.” She said taking Shaw’s hand and placing it on her belly where the baby was kicking.

Shaw felt it underneath her palm, her son’s strong kicks, and felt a sense of pride.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. ~Rita Rudner


	25. I know I got a lot of love and a happy home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello, I am calling from the General hospital. I am looking for the wife of Sameen Shaw”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. i have like 5 exams and 2 projects during the past week and the next 3. :/
> 
> Title: Happy Home Lukas Graham

“Root is right, I think you should leave… I’ll take a cab home.” Atefeh said softly while Shaw and Root were having a moment.

”Atefeh come on.” David tried.

“No David, you are leaving. I’ll stay here with my daughter and daughter-in-law.” Atefeh said in a no-nonsense-tone.

Wordlessly David nodded and left.

“So, you’re staying mom?” Shaw asked once Root had sat down.

“Yes, I’m sorry about David… he uhm… he is finding all of this a little hard.” Atefeh said gently.

“What is he finding hard? The fact that he is seeing his niece for the first time in 3 decades?” Shaw asked harshly.

“No… I think it’s the fact that I am married to a woman.” Root said before taking a sip of iced tea.

“Oh so he is just a homophobe.” Shaw said.

Atefeh’s mouth tightend, then she nodded.

“Yeah well it’s not really surprising, I mean my mother was really homophobic as well.” Root said with a sad smile.

“So since the first time he met us he has minded the fact that we are married?” Shaw asked.

Again Atefeh could only nod.

“And you’re okay with that? That he hates the idea of your daughter being married to his niece?” Shaw was getting angry, both Atefeh and Root could feel it.

“We don’t discuss it all that much Sameen.” Replied Atefeh.

“Well isn’t that just great.” Shaw said sarcastically and got up from her seat.

She turned and headed for the door.

“Sameen where are you going?” Root called after her trying getting up from her seat.

“Out.” Was replied just before the door slammed.

 

The two women stared at each other before Root broke the silence.

“I’m sorry, she isn’t usually lik-“

But Atefeh cut her off with a soft sigh.

“You don’t have to teach me about my own daughter my dear, I know her fits of anger very well.”

“I know, I’m sor-“

“Oh my dear, save the ‘I’m sorry’s’ you chose to marry her so trust me you’ll need them in the future.”

Atefeh had gotten up to clear the table.

“Oh no Atefeh you shouldn’t…” Root tried.

“Nonsense, you are carrying my grandbaby in there the least I can do is clear the table.”

Root nodded and sat back. This day had been a disaster.

“Atefeh can I ask you something?” Root asked quietly

“What was that dear? I didn’t hear you” Atefeh answered as she returned from the kitchen

“ I was wondering if I could ask you something?” Root replied

“Of course, go ahead” She said and took a seat.

“How was Sameen before her father died? Can she… could she love?” Root asked.

“Oh dear, if you are wondering whether she loves you or will love the baby I can’t really answer, but the fact that she is here with you speaks for it self.” Atefeh said.

 

“But she is not. She isn’t here with me and every time she leaves like this I worry that she wont come back, that she has left me for good.” Root’s voice had weakened as she spoke and her eyes were filling with tears.

“Samantha dear, my daughter adores you. She has moved in with you, married you and the two of you are expecting a baby. Trust me she won’t leave you, or she’d done so long ago” Atefeh said trying to calm Root down.

“But to answer your question, Sameen was always a distant child. I wanted to take her to a Psychologist because I feared that she might be a sociopath, but her father refused. After his death I honored his wishes, but Sameen became colder, more violent and unpredictable. It left no doubt in my mind about my daughter’s mental health” Atefeh took Root’s hand. “But I can see that her time with you has been good for her, it has calmed her, grounded her.”  

“I told you that I don't want her to change, that I love her as she is and I do. But I know what it’s like to grow up with a parent that doesn’t love you.” Root said

“And sometimes, just sometime, I wonder if I’d be better off raising the baby alone”

Atefeh looked at Root as tears fell down her cheeks.

“ I can’t tell you what to do my dear, but I am a selfish woman and I know that no matter what my daughter is better off with you” Atefeh answered

Root nodded.

“I love her so much and what she has to give in return is enough for me, but what if it won’t be for the baby?”

“Then that baby will still have a mother and a grandmother who loves it more than anything in the world” Atefeh smiled and gave Root a serviette to dry her tears.

Root took a sip of her iced tea, and then her phone rang.

 

“Hello” she said her voice a little hoarse from crying.

“Hello, I am calling from the General Hospital. I am looking for the wife of Sameen Shaw”

Root felt a chill go down her spine.

“That's me, Samantha Shaw, what’s happened to my wife?”

“ Your wife was involved in a car accident, she is with the doctor right now, you should come down here Mrs. Shaw” The nurse said.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes” Root said and hung up.

“What’s happened to Sameen” Atefeh asked, worry clear in her tone

“She was in a car accident, come on I’ll drive” Root said.

 

When they finally made it to the hospital Root all but ran to the information desk.

“I’m looking for my wife Sameen Shaw.” She said.

Before the nurse could even answer a voice called from down the hall.

“Mrs. Shaw”

“Yes.” Answered both Root and Atefeh at the same time but the doctor wasn't fazed by it.

“Sameen Shaw is in this room.”

Root power walked to the room with Atefeh in tow.

“Oh God, Sameen” Root said.

Shaw was on the hospital bed, restrained, with one nurse trying to sedate her and another trying to put her arm in a cast without further damaging it.

“I assume that you are the wife?” the doctor asked Root

Root nodded.

 

“Your wife has suffered from a concussion and has a simple fracture of her left Radius, eh her forearm bone, we have managed to set it but your wife is proving to be a very difficult patient and kept trying to leave.” The doctor explained.

“Explains the restrains” Atefeh mumbled.  

“We are hoping you can calm her down, she has been slipping a bit in and out of consciousness and has demanded we’d get you in here the moment you arrived.” The nurse who had now successfully injected Shaw with whatever was in the needle said.

Root walked over to Shaw who was still trashing, trying to get away.

 

“Sameen, I know that they gave you something and at this point you hate needles as much as I do, but you aren’t there anymore. You are right here with me and your mother, I am pregnant you know and if I win our bet I’ll take you to Paris” Root said while stroking Shaw’s hair.

Atefeh looked on, trying to make sense of what Root was saying.

Shaw stilled a bit but was still weakly moving her good arm around.

“Maybe I should change the bet so if I win we’ll both get ‘4AF’ Tattooed somewhere.” Root teased softly.

Shaw stopped moving.

The nurse and the doctor had to reset her arm from all the trashing about, but they managed to reset it and put a cast on her before Shaw woke up.

 

“Hey Sweetie” Root said when Shaw opened her eyes. “Your mom is just getting a coffee, she’ll be right back.”

“Who are you?” Shaw asked frowning.

“Sameen?” Root said in a small voice.

“I’m just kidding Root” Shaw said with a small, tired, smirk.

“You ass! You absolutely terrible Asshole!” Root yelled at her.

“You should have seen your face.” Shaw said.

“That was not funny Shaw” Root said clearly upset

“Sorry, I just had to, now you know how it felt having someone you care about not recognize you.” Shaw replied reaching out with her right hand to touch Root.

Root let Shaw take her hand but was still a little mad.

“I ruined your bike by the way.” Shaw confessed after Root had calmed a little.

“I don’t care about the stupid bike Sameen, when I got the call I thought I’d lost you. And when you were trashing about here I thought you’d relapsed.” Root explained.

“I’m sorry Root, I didn't mean to scare you” Shaw said looking down at their joined hands.

“I know that Sameen, but you did” Root said

 

Shaw was about to reply when Atefeh walked in.

“Oh Dear, you’re awake” She said placing the cup of coffee on the table and giving Root a cup of tea.

“Yeah it felt like they gave me horse tranquillizer or something.” Shaw said.

“That’s what your get for being a terror of a patient” Atefeh said, she then pointed to Shaw’s cast “and that’s what you get for riding a donor cycle, honestly Sameen you are getting to old for that”  

“What? It’s Root’s bike, it’s not even mine” Shaw tried to defend herself.

“Root is that true?” Atefeh asked

 

“Yes ma’am” Root answered, feeling like a child.

“I expected better from you dear. You are not to get a new one is that clear?” Atefeh said firmly.

“Yes ma’am” Root said.

“Good. Now let’s see about getting your home” Atefeh said and went to look for a doctor.

 

“That is the second time you’ve saved me with four alarm fire you know” Shaw said

“Really? So it did work, I thought it was the drugs.” Root said.

“No that was all you, when you talked about getting tattoos of ‘4AF’ I knew that it was real, that I wasn't there anymore” Shaw said softly, like she was nervous.  

Root smiled and leaned down to kiss her. It was meant to be a peck but every feeling bubbled up at once and it took a turn.

 

Shaw was pleasantly surprised when she felt Root’s tongue at her lips and parted them to give her access. The kiss wasn’t heated like their kisses usually were, this one was soft and slow, and Shaw could feel everything Root was trying to say.

Their tongues met and Shaw took control for a moment to change venue and guided Root back so Shaw was now softly exploring Root’s mouth, she tasted like lemon tea.

 

Someone cleared their throat. Root and Shaw broke apart.

The doctor and her mother were standing in the doorway.

“I wanted to keep you here overnight for observation, but your mother said that you both she and you are doctors yourselves and that your wife has basic medical training.” The doctor spoke before entering the room “So I have decided to discharge you into the loving care of your wife and mother.”

“Finally, wait and mother?” Shaw asked.

“Yes, I am only letting you go on the condition that your mother spends the night to keep watch on any indications of brain damage” The doctor replied.

Shaw groaned.

“You will try anything wont you mother?” Shaw asked.

“I don’t know what you are talking about dear.” Atefeh said in a overly sweet tone.

Root let out a soft giggle.          

“Either way it’s late and you should spend the night Atefeh” She offered much to Shaw’s dismay.

“Thank you dear, see that’s why Root is my favorite daughter” Atefeh teased

“Whatever, just give me a jacket or something so we can leave” Shaw said

Atefeh took off her jacket and helped Shaw put it on one arm and over the other.

 

Shaw was growling at the nurse the entire time she was rolled in a wheelchair to the front door.

 

Once they were finally home Root gave Shaw some painkillers and helped her undress for bed. She laid down next to her under the duvet.

“I’m sorry I stormed out” Shaw said after a while.

“I know, it’s okay” Root answered

“No it’s not, it’s just, I know that I don't deserve you and to have David so openly dislike me, it just… I don't know” Shaw trailed off.

“Sameen we have both done some terrible things in our lives, enough to make us think that we don't deserve to be happy. But we do, we have worked hard to get to this point, and I love you more than anything so I don't care if some estranged uncle disapproves” Root responded.

 

“Root… I am scared… for the first time this isn’t just about me… I have to think about more that myself and more that ‘the cause’ and I don't know what to do” Shaw said, clearly the painkillers were working.

“I am scared too Sameen, this is so new, but as long as I know that I have you, that you are in it with me, I know I can do it… so are you Sam? Are you in this?” Root asked.

Shaw trued her head to look at Root. She studied her face for what felt like forever. Memorizing every like and curve.

“Yes Root I am in this with you. I want this.” She finally replied.

Root smiled brightly and kissed Shaw hard on the lips, she parted her lips for Shaw tongue.

 

**Knock Knock**

“I’ll wake you in two hours Sameen” Atefeh called.

Shaw fell back in the bed, groaning.  

 


	26. whose wife is it anyways?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaw lets John borrow her wife...

Shaw had always hated December, not because of Christmas, but because of the snow. It always got in the way of everything, it was cold and all the warm clothes were so restricting.

But Root loved snow more than anything, Shaw knows that she grew up in southern Texas and properly didn't see snow until she ran away, so she indulges her. Right now they are in the park, it’s early December and Root is so covered in layers that you can barely see her now five month pregnant belly.

 

They’ve been having a snowball fight, the best Shaw could with her cast, and walking around for two hours when Root suddenly remembers the lunch reservations she had made at a near by restaurant.    

 

“Hey I’ve reserved a table?” She says to the host once they’d finally made it there.

 

“Name please?” He asks politely

 

“Oh right, Samantha Shaw and this is my wife and cousin Sameen” Root says with a thick Texan accent and an innocent expression as she gestures to Shaw.

 

Shaw’s jaw drops. She watches as the host tries to keep his expression neutral, but a small frown still shows up.

 

“Of course, right this way ma’am.” He turns and leads them to their table.

 

“What the fuck Root, why’d you do that?” Shaw asked once they’ve sat down.

 

Root laughed.

 

“Oh you should see your face. I told you that I’d introduce you as my ‘wife and cousin’ didn't I” Root said reaching for a piece of bread placed on the table. Shaw slapped her hand away.

 

“Yeah but I didn't think you’d actually do it. Did you see that guy? He looked almost scared.”

 

Once the waiter came they ordered their food and waited.

 

“I hate not being able to work you know” Shaw said out of nowhere.

 

“I know Sweetie, I do too, but it’s only for 4 more weeks” Root said kindly.

 

“Ah don't remind me.” Shaw groaned.

 

They kept talking about nothing and everything until they left to eat pizza at home, it was Root’s turn to choose the movie, Shaw had a feeling that she would want to kill herself for the duration of whatever Root chose.

 

Root chose The Road to El Dorado, Shaw didn't hate it as much as she’d thought.

 

The next morning, while Shaw was doing sit-ups on the living room floor and Root was making break fast, a knock came on the door.

 

“Come in John!” Root yelled from the kitchen.

 

Had Root invited him? Shaw wondered.

 

“Hey” John said, shifting his weight from side to side.

 

“She said you needed help with something.” Root said as she handed him a cup of fresh coffee.

 

“Thank you. Yes I need you to be my wife.” John said out of nowhere and pulled a plain gold band out of his pocket.

 

“What? Why? No.” Shaw said and quickly stood up.

 

John turned to Shaw.

 

“Our number is the leader of a really prestigious boarding school, where you sign your kids up before they are even born and due to the fact they I’ve donated a lot of money, my wife and I’ve gotten a special meeting with her to get a spot for my unborn child.”

 

Root nodded.

 

“And so you need not only someone to play your wife, but someone who is actually pregnant.”

 

“Yeah, and I know what you are thinking but I promise you wont be in any dan-“ John tried

 

“I’ll do it” Root said before he could finish.

 

“What?” No, Root you were supposed to be relaxing, remember?” Shaw said

 

“I know, I love you Sweetie but I am so bored. I need to see something other than this apartment.” Root said before kissing Shaw on the cheek.

 

“The meeting is in one and a half hour, so get ready and I’ll wait here.” John said and sat down on the couch. Like he owned the place.

 

Shaw glared at him and walked into the kitchen to finish breakfast while Root quickly showered.

 

After exactly one hour Root entered the living room, where Shaw and John were eating on the couch.

 

“So husband, what do you think?” Root asked.

 

John was almost speechless. Root looked like the perfect rich housewife, her hair was in a French twist, her makeup subtle but precise, for jewelry she was wearing a pearl necklace and pearl earrings and the wedding ring John had given her along with the diamond engagement ring from Shaw. Her dress was simple dark grey one, which had a wide V-neck and a leather belt under the bust making room for the dress to flare out a bit for the belly.

 

“Wow” Both John and Shaw said at the same time.

 

“Well you did say high class.” Root said with a small blush at her wife’s wandering eyes.  

 

“I know but you look even better that expected.” John said, Shaw growled faintly in the background.

 

“Well then, lets leave” Root said and put on her heels.

 

When they were in the car John couldn't help but ask.

 

“So… Boy or girl?” He asked, trying to start a conversation.

 

“Honestly we haven’t checked yet, but Sameen used a stethoscope and assured me that the heartbeat was strong and healthy, so I think we are just going to wait until the baby is born to see it… and we are both certain that the other would cheat if we got it checked.” Root finished.

 

John made a sound and nodded.

 

“Check the glove compartment by the way.”

 

Root reached forward, opened the compartment and pulled out an envelope.

 

“Oh John, are you getting sentimental with old age?” She said as she read her drivers license.

 

“I thought you’d appreciate the throwback.” He replied.

 

“Does this mean that you took my last name?” She asked.

 

“Well we are a modern couple Mrs. Turing” A smile played on his lips.

 

Root smiled but didn't say anything. For the rest of the ride they sat in silence.

 

As they walked into the large building Root insisted that they’d hold hands. Method acting.

 

“Mr. and Mrs. Truing? My name is Naomi Quinn we have an appointment.” A tall redhead said as she approached them.

 

This was their number. Naomi Raven Quinn, 45, divorced, mother of 2, heiress.  

 

“Yes we do, my husband has spoken so wonderfully of your school and has convinced me to give it a shot.” Root said with her Stepford smile as she shook Naomi’s hand.

 

“Well I’m glad you have. Let’s talk more in my office shall we?” Naomi said as she let them down a long corridor to a very sizeable office.

 

“Please” she said offering them a seat in front of her desk.

 

“So let me tell you about our facilities” Naomi began and honestly both Root and John tuned out.

 

Well they did until there was a heavy banging on the door.

 

Root looked at Naomi who looked scared, honest to God scared.

 

“Come in” She called, her voice wavering.

 

The door opened and reviled a man, Tobias Naomi’s ex-husband Root knew from the file, he was holding an AK-47, amateur.

 

“Do you mind? We are in a meeting” John said, he just couldn't help it.

 

Then Tobias opened fire, he was untrained and sprayed the entire office with bullets.

Root managed to get Naomi down under the desk as John used the chair for cover while approaching Tobias.

 

It was over as quickly as it began, John managed to get the now empty gun from Tobias and repeatedly hit him in the face with it until he passed out.

 

Naomi was shaking when she stood up.

 

“Oh my God. Mrs. Turing you’re bleeding.” She said still in shock.

 

Root looked down at her self, she hadn’t been hit by any of the bullets. Then she noticed it, the small lines of blood dripping down her legs.

 

“Mr. Turing I think you should call an ambulance.” Naomi said as she helped support Root’s weight after she almost fainted at the sight.

In the end it was Naomi who fainted instead, John left her on the floor in favor of letting Root lay on the couch.

Root took John’s hand.

 

“Distract me?” She asked.

 

“While you were getting dressed Shaw told me that if anything happened to you she would shoot off my left ball.” John offered.

 

“Why the left one?” Root asked taking deep breaths.

 

“Well she once told me that my eh junk is asymmetrical and that the left one is bigger, so that’s properly why.” John said.

 

“But how woul-“ Root was cut off by police and paramedics rushing in.

 

It wasn’t long before Root was on a stretch, being asked all sorts of medical questions.

 

“Mrs. Turing have you ever suffered a miscarriage before?” The female paramedic asked as she was rolled away.

 

For some reason her gaze caught Johns before she broke it and nodded silently.

 

The paramedic didn't respond other than a nod.

 

An officer came over to John to take his statement while Root was driven away.

 

Once he finally made it to the hospital he was meet with a livid Shaw.

 

She punched him in the gut. He let her.

 

“They wont tell me anything or let me see her because she apparently isn’t my fucking wife anymore” Shaw all but growled at him.

 

“The doctor will only allow ‘Mrs. Turing’s’ husband to see her.” She continued.

 

“I’m sorry Shaw” John said.

 

“Don’t. Just get the doctor over here so I can here how my pregnant wife is doing” She said.

 

He asked the nurse at the front desk to have the doctor come as soon as possible.

 

“I trusted you. I trusted you with they safety of my wife and unborn child and next thing I know The Machine is telling me that Root is in the hospital and the doctors wont even talk to me because her ID says Mrs. Caroline Turing and not Mrs. Samantha Shaw.” Shaw said in a low voice as John sat down next to her.

 

It was so weird for John to see this. The first time they had been gathered like this Shaw had been complaining that Root was legally her wife and now her complaint was that she wasn't.

 

“Mr. Turing?” The doctor asked as he walked over to them.

Shaw jumped up.

 

“How is she?” Shaw asked.

 

The doctor ignored her.

 

“Mr. Turing your wife is fine. It was some spotting and the pain following is not uncommon. However, with your wife’s current condition, heart condition and previous miscarriages, I strongly suggest that she should be kept on strict bed rest for the remaining few months.” The doctor said looking at John then at Shaw.

 

‘Miscarriages’ the word hit Shaw like a truck. Root had been pregnant before, more than once and had lost the baby every time. Was that one of the reasons she had been so against getting pregnant?

 

“Can we see her?” Shaw asked.

 

“Yes, we wanted to keep her but she insisted on going home, said that she had a doctor in the family, she should be dressed now.” He replied before pointing them to the room where she was.

 

Shaw wasted no time, almost running in to the room.

 

“Root?” She called.

 

“Here” Root answered from behind the screen.

Shaw pulled it away and saw Root sitting on the bed, like the first time. She looked so small.

 

Her hair had come undone and she had been crying.

 

“Hey baby” Shaw carefully said as she approached her.

 

Root held up a black and grey photo, an ultrasound one.

 

“Don’t worry, it turns out that we were both right” Root said.

   


	27. For a minute I was stone cold sober.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So why didn't you tell me that you've been pregnant before?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, i've had exams and I am leaving for an internship in Florida this month so everything has been kind of crazy :D

They didn't talk on the way home, at all. The ride was long and silent.

 

Root entered the apartment first and went straight to the bedroom. Shaw waited a second before following her.

 

“Root, we need to talk” Shaw said and sat down on the bed while Root changed clothes

 

Root sighed.

 

“That doesn’t sound too good.”

 

“You promised you’d take it easy and…” Shaw began

 

“Oh so it’s my fault that the Number’s husband shot at us?” Root sniped.

 

“No, but you weren’t even supposed to be there in the first place. Do you know how scared I was? And they wouldn't let me see my own wife, pregnant wife at that.” Shaw raised her voice

 

“Shaw…”

 

“No Root I am not finished, you also never told me how serious your heart condition was, that this pregnancy could kill you, on top of that you are pregnant with twins. So help me, Root I will tie you to the bed until you give birth.” Shaw said.

 

Root walked over and sat next to Shaw. She placed her hand on Shaw’s knee.

 

“I’m sorry I scared you and that didn't tell you the full truth.” Root said. There were no jokes or innuendoes.

 

"So why didn't you tell me that you've been pregnant before?" 

 

Root looked away at first then back at Shaw with tears shimmering in her eyes.

 

“It’s not something I like to think about.” Root said.

 

“Oh, then I wont push” Shaw covered Root’s and with her own and squeezed it.

 

Root took a deep breath.

 

“The first time is was 17 years old and it was the result of rape…” Root stopped and took another deep breath.

 

Before she could continue Shaw softly moved them both up to the head of the bed and pulled the covers over Root, cuddling her. Shaw didn't say anything but Root knew it meant ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m here for you.’

 

“I was staying with this guy and one night we were drinking a lot, I don't remember why, I passed out at some point and when I woke he was on top of me, I tried to push him off me but he was so heavy, he told me that I owed him for taking me in and to 'just let it happen'.”

 

Tears fell down her cheeks at the memory.

 

“I left the next morning. Two months passed before I knew I was pregnant, I didn't want the baby… I was going to leave it at a church once I’d given birth… but…”

 

***Flashback***

 

Root woke up to the feeling of someone stabbing her in the belly. She opened her eyes in the dark abandoned factory only lit by moonlight. Then the pain returned and the wetness spread.

 

Root quickly got up and ran out to the street, to get light, to get help, anything.

 

Once she was in the lit up streets of Down Town LA she saw it, the thick lines of blood running down her thighs. She nearly passed out at the sight.

 

A woman saw her, her name was Tori she said she was a nurse at the local retirement home. Tori brought Root back to the home, it was a 10-minute walk but Root felt like she’d walked to New York.

 

The inhabitants were all curious about the pregnant young woman who had been brought in to the med bay.

 

The baby was born exactly at 00.01 in the morning, it was a boy and he was stillborn.

 

Root named him Felix.

 

Tori explained that the baby had died earlier, when the pain came, and that there was nothing Root could have done, it happened that babies died during the first trimester.

 

Root nodded and watched as Tori carried the dead baby away, she hated herself, but she felt relieved.  

 

***End of Flashback***

 

“So what happened next?” Shaw asked softly.

 

“I stayed and worked there, at the home, for a while before Tori found out that I was 17 not 18 and then I moved to Chicago.” Root said.

 

“And the second time?” Shaw inquired

 

“Second time?” Root replied.

 

“The doctor said miscarriages, more than one” Shaw explained

 

“Yeah, it just didn't occur to me that you knew. “ Root said and began.

 

“The second time I was pregnant was an unexpected miracle… I was in Boston, 22 years old and dating a transwoman, Caroline Danes.”

 

***Flashback***

 

“Hey baby how was your day? You had a doctors appointment after your classes right?” Caroline asked as she entered the small studio apartment they shared, they were both college students and money were tight.      

 

“Hey Sweetie” Root said and tiptoed a bit to kiss her.

 

“You seem nervous, is something wrong? Oh my god what did the doctor say?” Caroline began fearing the worst.

 

“Relax its not bad news, or at least I hope it’s not.” Root said.

 

“So, go on tell me… I’m dying to know.” Caroline said with a big smile and took Root’s hands.

 

“So you know I haven’t been feeling well the last couple of weeks right?”

 

Caroline nodded.

 

“Well it turns out that I am actually pregnant.” Root rushed the words and it took a moment before Caroline understood what she had said.

 

Root let out a squeal as Caroline lifted her below the butt and spun them around.

 

“Is it true?” She asked once she’d put Root down again.

 

“Yes the doctor did a blood test, I am pregnant with your child.” Root beamed

 

“But they said it would be impossible with all the hormones and treatments” Caroline wondered out loud.

 

“I know Sweetie, it's a miracle.” Root said.

 

***End of Flashback***

 

“So that time you didn't mind?” Shaw asked

 

“No, I loved Caroline and there was nothing she wanted more than a family” Root said with a sad smile on her face.

 

“What happened, did you miscarry again?” Shaw asked less than tactfully.

 

Root shook her head.

 

“No, I was almost as far along as now, however much smaller, it was late November and we were walking home from dinner…”

 

***Flashback***

 

“Thanks for dinner baby, you shouldn't have” Caroline said and took Root’s hand as they stepped outside.

 

“Hey it’s not everyday my girlfriend is made Teachers Assistant, I gotta celebrate that” Root replied and leaned up to kiss her.

 

They walked a bit further before Root realized they were being followed, before they knew it they were being pulled into an alley.

 

Four men, with bats, surrounded them.

 

“We saw the two of you at dinner… how disgusting.” Said the leader.

 

He walked up to Root.

 

“You are such a pretty girl, why are you with a tranny like this?” He asked

 

“fuck you, that’s why” Root sneered at him.

 

He shook his head with a smile.

 

“I was going to let you leave, we really only want the tranny, but now I gotta teach you a lesson.” He said before smacking Root across the face.

 

Caroline charged to hit him but was held back and beaten by the three others.

 

The leader had taken a liking to punching Root and ignored the three others.

 

He managed to battle her to the ground and unzipped her heavy winter jacket, then he saw it, that she was pregnant.

 

For a moment he looked scared, Root could tell, almost regretful.

 

He got off her and for Root thought that she was saved, he wouldn't hurt a pregnant women. She looked over to Caroline who was bleeding heavily from the face, but the three men kept hitting her. Root heard a bloodcurdling scream at the sound of Caroline’s scull fracturing against the wooden bat and realized that it had been her own.    

 

Then she saw him again, the leader, he had gotten his bat and swung at her, swung down.

 

He hit her belly, once, twice, trice… before moving at bit and swinging at Root’s head the last thing Root saw was Caroline’s broke face before she hit the ground.  

 

***End of Flashback***

 

Root was full on crying as she told Shaw the story, and Shaw would be lying if she said that it didn't make her angry.

 

Root had to wait a few minutes before she could continue.

 

“I woke up in the hospital the next evening, the doctors told me that Caroline had been brought to the OR but died on the operating table, and that a few hours late my body had forcefully gone in to labor while I was still in a coma.”

 

Shaw kissed Root’s forehead.

 

“02:41 was the time Caroline passed away and 05:41 was the time our daughter died.” Root said. “ She lived for 9 minutes but I didn't get to see her or hold her because I was in a medially induced coma to reduce swelling in my brain.”

 

“And after that you decide no more children” Shaw half asked

 

Root nodded

 

“I went back to my old life of crime and decided that it was God’s plan, that I didn't deserve children and I couldn't go through it again.”

 

Shaw sighed

 

“Then you ended up with amnesia and I got you pregnant, with twins.”

 

“Yeah”

 

“I’m sorry Root, it I’d known…”

 

Root shook her head.

 

“… So when are you going to shoot John’s testicle off?” Root was obviously changing the subject but Shaw didn’t mind.

 

“Oh right, it’s the left one and I’m thinking tomorrow… why?’ do you want me to record it?” Shaw was almost smiling at the thought.

 

Root laughed.

 

“I was thinking, how about your just punch him in the junk instead?’ its less messy” Root suggested.

 

Shaw hummed for a moment

 

“I guess, fine I’ll punch him instead.” She agreed.

 

“So where were we on names?’ and what do we do about our bet?” Root questioned.

 

“I guess we both win, I get 10 hours to do whatever I want to you, once you get your figure back, and you get your honeymoon.” Shaw answered.

 

“Hey!” Root hit her for the figure comment.

 

“As for names it can’t be Samuel for the boy now”

 

“Why not?” Root asked

 

“The girl will feel left out”

 

“So we are still stuck on the boy’s name huh?”

 

“Yep”

 

“So Clara for the girl and…”

 

“How about Vincent?” Shaw asked

 

“Vincent?”

 

“It was my dad’s name, Vincent Henry Shaw, he went by Henry most of the time.” Shaw explained.

 

Root leaned in and kissed Shaw softly on the mouth

 

“Clara and Vincent it is.” She said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also hate crimes are real, stop them if you see them.


	28. I just wanna know if you will let me be your world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was dreaming about shooting you in that stupid bunny costume” 
> 
> “So you were dreaming about me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So SO sorry about the long wait!! I'm in Florida right now working for Disney so i have no free time anymore :/ 
> 
> Also sorry it's so short :P

Shaw woke up to the sound of two pairs of footsteps approaching. She could feel Root next to her so she grabbed for the gun underneath her pillow only to find that it was missing. What the hell was going on here?

 

She stood up, prepared to take on the invaders as the door slowly opened. A big mob of curly brown hair came into view first as a little girl stepped in followed by a boy who was a little taller and carrying a tray of something that vaguely looked like it had once been food.

 

“Maamaan, you’re awake.” The girl whispered.

 

Shaw nodded.

 

“We made breakfast, the toast you like, and yoghurt for mommy.” The boy said.

 

The girl gave her brother a small shove towards the bed.

 

“Go on Vince, you said you’d wake up mommy.”

 

“That is unfair Clara, Maamaan was already awake.”

 

Clara and Vincent Shaw realized. They were her kids.

 

“ _Maamaan_ … Would you wake Mommy?” Clara begged with the same pout Root always used.

 

“Root…Root” Shaw called.

 

“Mmhhm…”

 

“ROOT”

 

“What? I’ m up, are the kids okay?” Root sat up in a flash.

 

The cover slipped a bit and revealed her belly. Root was pregnant again.

 

“Mommy, Maamaan” Both kids exclaimed before shouting.

 

“ **HAPPY MOTHERS DAY** ”

 

Shaw starred while Root laughed and pulled the kids up on the bed to hug them.

 

Root looked up at her, her eyes shining with love, it made Shaw want to look away, but she couldn't.

Not until Root broke eye contact to talk to the kids.

Shaw looked around the bedroom; it was filled with domestic stuff, and family pictures, but for some reason it didn't look out of place.

 

Her gaze stopped on her reflection in the mirror. She looked older, her hair was shorter, and she had gained a little wait and lost some muscle.

 

She kinda looked like her mother…

 

“Maamaan?” Vincent asked and tugged on her sleeve.

 

“Yeah” Shaw answered and turned to look at him.

 

“Are you sad? Is it time for you to go again?” He asked, big brown eyes looking up at her.

 

Did she leave them often? She glanced over at Root cautiously trying to eat what the kids made.

 

“No Vincent, I’m not sad and I’m not leaving.” She replied

 

His smile grew wide and he did small jumps. Shaw just watched him for a moment, her son standing there about 5 or 6 years of age, being filled with joy that she is staying.

 

The moment was interrupted when Root shot up from the bed running towards the bathroom.

 

Clara looked sad until Shaw assured her that it was just morning sickness and not the food.

 

After a few moments Shaw told the kids to clean up and go wait in the living room while she checked on Root.

 

“Are you okay?” Shaw asked while Root was brushing her teeth.

 

Root met her gaze in the mirror and nodded before bending to spit into the sink.    

 

“They get their cooking abilities from you” Root joked.

 

“He is kicking” Root said all of a sudden and placed her Shaw’s hand on her belly.

 

Underneath her plam Shaw could feel the baby’s strong kicks.

 

They broke apart when they heard a loud crash from the kitchen followed by a shout.

 

Root let out a sigh but hurried towards the sound. Shaw followed after a few seconds.

 

They found the kids laughing in the kitchen, covered in flour.

 

Shaw didn't know what came over her, but upon seeing Root’s shocked by happy face along with the kids laughter she grabbed a big handful flour and threw it at Root’s face. The kids began laughing even louder now while Root tried to get the flour out of her mouth.

 

Then it happened. Shaw began laughing.

 

Root looked up at her.

 

“ _Sameen… Sameen… Sameen…_ ” But it didn't come from Root.

 

Shaw opened her eyes and saw Root, a younger looking Root, leaning above her.

 

“You were laughing in your sleep” Root said with a warm smile.

 

“No I weren’t” Shaw denied.

 

“Were you dreaming about me?”

 

“No”

 

“Yes, you were”

 

“I was dreaming about shooting you in that stupid bunny costume”

 

“So you _were_ dreaming about me”

 

“About shooing you”

 

“You know I count that as foreplay”

 

“…”

 

“Just tell me your dream”

 

“No”

 

“Sameen”

 

“No”

 

“Why? Are you embarrassed?”  

 

“No”

 

“You know I have dreams about them too”

 

“What?”

“The kids, Vincent and Clara, I dream about them too”

 

“…”

 

“Was it a good dream?”

 

Eventually Shaw broke and told Root about her dream. However she did leave out the part about Root being pregnant again, she refused to acknowledge that she, even on a subconscious level, wanted more kids with Root.          

 

After a few moments Root tried getting up to get dressed but Shaw gently pushed her back in bed.

 

“Where do you thing you are going?” She asked

 

“Sameen”

 

“No, you are on strict bed rest, you only get up to pee”

 

“You just wanna keep me in bed all day” Root smirked and tried to flirt her way out of it, but Shaw wasn’t having it.

 

“I’m not having sex with you” She replied.

 

Root pouted.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Root, I care so much about you and the kids and I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“You won-“

 

“Don’t being with that, I’m a doctor I know when it isn’t safe anymore.”

 

“Fine, but you better make me breakfast in bed and watch X-Files with me” Root demanded.

 

Shaw got out of bed, dressed while ignoring Root’s sigh at the sight of her naked body, and walked over to Root’s side of the bed.

 

She leaned down over her wife and kissed her. The kind of kiss you dreamed about when you were 16 years old and still believed in true love.    

 

“Out of the two of us you are totally Mulder… _weirdo_ ” Shaw said as she walked out of the room.

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- 

While in the kitchen Shaw took her phone up to her face. 

“Find the men who hurt her, the ones that killed her daughter and Caroline” 

“I’m sorry Shaw I’m afraid I can’t do that” 

“No, now you listen to me, they killed her girlfriend and her child they deserve to die.” Shaw argued. 

“I can’t find them for you because they are all dead, reported missing, but believe me they will never be found.” 

“You did that? You took care of it?” Shaw asked The Machine

“I hired a very bad man to do very bad things to them… Root can never know” 

“Did they suffer?” Shaw asked. 

“Yes” 

“Thank you” 

“You may not believe me when I say it but I love Root, Harold may have created me but Root raised me.”

Shaw didn't reply.


	29. There's something wholesome, there's something sweet. Tucked in your eyes that I'd love to meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know it's been SO long and i am so sorry but i've had no time to write anything before now. i hope you can forgive me.
> 
> BTW props to anyone who can spot the "Magicians" quotes in the chapter.

It wasn’t long after the incident everything settled down, they had been in worse situations before so this one wasn’t even top 10. They were chilling on the couch when Shaw’s phone rang.

“Yes.”

“Is that how you answer your phone? I thought I taught you manners”

“Mother”

“Try again”

“What?”

“I’ll call you again and this time it better be a polite young woman answering the phone”

“What Mo-“

Shaw looked at the screen then up a Root who was trying not to laugh.

RING RING 

“Mom”

BEEP BEEP BEEP

“She just hung up, again” Shaw looked somewhere between amused and angry.

RING RING

“Hello Sameen Shaw speaking” 

“YES much better Love”

“Right… so what did you want mom?” 

“David and I want to invite you to dinner” 

“Yes cuz last time went so well”

“Sameen… this time will be different, his sons will be there…a family dinner”

“For me or Root” Shaw joked

“Sameen!”

Before Shaw could reply Root snatched the phone from her hand. 

“Atefeh we would love to come, when is it?” Root asked

“Oh that’s wonderful Honey, It’s on Sunday at 18(6pm)” 

“Great, see you there!” Root managed to yell as Shaw took the phone back and hung up.

“Root!” 

“It’s your mother, Shaw”

“But Dave’s kids are there too…”

“So?”

Shaw shook her head “We have the weirdest family reunions”

Then Root got that look in her eyes, the Machine was talking to her.

“We have to go.” Root said

“Whatever it is I’ll handle it alone or with John” Shaw replied getting ready to stand.

“I would honestly prefer that too sweetie but She say I’m needed for this, you and John are only 76,98% likely to succeed if I don’t come along” Root answered.

“That is good enough for me” 

“Yeah I’m sure it is sweetie but this is about mass Child abduction and trafficking.” 

“…”

“Yeah that was my reaction as well”

“Root, as much as I’d like to help these kids, ours are more important” 

“How can you even say that? 200 kids have been taken so far”

“How can you not? Kids die every day and that is awful but they aren’t our kids, and I’m not going to risk our babies for strangers.” Shaw argued.

“Strangers? They are children Shaw. No one in that ‘shipment’ are more than 10 years old” Root all but yelled. Pregnancy was making her soft.

Shaw got that look now, the dark one that was a final warning. 

Shaw stepped closer to Root, as close as the belly allowed her. She then placed one hand on Root’s stomach and with the other she gently tilted Root’s chin down so they were making eye contact, before softly saying. 

“Root, I will break both of your legs and drag you to the bed if you don't stand down” 

Root had no doubt that Shaw would actually hurt her to keep her and the babies safe. She had to concede this battle. 

“Fine, but I want my strong protest noted for the record.” She huffed as she turned to walk into the kitchen. 

She just needed to get away. 

The mission was longer and more difficult than The Machine had let them know and Root not being there meant more work for both Shaw and John. 

In the end they both got hurt, John broke a few ribs and his left arm while Shaw split her eyebrow, broke her ring and middle finger on her right hand… and much to her own embarrassment and Root’s entertainment… she dislocated her hip. 

So in the end they ended up at Atefeh’s place with Root pushing a fuming Shaw in a wheelchair. 

Root, despite not sleeping well with Shaw gone, looked beautiful. She was wearing a dark green dress. 

Where did she even shop? Shaw wondered.

Shaw however, looked like she had been dead for seven days, and David wasted not time telling her. 

“You look like you did a crime last night” he said in lieu of a greeting. 

“I did” Shaw smirked up at Root from her seat in the wheelchair. “She’s a criminal”

“David” Atefeh said 

“Shaw!” Root said at the same time embarrassed… even if it was true. 

Someone cleared their throat from behind. 

Atefeh and David moved to the side to reveal to tall men. 

The first one was a bit shorter than the other, around Root’s height. He had dark curly hair that was placed in a stylish mob on top of his head. He was wearing a soft blue three-piece suit with a blue floral tie and dark brown leather shoes. All in all he was a handsome man Root noted. 

The second one was the tallest in the room standing somewhere around 191cm(6.3 Feet) tall. He had less hair than his brother but a thick beard instead he was wearing a black polo shirt and black pants, all in all boring. 

“Hey nice to meet you” the second spoke first “My name is James”

Ah Root realized, he was the older brother, which explained so much about his appearance.

“And I’m Peter” the younger one said moving over to give Root a hug, which she carefully accepted.

While eating the made the necessary small talk and Root and Shaw both pretended to be interested. Root did better than Shaw. 

Peter was a costume designer, working primarily for HBO. He had a boyfriend Elliot and a Pit-bull named Courage because he was afraid of everything.

 

James worked for the IRS, yes really, he was some sort of accountant or analyst or something… everyone stopped listing after he said IRS. He was engaged to a woman named Vanessa and they were expecting a baby in 7 months. 

Root told them about their jobs… well their fake once anyway.

After diner Shaw wheeled her self out on the patio to enjoy the fresh air for a moment when she heard the door open and close behind her. 

“So… we are probably going to be siblings by the end of the summer or something.” Peter said. 

Shaw didn't reply. 

Then there was some light rustling and the sound of a lighter. She looked over at Peter.

“Oh I’m sorry how rude of me-” He said passing her the joint “You want a hit?” 

And just like that Shaw already disliked him less.

“You smoke at family dinners?” She asked taking the joint. 

“WHAT are you doing?” they heard a voice behind them. 

They were both relieved to see James.   
Shaw feared it was Root. 

Peter feared it was David. 

“Oh get your balls out of your purse and join us.” Peter laughed. 

Wow Shaw thought she had now gone from dislike to indifferent in less than ten minutes. 

And join them James did. 

“You are hard to read you know” James said to Shaw passing her the joint. 

“I’m not a book” Shaw replied. 

They managed to smoke the whole thing without getting caught when they were finally called into the living room. 

“So I’m sure you all know the reason we called you here…” David said “Atefeh and I wanted our closet family gathered to tell you…” 

“We are getting married” Atefeh interrupted with a happy smile.

Great both Root and Shaw thought for different reasons.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr if you wish at Worldclassbeauty.tumblr.com 
> 
>  
> 
> Quote:  
> “Memories, even bittersweet ones, are better than nothing.”  
> ― Jennifer L. Armentrout, Onyx


End file.
